#i could SCREAM with just how much i love this actually!!!

[straylightdream]

sweet monday afternoons

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: yoon jeonghan x afb.reader

Being with him was easy, and sharing a love of food and baking was the perfect match.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞(𝐬): friends to lovers, coworkers to lovers, romance, fluff, smut

𝐚𝐮(𝐬): nonidol, linecook! jeonghan, waitress/baker!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 9.1k

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cussing, angst kinda?, the mc has a hard time communicating sometimes

𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex, cumplay, creampie, soft dom jeonghan, big dick jeonghan, pussy stretching, size kink, praise kink, the reader has bigger boobs and jeonghan is obsessed, breeding kink, dirty talk, hand job, fingering, oral (both rec), anal play, use of a buttplug, cockwarming, spanking, nicknames: bunny, pretty, pretty girl, baby, sweet cheeks, princess good girl (hers) baby, hannie (his)

𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+ nsfw

𝐚𝐧: happy early valentines everyone. Thank you so much @gyuhao5 for beta reading for me.

🎧: intentions - starfall | soft spot - keshi | casual - chappell roan | talk to me - starfall

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

Growing up you used to spend hours in the kitchen with your grandmother baking. Some of your fondest memories were spent in her kitchen. You always had this dream of going to culinary school to learn more about the art of baking. Your little dream came crashing down when you truly realized how expensive it was going to be. There was no way your parents could afford to send you to culinary school. Especially after your father lost his job.

Your father being laid off drastically changed your life. What started as day trips to see your grandmother soon changed when you and your parents had to move back in with her.

At the age of seventeen you got a job juggling school and working as much as physically possible. At the age of nineteen you saved up enough to move in with your best friend Soonyoung.

Even though culinary school wasn’t in your cards that didn’t detour your love of all things food and baking. Since moving out you have juggled working in the food industry in one way or another. You’ve been a barista, you have been a host and now your two most recent jobs consist of being a waitress at a restaurant called Sucré and on Sundays working at a little local bakery helping out the owner in the early hours of the morning making all her baked goods for the day.

Friday nights at the restaurant are always hell. It tends to be nonstop and the only good part about it is the money you make. It’s break time and sitting in the back alley Soonyoung is laying on the sidewalk complaining about two different tables in his section.

“Do you think if I just left Seungcheol would notice?” Soonyoung groans.

“I’m pretty sure our boss would notice.” Your roommate is always being dramatic in one way or another.

The back door opens and Jeonghan, one of the line cooks walks out. You’ve been working with him for over a year and you wish you could say your crush on him has gone away but it truly hasn’t. In the more recent months you’ve actually become friends with him.

“I hate Fridays.” He groans sitting on the curb next to you. He bumps your knee with his. Over the last two months Jeonghan and you have been flirting quite a bit.

“Don’t we all?” Soonyoung wines.

“How much longer until this night is over?” If you have to deal with one more bitchy customer you might scream.

“Probably three hours,” Jeonghan sighs looking at you.

Glancing at his watch, Soonyoung sits up. “I don’t wanna go back.” Standing up he holds his hand out for you, helping you stand up.

“Joshua and I were talking about going to Wonwoo’s bar he works at after work to get some beers. Would you like to join?” You’ve hung out with Jeonghan after work before with some friends.

“I feel like I need to get drunk after this shift,” Soonyoung chimes in.

“That will take all of one and a half beers to get you there.” Your best friend is the textbook definition of a light weight.

“Is that a yes?” Jeonghan asked.

“Yeah I’m down.” You don’t want to miss an opportunity to hang out with Jeonghan.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Sometimes the best time to go to the bar at midnight is after working a shitty shift at a fancy restaurant. 42nds is a bar that Wonwoo a mutual friend with a lot of the boys works at as a bartender. The drinks are cheap here and everyone always has a great time.

The moment you arrive at the bar Soonyoung ordered himself a beer, and sets his sight on a pretty girl playing pool. Joshua follows him noticing she has a friend with her.

Standing at the bar with Jeonghan you each order a beer. “Shitty night at work?” Wonwoo asked as he cleans some glasses.

“That’s an understatement,” Jeonghan sighs.

“You know this is why I told Seungcheol I didn’t want to work there.” Seungcheol has been trying to get Wonwoo to bartend at Sucré for months.

“You make good money here right?” Jeonghan and Wonwoo have been friends for years as they went to college together.

“Yeah the money is good. I feel like I would probably make more where you guys are, but then again I couldn’t do freelance photography if I worked there.” Wonwoo says.

Before Jeonghan can respond, Wonwoo gets waved down by his manager.

Jeonghan leans again at the bar and takes a drink of his beer. “Can I ask you a question?” Jeonghan asked.

“Sure.”

“Are you and Soonyoung together?” He asked so casually before taking a sip of his beer.

Trying your hardest not to let out a laugh you glance over at your roommate who is in the middle of flirting with a girl over at the pool table. “No we’re not together.”

“Okay I just wanted to know.”

Taking a sip of your beer you raise your eyebrow at him. “Why do you ask?”

A smile plays across his lips, “Well I wanted to make sure you weren’t together before I asked if you wanted to come over to my place tonight?” The room suddenly seems like it’s spinning at the mention of Jeonghan wanting you to come over.

“Like to have sex?” The moment the words leave your mouth you instantly feel embarrassed. Clearly that’s what he wants and you aren’t sure why you’re being so awkward.

“If you don’t want to, it's totally cool. I just thought I would shoot my shot.” You've seen Jeonghan flirt with other people before and you’ve seen him pull his fair share of women. You never thought he had any interest in you.

“I didn’t know you liked me like that.”

“I would have made a move earlier, but I thought Soonyoung was your boyfriend.” Leave it to Soonyoung to cock block you without even trying.

“Definitely not my boyfriend.” In all the years you’ve known Soonyoung you’ve never even had a crush on him. He’s always just been your best friend.

“Well if you’re still interested at the end of the night maybe you could come over to my apartment.”

“Okay.”

The rest of your time is spent hanging out at the pool table. Soonyoung and Joshua are each flirting with a girl and Jeonghan is whooping everyone's ass at pool. When it’s your turn Jeonghan stands next to you coaching you. There is something so sexy about how confident he is at this. If you weren’t already looking forward to going home with him you definitely are now.

Bending over the table, Jeonghan's hand is on your lower back. “You’re doing so good,” he says loud enough for only you to hear.

“You’re very charming Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Only when there is a pretty girl involved.”

As the night comes to a close Jeonghan is at the bar talking to Wonwoo right as you get up.

“Maybe we should call a cab instead of walking the short distance home,” your roommate says.

“Soonyoung I’m going to go to Jeonghan’s house.” Your voice is low, barely above a whisper.

Soonyoung’s eyes go wide as he processes what you just said. “Are you going to fuck Jeonghan?”

“Soonyoung!”

“Oh my god, well have fun getting laid,” he pats you on the back giving you a huge smile. He takes off running towards Joshua asking him to share a cab.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Walking into Jeonghan's small apartment you glance around as he locks the door. It’s an open concept with a kitchen in the corner and three doors in a small hallway.

“Do you have a roommate?”

“No, I live alone. It’s a little one-bedroom.” Stepping out of your shoes, you stare at Jeonghan for a moment. Placing his hand under your chin he tilts your head up. “You’re so pretty,” slowly he leans towards you. His nose is presses up against yours and your lips are almost touching.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I thought you asked me to come over to have sex? Wouldn’t that involve kissing?”

A smile tugs at his lips, “So you want to have sex with me?”

“Yoon Jeonghan I want you to fuck me.”

Without another word he crashes his lips into yours. Your first kiss is everything you had hoped it was going to be. Your stomach feels like it’s filled with butterflies as your lips move together. Pulling back from you his hair falls into his face. Without even thinking you reach up brushing it away.

“Since the moment I started working at Sucré I have wanted to get to know you.” His voice is low.

“Why is that?” Your hand rests on his cheek guiding his face closer to yours again.

“You’re beautiful and there is something about you I’m drawn to.”

“Well I’m all yours.” You step back from him. “You know I have seen you flirt with women at bars and I have always wondered what this would be like.”

He pulls off his white shirt leaving him in his black work pants. Tossing the shirt on the floor he walks closer to you again. “You know I thought you and Soonyoung were either dating or hooking up. I can’t lie, I have been jealous of him for months.”

“I’m not interested in Soonyoung. I’m only interested in you.” You reach out, poking his chest.

“I think it’s time to start losing some clothes.”

Slowly you pull off your shirt. Jeonghan unbuckles his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He’s left standing there in his tight boxer-briefs. His body is absolutely mouth watering. Reaching for the button on your jeans you can even unbutton them before Jeonghan grabs yours, stopping you. “Let me.”

He dropped down to his knees in front of you. This is a sight you never thought you would see. Unbuttoning your jeans, sliding them down your thighs. Stepping out of your jeans you look down to see Jeonghan staring up at you with lust filled eyes.

“Can you take your bra off for me?” He’s sitting back on his hunches. He reaches behind your unclasp your bra. Your heavy breasts are on display. You want to reach up and cover your chest, but you know you shouldn’t.

“It takes everything in me not to stare at your boobs all the time.” He captures his bottom lip between his teeth. Hooking his fingers into your thong he slides them down your legs.

Standing in front of him completely bare he’s staring at you like you’re the only person in the world. You wish you would have known this was going to happen. You would have shaved and worn cute matching lingerie. “I didn’t plan for this to happen. I’m not really prepared.”

Leaning forward he presses a kiss to the top of your pussy.

“I think you look perfect.”

“I would have shaved or something,” you ramble a little feeling embarrassed.

“Guys don’t actually care about that. No matter how you look. I’m going to like you.” If you weren’t wet before you definitely are now.

His hand gently rub your thigh with one hand while the other starts rubbing your wet core. His fingers ran up and down your wet slit.

“You’re already so wet.” He smiles up at you. “Is this all because of me?”

Silently, you nod.

“Can you turn around and hold on to the couch for me?”

“Yes.”

Bent over the back of the couch you’re caught off guard when he knocks your legs further apart. His lips leave a trail from between your shoulder blades down to your wet core. He stopped biting to leave love bites on the flesh of your butt cheeks.

“I hope this isn’t a one time thing. I have been dying to get you like this for a long time.”

Dropping to his knees behind you, his face is level with your wet pussy. His fingers part your lower lips slowly and he starts licking your sensitive clit. One of his long fingers slowly starts thrusting into you. “You’re so tight,” he moans against your pussy. Your fingers grip the couch cushion below you at the feeling as he adds another finger. “I need to stretch you out for me.” Hooking his fingers he’s brushing the perfect spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. The way he’s sucking on your clit and thrusting his fingers in and out if you can’t help but moan his name.

“Fuck-“ your legs feel like they’re about to buckle.

“Come on pretty girl. Are you going to come on my face?”

“Please- close-“ you can’t help but whimper. Incoherent words seem to leave your mouth.

“Can you take another finger?”

“Yes-“ The moment he stretches you open with a third finger you moan his name loudly. Your orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks. Your head falls forward resting on the couch cushion. Jeonghan slowly licks your clit as you ride out your high.

Pulling away from you he gives your ass an unexpected smack earning a moan from you. “Fuck you’re good at that.” You slowly pushed yourself up. Turning around you lean back against the couch. Your eyes are locked on his as his thumb wipes away your release from his bottom lip. Taking his thumb into mouth he sucks your release off his skin.

“You taste so sweet.”

“Let’s move to the bedroom,” he reaches his hand out. He leads you off to his bedroom. “Can you lay on the bed?” He asked releasing your hand.

“Yes.”

“I have a few questions before we continue.” Walking over you lay down in the middle of the bed. He stands at the top of the bed. “Are you on birth control?” He catches you off guard when he removes his boxers and you’re greeted by the sight of his very large cock. This was definitely the largest you’ve ever seen in person. You’re speechless at the sight of him.

“Hey pretty girl can you answer me?”

Blinking a few times you glance up at him feeling embarrassed he literally left you speechless at the sight of his naked body. “I have an IUD.”

“Do you want me to wear a condom?” He pushes his finger through his dark hair. Walking over to the nightstand he pulls out a bottle of lube and tossed it on the bed next to you.

“I’ve never had sex without one.” None of your past partners have asked you to go bare. The idea of him taking you raw with his huge cock makes you wet all over again.

“I don’t mind wearing a condom. It’s fully up to you. I’m clean. I got tested two months ago and haven’t slept with anyone since. I’m giving you the option if you want me to go raw.”

“You don’t have to wear a condom.” There is something thrilling about the idea of him not wearing anything as he enters you.

He puts his knee on the bed and moves towards you. Sitting back on his hunches between your legs. “My final question,” he gently parts your thighs.

“Yes?”

“Where do you want me to come?”

“Am I allowed to ask you to finish inside me?” You can’t get the thought of him filling you to the brim out of your mind.

“Absolutely.”

“Please come inside.” You’ve read countless romance novels about men with breeding kinks who are obsessed with finishing inside someone and you’re curious what Jeonghan is like when it comes to finishing inside you. “Do you have a breeding kink or do you just like creampies?” It’s a bold question but you are genuinely curious.

Sitting on his hunches between your legs. Reaching over he clicks open the bottle of lube coating his large cock with a generous amount of it. He runs his length through your folds collecting your release. His lust blown eyes are locked on you. “Are you going to be turned off if I have breeding kink?” He taps his rose colored head against your clit. A loud moan passes your lips. He pours more lube in your wet core and takes his time massaging your lower lips and your entrance to wet core with it.

“No, I think I want you to have one.”

“Do you want me to talk dirty to you while I fill you to the brim for the first time ever with my cum?”

You take a shaky deep breath, “please.”

Slowly he pushes into you inch by inch. Giving you time to adjust to the sheer size of him. “Anything for you princess.”

“Fuck you’re big-“ you moan closing your eyes. It’s gonna take a little bit to get used to the feeling of him stretching you.

“You’re doing so good,” he stills completely as he bottoms out. His hand rubs your side helping to relax you. Your eyes are locked on his as you take slow deep breaths trying to relax. He presses a gentle kiss to your knee. “If you need to stop. We don’t have to continue.”

“I want you to fuck me. I just need a moment. You’re just- you’re just fucking big.” He has you stuttering over your words.

A smile tugs at his lips. “You sure know how to stroke a guys ego.”

Rolling your eyes, “I can’t be the only one who has told you your dick is huge.”

“I’ve heard it before, but it’s nice hearing you say it.”

Pushing yourself up on your hands you look down at where you’re connected. The sight of him stretching your tight pussy turns you on even more.

“You can move. Could you go slow?”

“Absolutely.” He leans forward pressing his lips to yours. “Next time I’m going to have you ride me so I can suck on your nipples and play with your huge boobs.”

“Are you a boob guy Jeonghan?”

“I’m obsessed with your boobs.”

“Does that mean yes?”

“You’re finding out about all my kinks tonight.” He pulls his hips back, removing himself almost fully from you. “Now lay down baby.” Silently you follow his command.

His hips roll into yours at a steady but slow pace. He stays in the same position sitting on his calves. After a few minutes he hooks one of your legs over his arm for a better position. The room is filled with the echoing sounds of moans, heavy breathing and wet sounds from a mix of your release and lube.

“Can you touch my clit?” It's rare you can come without clit stimulation. He groans as his hand moves to your core. His thumb makes rough circles on your clit. “Jeong-“ your body feels tense as you get closer and closer to the edge.

“Can you cum for me?” He drops your leg that he’s holding. His thumb continues to work on your clit. Reaching forward he takes your breast in his hand. Pinching your nipple.

“Oh god-“ you cry as you cum. Your walls spasm around his huge length. “Please cum inside me-“ you beg.

“I’m gonna fill you up,” he snaps his hips into yours at a quicker pace. His hips stutter as he paints your wall white. He moans your name like a prayer. Leaning forward he basically collapsed on your soft body.

Closing your eyes you slowly come down from your high. Gently your hand strokes his back as his breathing is heavy.

“Fuck-“ he groans. “I don’t think I have ever cummed that hard in my life.”

“You almost made me cry, I came so hard.”

He leaves a trail of wet kisses across the top of your breast.

“I might truly be obsessed with your boobs,” he laughs, slowly rolling off you.

“You can play with them anytime you want.”

A smile is plastered across his lips. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Crawling out of bed he runs off to the bathroom and comes back with a wet washcloth to wipe away his cum that is slowly dripping out of you.

Laying in his bed staring at the ceiling, Jeonghan is playing with your hair. Things feel so comfortable between you. This doesn’t feel like a random hook up.

“Are you able to get breakfast together Sunday?”

Glancing up at him he looks so gentle. “I can't, I have to work at the bakery. I’m there from five in the morning to noon.”

“You work at a bakery?”

“Yeah I work a little bakery called Sweet Kisses. I just work there on Sunday mornings helping bake.”

“I didn’t know you bake.”

“I don’t get to do it very often so not a lot of people know.” Looking over at him you smile.

“I make a mean chocolate chip cookie.” He says staring at the ceiling with a gentle smile on his lips.

“Will you make them for me one day?”

“Absolutely.”

There’s a moment of silence before it clicks what he asked. “Did you just ask if I wanted to go on a date?”

A smile spread across his lips. “I was trying to.”

“I can’t get breakfast Sunday but I’m free the rest of the day.”

“Won’t you be tired?” He bops your nose earning a smile from you.

“I can drink some coffee and it will be worth being tired if I get to go out with you.”

“Can I pick you up from work Sunday from the bakery?” Looking up at him you lean up and press your lips to his.

“Absolutely.”

“Should I head home now?” You haven’t had casual sex in a while and you weren’t sure if he wanted you to stay or go.

“Why would you leave?”

Looking away from him you feel embarrassed. “Maybe you wanted to get some sleep and not worry about me.”

“I absolutely don’t want you to leave. I was hoping we could cuddle, and maybe have some cuddly morning sex, before I take you home. Since we both have work tomorrow.” He glanced over at his alarm clock to see its two in morning. “I guess technically we work tonight.” Your body feels warm at his sweet statement.

“I like your idea.”

He leans down pressing his lips to your. Smiling he pulls back from you. “I’m so glad I made a move on you finally.”

Walking into your apartment you find Soonyoung sitting on the couch watching tv. The moment he sees you a huge smile plays across his face.

“Well well well look who is home from her little sex romp.”

A heavy sigh passes your lips as you roll your eyes. “Soonyoung-“

“Was the sex good?” Soonyoung stands up. Your best friend loves gossiping and he absolutely wants to hear all the details about your night with Jeonghan.

“Soonyoung-“

“Listen, my best friend finally got laid by her crush. You can’t blame me for wanting to know the dirty details about how Jeonghan is in bed.”

Rolling your eyes you know he’s not going to let up, “let’s just say he’s so big I’m shocked I’m walking.”

Soonyoung’s eyes about bulge out of his head. “Jeonghan is packing?” He practically yells.

“That’s all the details you’re getting.”

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung follows you down the hall towards your bedroom. “I would have never guessed he has a huge dick.”

Not even bothering to respond anymore, you shut your bedroom door practically in Soonyoung's face. “Hey,” he yells knocking on the door.

Ignoring him about picking up your room before you need to get ready for your shift tonight.

Getting dressed in your work clothes you go to where you have a small washer and drying area. Looking for your apron you spot Soonyoung’s work shirt.

“Are you really not going to give me the dirty details about how your dick appointment went?” He stands in the doorway watching.

“Stop asking me about Jeonghan’s huge cock, and start getting ready for work,” you toss his dress shirt at him. Now that your roommate knows about what unfolded between you and Jeonghan, there is no way he’s not going to tease you about it all the time.“We need to leave for work in thirty minutes.”

“Fine, have it your way, we won't talk about Jeonghan and his huge dick.” Soonyoung pouts.

-

Sundays are always rough for you. Saturday nights you always work until nine at night and then Sunday mornings you have to wake up at four in the morning for your shift at the bakery.

The sometimes exhausting Sundays are worth it. Especially when you absolutely love getting to spend the day baking. Juliette, the owner of the bakery loves letting you try our new recipes and fun new baked goods.

Walking out of the bakery you find Jeonghan leaning against the hood of his car holding a cup of coffee. You’ve been awake for hours and you’re quite tired but you don’t even care. You’re just excited to spend the day with Jeonghan.

“I have come bearing gifts,” he smiles, holding out an iced americano. “I asked Soonyoung what your coffee order is.”

“I see you enlisted the help of my best friend,” you smile while taking the coffee.

“What do you have planned for us?”

“I was thinking there is a museum in town I have been wanting to go to.”

“I would love to go to a museum.”

The drive from the bakery to the museum is about thirty minutes. The car ride is filled with small talk and Jeonghan singing along to the radio. Things between you feel natural.

Once arriving at the museum you instantly notice how happy he is. You quickly learn that he absolutely loves art.

Hand in hand Jeonghan led you through the museum. Occasionally releasing your hand to take photos of you and the art work. He takes you all around showing you all this favorite artist. You even snap a few candid photos of him. He doesn’t know it yet but you already like him so much.

Sitting in the garden section of the museum. You are surrounded by a sea of beautiful roses. Jeonghan is off to a little cafe grabbing something to eat.

Looking through your text you see a message from Soonyoung.

From Soonyoung: how is your date with massive dick Jeonghan?

From you: can we please not talk about his dick all the time?

From Soonyoung: where is the fun in that?

From you: The date is going a amazing.

From Soonyoung: this man really likes you. He literally asked me about your favorite foods and drinks. He basically had me give him a pop quiz on all things you.

From you: that’s good because I really like him.

From Soonyoung: is it safe to say you’re not coming home? Something tells me his massive dick is going to take you for a ride tonight.

From you: IDK?! Gotta go he’s coming back.

Jeonghan comes back over with a tray of food and drinks. Quickly you close your phone and put it back in your purse.

“I got us a few things to split.” He says sitting across from you. He got a delicious looking sandwich and a couple of pastries.

Sitting there splitting amazing pastries you can’t help but feel happy. “I like you Jeonghan.”

“I like you too, bunny.” His little nickname catches your attention. No one has ever called you that.

“Bunny?”

“You’re very cute like a bunny. So you’re my bunny.”

“I like that nickname.”

Leaning across the table he pushed your hair behind your ear. Leaning in closer to him you want to kiss him. His nose brushes against yours. “I want to keep seeing you like this.” Your lips touch for a searing kiss.

With your lips still brushing, “can you stay night with me again?”

“I would like that.”

“We’re both off tomorrow and if you’re free maybe we could just spend the day baking and hanging out.”

“I would really like that.”

Spending time with Jeonghan is easy. There is something about him you just click with immediately.

-

This time when you find yourself lying in Jeonghan’s bed he has you on your side. Your leg is lifted resting on his thigh. He’s pressed up behind you pushing into you at a slow but steady pace. One grips your heavy breast. Toying with your nipple between his fingers.

“You feel so deep,” you moan.

“Can you play with your clit for me?”

Breathlessly you nod. Your fingers move down to where you’re connected. Your clit is extra sensitive from the attention Jeonghan gave it when you arrived back at his place. He spent twenty long minutes eating you out. With ease he was able to get two orgasms out of you.

“Fuck this feels so good,” the sounds of his low raspy voice is intoxicating. “Do you like it when I go nice and slow?”

“Yes,” you’re trying your hardest not to sound desperate.

This felt so different then your first time together, this feels so much more intense.

Your orgasm hits you so hard you see stars. Your body feels like a live wire. He keeps his same slow deep pace helping you ride your high out.

His lips are attached to your shoulder leaving a trail of open mouth kisses in his wake.

Falling apart he moans your name. His last few thrusts are sloppy. There is a warm feeling washing over you. He paints your walls white with his sticky release.

Every so slowly he pulls out. Rolling onto your back you take slow deep breaths recovering from your intense orgasm.

Crawling out of bed he disappears for a moment before he returns with a warm cloth in hand. “Spread your legs for me bunny.”

Silently you follow his command. Gently he wipes away his release that is starting to drip out of you.

“You are so beautiful,” he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your knee.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Ever since your first night when you slept together two months ago Jeonghan has become a fixture in your life. You aren’t exactly sure what you are. Neither of you have discussed labels or exclusivity, but you aren’t interested in anyone other than him. The way he talks about whatever relationship you have he doesn’t make it sound like he’s sleeping with anyone else.

Sundays and Mondays are your favorite days now. Both of you are off from work so you tend to spend the night at Jeonghan’s on Sunday night and Monday you will spend the day together. Most Monday’s you spend the afternoon in the kitchen together.

Being with Jeonghan he’s really helped you embrace your love of baking. You’ve been able to see his love of food along the way.

Today's recipe is something you have never tried before. You saw an Instagram post about a miso brown sugar cookie and now you can’t stop thinking about it.

While you’re mixing together your dry ingredients Jeonghan is at the stove cooking something for you both to eat for lunch. He’s dressed in a pair of grey sweats that set low on his hips and nothing else. You’re dressed in an oversized shirt and a pair of tiny sleep shorts. Most Mondays you spend just in his apartment and you rarely change out of your pajamas. Whatever Jeonghan is cooking smells delicious.

Slowly you pour your wet ingredients into the bowl with your dry ingredients mixing them together.

“Hannie, can you preheat the oven please?”

“Ay at captain.” He steps back from the stove and turns on the oven.

While Jeonghan finishes making lunch you place all your cookie dough on the tray before placing it in the oven. Sitting at the kitchen table your eating the delicious soup that Jeonghan has made.

“You always look so happy when you’re baking,” he says.

“As a kid I always loved baking with my grandma. It just always puts me at ease.”

The timer goes off signaling your cookies are done. Hopping up you grab an oven mitt and pull out your golden cookies. Placing them on the cooling rack, you admire your work. Jeonghan comes up behind you. One hand rest on your hip while the other reaches out grabbing one of your fresh hot cookies.

He blows on the cookie before taking a bite. He moans the moment the cookie touches his tongue. “Bunny these taste amazing.”

“Are you just saying that?” You glance up at him.

“Absolutely not. These taste incredible. I will never lie to you when it comes to tasting what you make.”

“I feel like I should save some of these for Soonyoung. He used to get all my bake good before we started seeing each other.”

He places a kiss on your cheek before walking over to the table. “I like to think this is perk of being the one who has you coming so hard you almost cry.”

Rolling your eyes you shake your head. Sitting back down across from him.

“What’s the plan for today?” You asked.

“I was going to try and make this new dish for dinner. So maybe after a little while we can run to the grocery story.”

Days like these are your favorite. You don’t have anything lavish planned, you just spend the day enjoying each other's company. Walking around the grocery store Jeonghan pushes a little cart as you walk next to him. You love seeing the way he lights up when he sees new ingredients he’s been wanting to cook with.

“What’s your opinion on pineapple upside cookies?” You’re looking out the crate of fresh pineapples in the produce section.

“Like the cake?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve never had them in the form of a cookie.” Without saying anything you hand him a decent size pineapple you picked out. “Is this your way of trying to get my cum to taste sweet?” He laughs at his own immature statement.

“Are you a teenager now?”

“You can’t tell me you haven’t heard that myth before?”

“I have, and unless you behave I’m never tasting your cum ever again.”

His eyes go wide at your quick response. “You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t push me.” You laugh.

Walking for the street he holds the bag of groceries in one hand and your hand in the other. Things are so easy with Jeonghan and it makes you so happy. You haven’t been this happy with a man ever before.

Entering Jeonghan’s apartment you put away the groceries together. Sitting at the kitchen table looking up new recipes you want to try while Jeonghan is preparing things for dinner.

Standing up you walk over and wrap your arms around him hugging him from behind him.

“Yes bunny?”

“I just want to be close to you.” You love being able to hold him and cling to him.

He removes your hands and turns around so he’s facing you. Pinching your chin he tilts your head up towards him. Slowly he leans down pressing his lips to yours for a searing kiss. “Is my girl needy?”

“I’m always needy for you.”

“Are you hungry?” You know he’s asking if you’re literally hungry since he’s prepping dinner. But you can only think about him.

“I’m hungry for you.”

“You naughty girl.”

“I want you.”

“Go to my room, I'll be there in a minute.” Pulling away he smacks your ass before you can get two steps away from him.

Walking off to his room instead of waiting for him to undress you, you strip naked. Standing the foot of his bed you wait for him.

Opening the door he’s pleasantly surprised at the sight of you fully naked.

“Hands and knees bunny,” he taps your ass walking past you. “How do you feel about putting a little plug in this cute little ass of yours?” Without thinking you moan in response. Reaching into his nightstand he pulls out a small bottle of lube and the small rose gold plug he bought for you last month. This is the first time you’ve worn a plug while he fucked you. He asked you about ass play about two weeks into sleeping together. He’s had you wear one while he eats out or fingers you. You had never tried anything like this but you were intrigued.

When he ended up buying a cute rose gold plug you couldn’t help but be excited. Getting on to the bed presenting yourself to him he grips your fleshy cheek, massaging it as he kisses the other one. His long fingers slide through your slit brushing against your clit.

Clicking the bottle of lube open he dollops amount onto your tight ring of muscle.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?” His finger spreads around the cold lube.

“Yes,” you sigh.

His finger slides into your ass slowly. “Do you think you can wear you cute little plug while I fuck you?”

“Yes,” you mewl as another finger slides into you.

“Maybe one day we can train you to take all of me in your ass,” he squeezes the flesh of your ass cheek.

“Too big-“

“You’re right, pretty girl. I think I’m too big for this tight little hole.”

Removing his fingers from your ass he reached for the plug on the bed next to him. He generously coats in lube before pressing it to your ass. Ever so slowly he pushes it in. A loud moan pssses your lips once it’s fully inside. His thumb adds a little pressure to it causing your eyes to roll back.

“Baby scoot forward. I’m going to eat you out and prep you.”

The feeling of Jeonghan’s mouth on your core has your eyes rolling back in your head. Hands grip the sheets below. His tongue keeps dipping into your entrance earning a moan. His thumb keeps applying pressure to the plug giving you a whole new feeling.

Before Jeonghan you had plenty of sexual encounters with other men, but no other man has ever tried to understand your body as well as he can. This man loves your pussy and will never miss an opportunity to have his head between your legs. He knows all the right things to do to have you crying out his name.

Fingers claw at the sheets below as he gets you closer and closer to the edge. Curving his fingers he’s brushing the special place inside you that makes you see stars.

Your face is pressed against the bed as you collapse onto your elbows. All the pressure building inside you finally brushes as you cry out his name. Pulling away from you he wipes away your release from his mouth with the back of your hand. A cocky grin is plastered across his lips as he watches you absolutely fascinated by your fucked out expression.

“I don’t think you have ever came that hard.”

“I felt like I was going to black out,” you pant.

“Do you need a break or can you take me?” He crawls off the bed.

“Please fuck me,” you all but beg.

Closing your eyes you take a moment to calm down. You can hear the sounds of him removing his clothes. The sound of his belt hitting the floor lets you know he’s naked. The bed behind you dips. Seconds later his hands are rubbing your side. “You’re always so good for me.”

Slowly pushing yourself up onto your hands, you look over your shoulder at him. He looks lost in a haze of lust. Taking his length into his hand he slowly runs it through your wet folds. Tapping it against your sensitive clit he earns a moan from you.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes-“ you moan.

Pushing into you his hand grips your hips pulling you flush against him. The feeling of him stretching you out while a plug is snug in your ass is intoxicating. You haven’t ever felt this full before. Closing your eyes taking in the feeling of giving yourself a moment to adjust.

He must be able to tell that you need time. His hands slowly rub your side. “Such a good girl.”

“Baby,” you moan.

“Is it too much?”

“No it feels so good-“ you feel as if you’re stumbling over your words. “Can you go slow?”

“Yeah-“ he groans. “You feel so tight.”

The full feeling is like nothing you have ever experienced before. The room is filled with sounds of skin slapping against skin, his heavy breathing, and your echoing moans.

His pace picks up, and he keeps up his deep thrust. One hand rests on the small of your back signaling for you to drop back down to your elbows.

This feels like a whole new angle. His dick curves up a little bit and with this angle he’s brushing a new spot inside of you. On top of the snug feeling of the plug inside your ass. Maybe one day you’ll let him take the time and actually try and properly fuck your ass.

“Hannie-“ you whine. Your brain feels like it’s turning to mush with each thrust.

“Baby you’re squeezing me so tight.”

You can’t imagine how tight you must feel to him right now. “Harder-“

“You want more?”

“Please.” You’re absolutely desperate to fall apart like this.

His hips snap a little harder helping you chase your release. Drool is practically falling out of your mouth against the sheets below as he fucks you basically stupid.

A ringing takes over your ears as your orgasm hits you out of nowhere. Closing your eyes you cry out his name. Moments later he slams into you three times before holding you flush against his pelvis. You feel extra full as he finishes inside you.

Ever so slowly he pulls out. His eyes are locked on your core watching his milky white release drip out of you.

“I might actually have a breeding kink when it comes to you.” His words instantly earn a smile.

“Are you that down bad for me?” He rolls his eyes. Hoping off the bed runs off to grab a cloth to clean up his mess he made of your pussy.

“Baby we should shower.”

“Can we wait like ten minutes? You fucked me so good I don’t know if my arms work.”

He laughs and crawls back on the bed as you slowly lay down flat. Your head is off to the side watching him get comfortable next to you.

“I love spending Mondays with you.” He says.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Work seems to suck less knowing at the end of the night you’ll be in bed with Jeonghan whether that means you’ll be having sex or just hanging out. The second your shift wraps up you find Jeonghan standing in the waiting area talking to Seungcheol while he waits for you.

Walking toward them you plan to keep it professional. Seungcheol is well aware you’re seeing Jeonghan but technically he’s your boss and you’re not sure if it’s frowned upon to be dating your coworker. Jeonghan grabs your hand pulling you close to him.

“Ready sweet cheeks,” your nickname causes you to instantly roll your eyes while Seungcheol barks out a laugh.

“I’m going to go on a limb and say she doesn’t like that nickname,” Seungcheol says.

“Do you not like it bunny?” He often calls you bunny and you think that nickname is cute. Sweet cheeks on the other hand can go.

“Please stick to bunny,” you lean up pressing your lips to his.

Soonyoung walks up with Joshua in tow. “Are you two down for drinks tonight?”

Putting his arm over your shoulder he pulls you closer to him. “I’m good with a couple of drinks. How about you bunny?”

“I’m good for one or two beers and then I need to go to bed.”

“Which bed are you going to? Yours that’s been empty for a week or darling Yoon Jeonghan’s?” Soonyoung loves to tease you.

“She’ll be in mine,” Jeonghan responds before you even have a chance.

“Seungcheol, are you joining us?” Joshua says walking up.

“Why not?” your boss shrugs.

Standing in the bar you watch as Seungcheol, Joshua and Jeonghan are at the bar talking to Wonwoo. You’re sitting with Soonyoung at a table sipping on your beer. “You know you seem really happy with your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You haven’t labeled this and you don’t want to go around calling him that if he doesn’t see this the same way.

“Ma��am you have been sleeping with him, going on dates and practically living at his place three days a week. If that is not your boyfriend this might be the strangest friends with benefits relationship I have ever seen.”

“I think we’re just casual.”

“Does he know that?” He arches his eyebrow.

“I’m not sure.”

“Maybe you guys should talk about that tonight. I’m your best friend and I can tell when you're head over heels for someone. And you my dear best friend, you are down bad for Yoon Jeonghan.”

After a couple beers at the bar with everyone from work you go home with Jeonghan just like he said you would. Walking into his apartment both remove your shoes before heading off to the bathroom. You brush your teeth with the toothbrush you keep here.

Glancing around the bathroom you realize how Jeonghan has truly gone out of his way to make you feel at home. He’s gotten you your same face wash you use at home and even your face cream. You snap out of your thoughts when you see Jeonghan naked standing behind you through the bathroom mirror. He smacks your ass before walking off to the shower. He starts the water and lets it heat up for a moment before sliding the door open.

“Did you wanna join me?” He asked.

“I washed my hair yesterday and I don’t wanna blow dry it tonight.”

“Come join me and I’ll try not to get your hair wet.”

Pulling off your sleep shirt you leave at his place you strip naked. Sliding the shower door open, you step towards the warm water making sure to keep your hair as dry as possible. You watch him as he washes his hair. He’s so beautiful without even trying.

Lay on his bed, his body resting between your spread legs.

“Jeonghan, can I ask you something?” He’s kissing his way across your chest.

“Yeah.” He says between kisses.

“Am I your girlfriend?”

“Do you wanna be?” He looks up.

“I see you as my boyfriend but we haven’t ever discussed that or even talked about if we’re exclusive.” This feels insane you’re discussing this three months in.

“Do you think I’m sleeping with other people?” He gives you a confused look.

“No, I hope you aren’t.”

“Bunny when we fuck I don’t wear a condom. The moment we did that we were automatically exclusives.”

“That doesn’t answer the question about what exactly we are.”

“Bunny, you're my girlfriend. Wonwoo literally calls you my girlfriend. Everyone at the restaurant refers to me as your boyfriend.” He smiles.

“That’s cool. I’m glad we figured that out.” You let out a nervous chuckle. He presses his lips to yours for a heated kiss.

“You know you could have brought this up after the museum and I would have told you I was your boyfriend right then?” He smiles.

“You mean the first time we went out?” You instantly think back to your first date together.

“Yes, our first first date.”

“You were fine with being my boyfriend then?” Based on the way you hooked up with first time you always assumed he saw that time together as something casual like a simple hook up.

“Hell the first time we had sex I would have said yes to being your boyfriend. I had a crush on you for months when I thought you were with Soonyoung.”

“I still can’t believe you thought I was with Soonyoung.”

He closed his eyes and smiled before pressing his lips to the tip of your nose. “Just be happy I was finally brave enough to ask you out.”

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

It’s been a week since Jeonghan and you finally labeled your relationship and life has been extra crazy. You’ve been at home more often than you have been at Jeonghan’s. Normally you spent Mondays together, but this week Jeonghan ended up having to cover Mingyu at work and you spent the day with your mom. She unexpectedly was in the city for the day and wanted to spend time with you.

She spent all of lunch asking you questions about your boyfriend. She made a big deal about asking if he would come with you to dinner next Sunday. You weren’t sure if you were in the next stage of your relationship when it was time to meet the parents, but you knew you should at least ask him.

On Tuesday when you finally saw him at work you decided not to bring up meeting your parents. You wanted to do this away from work.

After work Jeonghan didn’t even give you a chance to pretend you were going to go home with Soonyoung. He grabbed your hand pulling you towards his car while shouting a goodbye at your roommate.

After a long day at work Jeonghan absolutely loves showering together. Nothing sexual normally happens in the shower. He just likes being close with you there.

He’s in the middle of rinsing his hair. You’re focused on him. You need to ask him something important but you’re kind of scared for some reason.

“You can absolutely say no, but would you be interested in going to a family dinner with me?”

“You want me to meet your parents?” He raised his eyebrow stepping out from under the water.

“It would be nice, but you can absolutely say no. I understand if this is too soon.”

“We’ve been seeing each other for four months. I would like to meet your parents. I think they should meet your boyfriend.” It’s so nice to hear him refer to himself as your boyfriend.

“You're much more calm about this than I expected you to be.”

He steps towards, reaching out he pulls your wet body close to his. “This is the natural next step in a relationship. I care about you bunny, of course I should meet your parents.”

Sunday afternoon rolled around. You just finished your shift at the bakery and Jeonghan picks you up. He’s got two duffle bags in the car in case you decide to stay the night. Your parents live two hours away. The ride to your parents house you’re a little nervous but you aren’t sure why. Jeonghan is literally the perfect boyfriend. You know your family will love him. But for some reason, first meetings are always scary.

Standing in the kitchen making cookies with your grandma you look out into the window and see Jeonghan laughing about something with your father.

“Your boyfriend seems like a catch.” Your grandma has always seemed like a good judgment of character.

“I really like him.” That’s truly an understatement. You are very much head over heels for him.

“You said he’s a cook at your restaurant?”

“He’s a line cook.”

“There is something special about a couple who share a love of food. Your grandfather learned to bake for me.”

“He knew how to bake before me, but he’s really helped encourage me to bake more and to learn new recipes.”

“That right there darling makes him a keeper.” Your grandma smiles as she pats your back. “Pass me the brown sugar.”

Baking with your grandma has always made you happy. Looking out the window you find Jeonghan smiling back at you. Glancing back at your grandma you watch as she mixes together the batter.

“Gram, I love him.”

“That’s good darling, because he looks like he’s in love with you.”

Your evening with your parents and grandma is nice. When dinner time comes around you notice that instantly Jeonghan fits in with your family. Your mother already adores him and your father is making plans for the next time you come home. You couldn’t have asked for a better first meeting. On the drive up here you weren’t fully sure if you’re staying the night. Time seemed to slip away and before you knew it midnight was approaching.

“Why do you two stay the night?” Your father says walking into the kitchen where you and Jeonghan are doing the dishes.

“I don’t think you guys should drive home in the middle of the night,” your mother chimes in.

“We brought duffle bags. We can stay if you would like,” Jeonghan says.

“Let’s stay and head home in the morning.”

“At least stay for breakfast before heading home,” your mother says.

Sitting in the room you grew up in Jeonghan is searching through his duffel bag. You're perched on your full sized bed.

“Hannie?”

“Yeah bunny?” He stands up holding his pajama pants.

“Can I tell you I love you?” You thought maybe the first time you said those three big words it would be some kind of grand gesture. But maybe it doesn’t need to be, because saying it right now like this feels right.

He steps closer to you so he’s right in front of you. “Only if I can say I love you too.” He leans forward pressing his lips to yours. “Everything about being with you is easy. You were easy to fall in love with. I wanted to say it when you agreed to be my girlfriend, but I thought I should wait a minute.” A warm feeling takes over your chest. Your eyes start to brim with tears. You care so deeply for him and you have absolutely fallen head over heels in love with. Loving him was as easy as breathing.

“Being with you just feels right.” He smiles at your words. His hand rests on your cheek pushing away the salty happy tear that slides down your cheek.

“That’s good because I’m going to love you forever.” Jeonghan has proven to always be a man of his word and you know that he’s the person you’re supposed to be with.

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[cloudyluun]

Serendipity & Stumbles

Summary: Based on this request. You never expected to keep bumping into Harry Styles, single dad and bookstore owner, but fate—and your kids—had other plans. From coffee shop disasters to rainy-night rescues, your lives keep tangling together, no matter how much you try to resist. But when two very determined little matchmakers step in, running might not be an option anymore.

Slow-burn, single-parent chaos, meddling kids, and Harry in full-on dad mode? Yeah, you’re in trouble.

A/N: I dragged this slow burn out on purpose. I made you suffer. And honestly? I’d do it again. Thanks for sticking around, even when you wanted to scream at them to just kiss already. This isn't proofread, sorryyy

Word Count: 8,4k

Warnings:

Single parent struggles (exhaustion, self-doubt, balancing work & motherhood)

Mentions of past unhealthy relationships (nothing graphic, but allusions to emotional difficulty & fear of attachment)

Slow-burn romance (painfully slow at times, because I like to make you suffer before the payoff 😌)

Lots of angst, mutual pining, and missed opportunities before they actually get their shit together

Fluff so sweet it might rot your teeth

Smut!!

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

The smell of freshly brewed coffee wrapped around you the moment you stepped inside the bookstore café, the warmth of it a stark contrast to the biting chill outside. You shifted your bag higher on your shoulder, guiding Lily toward an empty table near the window, where golden afternoon light streamed in.

She clutched her book to her chest, her small fingers curling around the edges of the worn cover like it was something precious. “Can I get a hot chocolate, Mummy?” she asked, peering up at you with wide eyes.

You smiled, smoothing down the flyaway curls at her temple. “Of course, love. Let’s get settled first, yeah?”

Balancing motherhood and work had turned you into an expert multitasker—or at least someone who tried very hard to be. You pulled out your laptop as Lily slid into the chair opposite you, already flipping through the pages of her book. The café was busy but cozy, the low hum of conversations blending with the clinking of mugs and the occasional flutter of a turned page.

This bookstore had quickly become your sanctuary—somewhere Lily could sink into stories while you answered emails or proofread articles. It was one of the few places where you could steal a moment of peace.

At least, until peace became a fleeting thing.

One second, Lily was happily stirring her hot chocolate, her lips moving as she silently read. The next, her elbow knocked against the cup, and the dark liquid sloshed over the rim, spilling onto her dress.

She froze.

You saw the panic flicker across her face before the wobble in her lip began.

“Oh, baby, it’s okay,” you soothed, immediately reaching for the napkins. “We’ll clean it up.”

But her breath hitched, and her eyes grew glassy, the embarrassment of it all outweighing any comfort you could offer. You could see it coming—the slow build to a meltdown in the middle of a crowded café.

And then, a voice—warm, steady.

“Need some help?”

You looked up.

The man standing beside your table held out a stack of napkins, his green eyes bright with amusement but softened by something kinder. His dark curls were pushed back from his face, a few strands stubbornly falling forward. There was a quiet confidence in the way he carried himself, dressed in a sweater that hugged his frame just right, sleeves pushed up to reveal inked skin.

Lily sniffled, her tiny hands twisting in the fabric of her stained dress.

Harry Styles.

You knew of him, in the way that people who lived in the same neighborhood knew of each other. The bookstore café was his, after all. You’d seen him before, in passing—restocking shelves, chatting with customers, sometimes with a little boy by his side. But you’d never spoken beyond polite nods and murmured thank-yous.

You hesitated before taking the napkins, flashing a quick, grateful smile. “Thank you. She’s just—”

“Having a rough go of it,” he finished, nodding. “Understandable. Hot chocolate tragedies are serious business.”

Lily blinked up at him, her lip still wobbling but her sniffles slowing.

Harry crouched beside her, a small smile playing at his lips. “I’ve got a spare jumper in the back—belongs to my son. I can grab it for you, if you’d like.”

Lily glanced at you for reassurance. You squeezed her small hand before nodding. “That’s very kind of you.”

“No trouble at all,” he said before disappearing into the back of the shop.

Lily fidgeted in her chair, picking at the hem of her dress. “I didn’t mean to spill,” she murmured.

“I know, sweetheart,” you said softly. “It was just an accident.”

Before you could say more, Harry returned, holding out a navy-blue sweater. It was slightly oversized, well-loved, the sleeves a little worn at the cuffs.

“Here we go,” he said, handing it to Lily. “Theo—my son—outgrows things faster than I can keep up with, so we always have extras.”

Lily took it, her small fingers brushing against the soft fabric. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Harry smiled, standing back up to his full height. His eyes flicked to you, something unreadable in his gaze. “No need to give it back. Consider it a gift from one hot chocolate lover to another.”

A beat of quiet passed between you, something unspoken lingering in the air.

You cleared your throat, breaking the moment. “That’s really thoughtful of you.”

He shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Part of the job.”

Lily tugged the sweater over her dress, the sleeves hanging past her fingers. You expected her to protest, but instead, she let out a small giggle, wiggling her arms. “It’s soft.”

Harry grinned. “Glad you approve.”

You exhaled, finally allowing the tension in your shoulders to ease. “Well, thank you again. We really appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” he said, giving a small nod before turning back toward the counter.

You watched him go, your fingers absently tapping against your coffee cup.

You weren’t sure why, but something about the moment stuck with you longer than it should have.

Maybe it was the ease of it, the way Harry had stepped in without hesitation, like it was second nature for him to help. Maybe it was the way he spoke to Lily—not as if she were just a child, but like her feelings mattered. Or maybe it was the simple fact that for the first time in a long while, someone had made your chaotic day feel just a little bit lighter.

You thought about it again a few days later as you sat on a bench at the park, the cool afternoon air crisp against your skin. Lily was somewhere nearby, her laughter carrying on the breeze, but your eyes were glued to the screen of your laptop, fingers tapping against the keyboard as you proofread an article on deadline.

“Just five more minutes, baby,” you murmured absently, knowing she probably wasn’t even listening.

It was one of those afternoons where time felt both endless and fleeting. The playground was buzzing with energy—kids climbing, running, the occasional squeal of excitement cutting through the air. You weren’t really paying attention, though, too caught up in work, too focused on making sure the words in front of you made sense.

A few benches away, Harry was doing much of the same.

Phone in hand, he paced a few steps back and forth, one hand in his pocket, the other holding the mobile to his ear. His brows were slightly furrowed, lips pressed together in that concentrated way people had when they were trying to remain patient on a frustrating call.

Neither of you noticed at first.

Neither of you saw them.

Lily and Theo.

Two tiny forces of nature, colliding without you even realizing it.

It wasn’t until a burst of laughter pulled your focus that you finally looked up.

Your gaze landed on Lily first, standing in the middle of the grass, her hands on her hips, head tilted back in giggles. Across from her, a little boy—a year or so older, dark curls peeking out from beneath a beanie—was laughing just as hard.

They were playing together.

You blinked, momentarily thrown, scanning the area for whoever the child belonged to.

Harry’s voice was still a low murmur as he spoke into the phone, but his eyes had landed on the same scene. His expression softened instantly, the stress from his call momentarily forgotten.

Theo.

You recognized the sweater immediately—the sweater. The same one Harry had given Lily after the hot chocolate incident. It was still too big on her, the sleeves hanging past her fingers, but that wasn’t stopping her from flapping her arms dramatically while Theo doubled over laughing.

It was oddly fascinating, watching them.

Lily, typically so shy around new kids, was standing toe-to-toe with Theo, chattering animatedly, completely unbothered by the fact that they’d only just met. Theo, for his part, looked just as amused, his eyes bright with mischief, like he’d already decided they were going to be best friends.

Your lips twitched into an involuntary smile.

It was… sweet.

Something in your periphery shifted, and you realized Harry was looking at you now.

There was a moment—an unspoken, quiet kind of moment—where neither of you said anything. Just sat there, watching your kids become friends without effort, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Harry’s phone was still at his ear, but whatever conversation he was having was clearly secondary now. He shook his head slightly, amused, before rubbing a hand along his jaw, his own smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Without thinking, you spoke.

“Well, this is convenient.”

Harry huffed a laugh, finally ending his call before slipping the phone into his pocket. “Guess they’re making the decisions for us now.”

You nodded toward them. “I take it Theo is the mastermind behind this plan?”

He smirked. “Oh, definitely. He’s got a talent for roping people into whatever ridiculous scheme he’s come up with.”

Lily’s laughter rang out again as Theo dramatically flopped onto the grass, pretending to faint over something she’d said.

You shook your head fondly. “I think Lily might have just met her match.”

“Looks that way,” Harry agreed, leaning back against the bench, his posture relaxed but his gaze still lingering on his son.

You let the silence stretch between you, comfortable in a way you didn’t expect.

It was a strange thing, this… whatever this was.

Before the café, Harry had been nothing more than a familiar face. A neighbor, a bookstore owner, someone you exchanged brief smiles with but never really knew.

Now, though—now, he was sitting next to you, watching your kids become fast friends, and somehow it didn’t feel like a coincidence at all.

Just as you were about to say something else, Lily ran up to you, breathless and grinning. “Mummy! Theo says he has a dog!”

Harry chuckled, clearly predicting where this was going.

“Not just a dog,” Theo corrected, running up beside her. “A really big dog.”

Lily’s eyes went wide. “Can I meet him?”

Harry shot you a look, brows raised in amusement. “You alright with that?”

You hesitated, caught between the natural urge to say no to anything spontaneous—and the realization that, maybe, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to say yes.

After all… maybe there were worse things than a little serendipity.

That thought lingered in your mind long after the park playdate, long after Lily had chattered endlessly about Theo’s “really big dog” and how she was convinced they needed one just like him.

It was still there a week later, tugging at the edges of your thoughts as you walked into the parents' meeting at Lily’s school.

You weren’t particularly looking forward to it—these things were always a mix of too much small talk and too many emails you’d later forget to reply to—but you showed up, because that’s what you did. You juggled deadlines and grocery lists and bedtime routines, and you showed up.

Sliding into one of the chairs near the back of the classroom, you pulled out your notebook, half-listening as the teacher welcomed everyone and started discussing upcoming class activities. The words blurred a little, your mind already jumping to your to-do list for the rest of the day—until a familiar voice cut through the hum of conversation beside you.

“Didn’t peg you for the back-row type.”

Your head turned sharply.

Harry.

Seated next to you, clad in a well-fitted jacket over a soft-looking jumper, casually sprawled in his chair like he wasn’t completely throwing off your focus. His green eyes flickered with amusement as he drummed his fingers lightly against the desk.

You blinked, momentarily thrown. “I—what?”

His lips twitched. “Back row. Feels like the kind of seat you pick if you’re planning to sneak out early.”

You huffed a quiet laugh. “Right, because I’m clearly a rebel parent.”

Harry smirked, but before he could respond, the teacher started explaining the logistics of an upcoming field trip, and the room quieted.

You tried to focus—you really did—but awareness prickled at you, your body attuned to the fact that Harry was right next to you.

It didn’t help that every now and then, you’d catch him glancing your way when the teacher said something mildly ridiculous, his expression just amused enough to make it harder to keep a straight face.

Or that when the topic of chaperones came up, Theo’s name was read out right before Lily’s, the realization settling between you with an unspoken of course they’re in the same class.

And maybe—just maybe—you didn’t miss the way Harry muttered a quiet figures under his breath, a slight shake of his head that made you bite back a smile.

By the time the meeting wrapped up, the teacher dismissing everyone with a reminder to sign up for volunteer slots, you were already gathering your things, ready to slip out—when Harry turned to you.

“Fancy a coffee?”

You froze for half a second.

It was a simple question. Harmless. A casual offer between two parents who, apparently, kept running into each other.

But something about the way he said it—the way his voice dipped just slightly, the way his eyes stayed steady on yours—made it feel less casual.

You hesitated.

And Harry, ever perceptive, caught it immediately. His posture shifted, something careful settling into his expression, like he wasn’t quite sure whether to push or back off.

“I mean,” he added, lightening his tone, “it’s just down the road. No pressure. Could be a good excuse to talk about how we’ve accidentally ended up with kids who seem hell-bent on becoming best friends.”

You swallowed, gripping the strap of your bag a little tighter.

It was tempting. So tempting.

And maybe, once upon a time, you wouldn’t have thought twice about saying yes.

But you weren’t that person anymore. You’d learned to be cautious. To tread carefully when it came to things that had the potential to turn into more than just casual conversation.

And Harry—whether he realized it or not—felt like exactly that kind of thing.

So you smiled, polite but firm. “I appreciate the offer, but I should really get back to work.”

Harry didn’t miss a beat. Didn’t let disappointment show, though something unreadable flickered in his gaze before he nodded, easy and unbothered. “Fair enough. Another time, maybe.”

You hummed, noncommittal.

But as you turned to leave, your heart did this stupid, traitorous thing—this little lurch in your chest—because something in you already knew that this wouldn’t be the last time.

And, of course, you were right.

Because one week later, you were standing on the pavement, clutching Lily’s small hand, rain drenching through your coat as you tried—and failed—not to look as exhausted as you felt.

It had been a long day.

A really long day.

Your babysitter had canceled last minute, leaving you with no choice but to bring Lily along to your late-afternoon client meeting. She’d been good—so good—sitting quietly at the café table, coloring in the pages of her book while you discussed article revisions and deadline extensions. But by the time you stepped out into the dimly lit street, the sky had split open, rain coming down in relentless sheets, and you were both soaked before you even had the chance to open your umbrella.

You exhaled, pressing your palm against your forehead as you attempted to flag down a taxi. No luck.

“Mummy,” Lily whined, shivering beside you. “I’m cold.”

Your heart clenched. “I know, baby. I’m trying—”

A honk cut through the downpour.

You turned toward the sound just as a familiar black Range Rover slowed beside you, the driver’s window rolling down.

Harry.

His curls were a little messy, his face dimly lit by the dashboard lights, one hand gripping the steering wheel as he leaned slightly toward the open window. His brows knitted together the second he took you in.

“Are you seriously walking home in this?”

You blinked against the rain. “I don’t exactly have a choice, Harry.”

He scoffed, already reaching for the unlock button. “Get in.”

You hesitated.

Not because you didn’t want to—you were cold and exhausted, and Lily was on the verge of full-body shivers—but because the last thing you needed was to owe someone anything. To let someone in, even if only for a car ride home.

Harry must have noticed the reluctance on your face because his tone softened. “Come on. No agenda. Just two parents helping each other out.”

Before you could argue, the back door swung open.

“Mummy! Theo’s in here!” Lily’s delighted voice rang out, already scrambling into the seat beside him.

You turned sharply—traitor!—but Lily was grinning, the excitement of seeing her new best friend completely overriding any of your hesitation.

You sighed, defeated. “Guess we’re getting in the car.”

Harry smirked. “Guess you are.”

You climbed into the passenger seat, the warmth of the car immediately soothing your frozen limbs. Your coat dripped against the leather as you fastened your seatbelt, and when Harry reached into the back and wordlessly handed you a hoodie—probably Theo’s again—you swallowed past the tightness in your throat before accepting it.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” He shifted the car into drive, glancing in the rearview mirror where the kids were already chatting excitedly. “Where to?”

You gave him your address, and he repeated it under his breath like he was committing it to memory.

The hum of the car filled the space between you for a moment, the rain drumming against the windshield. You were suddenly aware of how quiet it was in the front seat—how the easy banter you’d shared before wasn’t there now, replaced by something heavier.

“Long day?” Harry finally asked, his voice softer than before.

You exhaled. “You could say that.”

“I get it,” he murmured. “Some days just feel impossible.”

You turned to look at him, but his eyes stayed on the road, his fingers flexing against the steering wheel.

It would have been easy to nod and leave it at that.

But something about the way he said it—like he really did get it—made the words slip out before you could stop them.

“My babysitter bailed last minute,” you admitted. “Had to bring Lily to work with me. I know she didn’t mind, but it’s just… a lot, sometimes.”

Harry’s fingers tapped lightly against the wheel. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

A beat of silence.

Then—

“It’s just you and Lily, then?”

You hesitated. Not because it was a secret, but because it was one of those questions that carried weight, even if it was asked casually.

“Yeah,” you said finally. “Just us.”

Another pause. Then, quietly—

“Same. Just me and Theo.”

You glanced at him.

There was something different in his voice now, something laced with memory, something personal.

“What happened?” you asked gently.

He inhaled, long and slow. When he spoke, his voice was even, but you could hear the emotion beneath it.

“My wife—Theo’s mum—passed away a few years ago.”

Your chest tightened. “Harry, I—”

“You don’t have to say you’re sorry.” He exhaled, shaking his head slightly. “It was… unexpected. One day we were planning holidays, the next, I was trying to figure out how to be a single dad.”

Your fingers curled into the sleeves of the hoodie.

You weren’t sure why, but something about hearing him say it—acknowledging it so openly, without dramatics, without self-pity—hit you harder than you expected.

“I left,” you admitted softly.

Harry turned, brow furrowing. “Left?”

You swallowed. “Lily’s dad. I left him.”

Understanding flickered in his gaze, but he didn’t say anything. Just waited.

You let out a slow breath, focusing on the rain streaking against the glass. “It wasn’t… good. I knew if I stayed, it would only get worse. So I left.” A pause. “For her. For Lily.”

Harry didn’t ask for details. Didn’t push.

He just nodded, like that was enough. Like he understood more than he was saying.

The air in the car was heavier now, but not uncomfortable. It wasn’t pity, wasn’t awkward sympathy. It was just two people, two parents, who had both lost something. Who were still finding their way forward.

When the car finally pulled up in front of your building, you turned to him, fingers hovering over the door handle.

“Thank you,” you said, meaning it more than you expected.

Harry met your gaze, something steady and unreadable in his expression. “Anytime.”

And as you climbed out, leading Lily inside, you realized that maybe—just maybe—this wasn’t the last time, either.

And again, you were right.

Because the universe—or fate, or whatever force kept weaving Harry into your life—wasn’t quite done with you yet.

It started as a normal evening. A school event—one of those midwinter, PTA-sponsored gatherings where the kids were running on pure sugar-fueled excitement, and the parents were running on nothing but caffeine and obligation.

You had barely stepped inside the decorated gymnasium when Lily had spotted Theo, the two of them taking off toward the craft station without so much as a backward glance.

“Yeah, sure, don’t say goodbye,” you muttered, exhaling as you peeled off your coat and shoved your gloves into your bag.

“You get used to it.”

Your stomach dipped at the sound of his voice.

You turned to find Harry standing beside you, shaking snow out of his curls, his jacket dusted with white. He looked unfairly good for someone who had just come in from the cold—cheeks flushed, green eyes bright with amusement as he nodded toward the kids.

“First time they ditch you, it stings,” he continued, smirking. “By the hundredth time, you stop taking it personally.”

You huffed a laugh, rolling your eyes. “Good to know.”

For a while, the event played out exactly as expected—parents milling around making polite small talk, kids crafting messy holiday decorations that would inevitably end up forgotten at the bottom of their backpacks.

You kept an eye on Lily, but she and Theo were perfectly entertained, alternating between cookie decorating and attempting to build a fort out of the chairs in the corner of the room.

And then, just as you were considering sneaking off to the refreshment table for a refill on your coffee, the first announcement crackled through the speaker system.

A snowstorm.

A bad one.

Roads already piling up, traffic at a standstill. Everyone advised to stay put until further notice.

A slow, collective groan moved through the crowd.

You exhaled sharply, rubbing your fingers over your temples.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Beside you, Harry let out a low whistle. “Guess we’re stuck here for a while.”

You turned to him, narrowing your eyes. “You sound entirely too relaxed about this.”

He smirked. “Because I’ve accepted my fate.” He nodded toward Theo and Lily, who were thriving in the chaos, currently attempting to organize some kind of group game. “They, on the other hand, are living their best lives.”

You sighed, watching as Lily excitedly gestured for Theo to follow her to the makeshift play area.

“Traitor,” you muttered under your breath.

Harry chuckled. “Come on,” he said, nodding toward an empty classroom that had been opened up as an extra seating area. “Might as well find somewhere to sit before we’re reduced to standing in the hallway.”

You followed him, grateful for the momentary escape from the crowded gym.

The classroom was small, with a handful of desks pushed against the walls. Harry dropped into one of the chairs, stretching his legs out in front of him, while you settled into the seat beside him, cradling your coffee cup between your palms.

For a moment, there was nothing but the muffled sound of voices from the hallway, the occasional scrape of a chair from another room.

And then—

“So,” Harry mused, glancing sideways at you. “On a scale from mild to intervention-level dependency, how bad is your caffeine addiction?”

You blinked at him. “Excuse me?”

He nodded toward your cup, smirking. “That’s, what, your third coffee tonight?”

You scoffed. “Second, actually. And I’ll have you know that my caffeine intake is perfectly normal.”

He hummed, unconvinced. “Sure.”

You narrowed your eyes. “I bet you have a thing too, don’t you?”

His brows raised. “A thing?”

“Yes. Some habit or vice you’re embarrassingly reliant on.” You smirked. “Let me guess—you’re a late-night snacker.”

Harry scoffed, shaking his head. “Not even close.”

You tapped your chin, pretending to consider. “Okay. Chronic over-user of pet names?”

His lips twitched. “I mean, love, I do have a tendency—”

You groaned. “Oh, that checks out.”

Harry grinned, his dimples deepening. “You got me.”

For a moment, the conversation settled into something easy, the banter light, playful. And you—despite the exhaustion, despite the long night ahead—felt…

Good.

Harry shifted slightly, watching you. “You’re smiling.”

Your brows furrowed. “I am?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his voice quieter now. “It’s nice.”

And that—that small, simple sentence—made something tighten in your chest.

Because Harry wasn’t flirting. He wasn’t teasing.

He was just… noticing.

And for the first time in a long time, you felt truly seen.

You cleared your throat, looking away, focusing on the rim of your cup. “Don’t get used to it.”

Harry chuckled, but didn’t press.

You sat there for a little while longer, the room quieter than the ones beyond it, but filled with something else.

Something unspoken.

Something that felt an awful lot like anticipation.

That’s what had been simmering under the surface ever since that snowed-in night at the school.

You told yourself it was nothing—that it was just the circumstances, the way you’d both been forced into conversation, the way time had slowed just enough for you to forget that Harry Styles was not supposed to be part of your life in any meaningful way.

But then came Saturday.

And Saturday ruined everything.

It had been Lily’s idea to go to the bookstore café, but you didn’t exactly fight her on it.

You could pretend all you wanted, but the truth was, you liked it there. The smell of coffee, the cozy chairs tucked between shelves, the soft murmur of people flipping through books—it was one of the few places in the city where your brain actually slowed down for a moment.

So, you’d packed up your laptop, bundled Lily in her coat, and headed down the familiar street, telling yourself that Harry might not even be working today. That it wouldn’t mean anything if you ran into him.

And then you walked inside, and he was right there.

Behind the counter, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, laughing at something one of his employees had said before turning at just the right moment—seeing you.

His eyes brightened. “Look who it is.”

Your stomach flipped. Stupid. Completely ridiculous.

“Hi, Harry.” You cleared your throat, pushing past the way his smile made your chest feel tight. “Busy today?”

“Not too bad.” He leaned against the counter. “Here for your fix?”

You scoffed, already setting your bag down on the edge. “I’ll have you know I went an entire day without coffee yesterday.”

Harry placed a hand over his heart, mock-surprised. “I don’t believe you.”

You rolled your eyes, but Lily was less focused on your caffeine consumption and more on the glass case filled with pastries.

Harry caught her staring, smirking. “Hungry, love?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

“Well, lucky for you, I’ve got some fresh croissants that need a home.” He grabbed a plate and slid two onto it before adding, “On the house.”

You immediately shook your head. “Harry, you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he said simply, then met your gaze. “Stay. Sit down for a bit.”

It wasn’t a request. It wasn’t loaded with anything, wasn’t flirtatious or heavy.

It was just… easy.

So you stayed.

You found a table near the window, sipping your coffee while Lily and Theo—who had conveniently appeared out of nowhere—settled on the floor nearby with a pile of books between them.

And somehow, Harry ended up in the chair across from you.

It wasn’t intentional. At least, you told yourself it wasn’t.

It was just conversation—banter, sarcasm, Lily’s constant interruptions to tell you random facts about the book she was reading.

And then… it wasn’t.

Because at some point, the edges of the conversation softened.

At some point, you started talking about things that weren’t just surface-level.

At some point, he told you about the bookstore—how it had started as a risk, how he wasn’t sure if it would work, but he’d wanted Theo to have a place to grow up around stories.

And at some point, you found yourself telling him about your writing, about the way you’d stumbled into freelancing after leaving your old life behind, about how sometimes, you missed the structure of an office, but mostly, you liked this. The freedom. The control over your own world.

Harry had listened.

Really listened.

And then he’d said something—something about how he admired that, about how he could see how much you’d built for yourself.

And that’s when it happened.

That’s when you realized.

This feels like a date.

The realization hit like a punch to the ribs.

Because it wasn’t a date. It couldn’t be.

You weren’t dating. You weren’t even thinking about dating. That wasn’t part of your life anymore, wasn’t something you could afford to let yourself want.

And yet—

You were sitting across from a man who made you feel like maybe it was.

A man who made it easy. Who made you laugh, who made you forget to keep your guard up, who looked at you in a way that made you feel like more than just a tired mother balancing a thousand things at once.

And that—that—was terrifying.

So, before he could say anything else, before you could let yourself sit in the moment for even a second longer, you panicked.

You shot up from your chair so fast Harry’s brows furrowed.

“I should go,” you blurted, already reaching for your bag.

Harry blinked. “What?”

You forced a smile. “I just—Lily has a lot of homework, and I need to—”

Harry wasn’t stupid.

You could see the confusion in his expression, the way his body tensed just slightly, the way his fingers curled around his mug like he was trying to figure out where the shift had happened.

But he didn’t push.

He just nodded, slow and careful, like he was trying to let you run if you needed to.

Lily pouted as you grabbed her hand, but she didn’t argue.

Harry said goodbye to her, ruffled Theo’s hair, then glanced back at you just once before you pushed open the door and stepped out into the cold.

And as you walked away—your heart pounding, your hands trembling—you told yourself you’d done the right thing.

You told yourself that leaving was better.

That letting him get too close would only make things harder.

You told yourself all of that.

And yet—

It didn’t stop you from feeling like you’d just made a mistake.

In fact, it only made it worse.

The whole way home, Lily kept glancing up at you, brows furrowed in confusion, like she knew something had happened but couldn’t quite figure out what. And the next morning, when she asked if you were going back to the bookstore soon, you’d mumbled something noncommittal, changed the subject, and buried yourself in work.

For days, you convinced yourself you’d done the right thing. That putting space between you and Harry was necessary. That whatever this strange, unexpected thing was between you—it wasn’t real.

But while you were busy trying to ignore it, two small, scheming masterminds were doing the exact opposite.

“I think my dad likes your mum.”

Theo’s voice was quiet, but not that quiet.

Lily, crouched beside him under the slide at the park, frowned. “I know.”

Theo blinked. “You do?”

Lily gave him a look, as if obviously. “He always smiles when she’s around. And he looks at her like my teacher looks at her coffee.”

Theo squinted. “Like he needs her?”

“Exactly.”

Theo leaned back, lips pursed in thought. “Well, that’s a problem.”

Lily nodded gravely. “Because my mum likes your dad, too.”

Theo’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Lily huffed, crossing her arms. “But she’s scared.”

Theo considered this, chewing on his lip. Then, slowly, a smirk stretched across his face.

“Well, that just means we have to fix it.”

Lily narrowed her eyes. “How?”

Theo grinned. “Leave that to me.”

You should have known something was up when Lily had asked—too sweetly—if you wanted to take her to the park that weekend.

You should have been suspicious when she mentioned, offhandedly, that Theo had told her he and Harry were going to be there at the same time.

But you—naive, unsuspecting, and still drowning in your own avoidance—had just gone along with it.

Which was exactly how you ended up here.

Standing at the edge of the field, watching as Theo and Lily cackled like tiny villains, while Harry—completely unaware of their plot—ran around playing soccer with them.

And you?

You were helpless.

Because, despite everything, despite every wall you had thrown up, despite every reason you had to keep your distance—you couldn’t look away.

Harry looked happy.

Really, truly happy.

His dimples were deep, his laughter loud and unrestrained. His curls were a mess from the wind, cheeks flushed from the cold, eyes crinkling at the corners as he dodged Theo’s attempt to steal the ball.

And Lily?

She looked just as free.

She wasn’t shy, wasn’t hesitating—she was grinning, giggling so hard that she tripped, falling right into Harry’s arms as he caught her mid-stumble.

And that—that moment—was what did it.

Because when Harry steadied her, ruffling her hair before sending her off again, you felt something click.

Something shift.

And suddenly, the thought you had been pushing away for weeks broke through like a crack in the dam, relentless and impossible to ignore.

This could be something.

Something good. Something real. Something you weren’t sure you were ready for—but something you didn’t want to run from anymore.

Because, maybe…

Maybe it wasn’t just serendipity.

Maybe it was something that was supposed to happen all along.

That thought followed you home. It followed you through dinner, through Lily’s animated retelling of her very official soccer victory, through the quiet moments when she was curled up in bed, her breathing slow and even.

And it followed you long after that, settling in your chest, stubborn and impossible to ignore.

Because you knew what you had to do.

So, the next afternoon, after too much pacing and too much overthinking, you found yourself standing outside the bookstore café, heart hammering as you pushed open the door.

Harry was behind the counter, sleeves rolled up, a pencil tucked behind his ear as he scanned the inventory list in front of him. He looked focused, but the second he glanced up and saw you, something flickered across his face—something cautious.

You swallowed. Right. You did that.

Taking a breath, you stepped forward. “Can we talk?”

He set the clipboard down, wiping his hands on a cloth before nodding toward the back. “Come on.”

You followed him past the bookshelves, through a small hallway that led to a quieter seating area. It was dimly lit, quieter than the front of the shop, and suddenly, this felt very real.

Harry turned to you, arms crossed, waiting.

You exhaled. “I—I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

His brows furrowed slightly, but he didn’t interrupt.

You forced yourself to meet his gaze. “For running. For… whatever that was.” You sighed, rubbing your hands over your jeans. “I got scared.”

His expression didn’t change, but something in his posture shifted. A quiet understanding settling between you.

“I get it,” he said finally. “But I need to know where your head is at, Y/N.” His voice was even, steady. “Because I don’t do games. I don’t do halfway.”

You swallowed, throat tight.

“I know.”

He stepped closer, eyes never leaving yours. “So, what do you want?”

You hesitated, heart pounding.

But then, you thought about Lily—your Lily. Thought about how effortlessly she had let Theo in, how much brighter she had been since meeting him.

And then, you thought about yourself.

About the way Harry made you laugh. About the way he looked at you—like you weren’t just a mother, just a woman who had learned how to live cautiously, but someone he saw.

And suddenly, the answer wasn’t scary anymore.

“I want to try,” you whispered.

Harry’s shoulders relaxed. His jaw unclenched. And then, slowly, carefully, he stepped forward.

His fingers reached out, brushing a damp strand of hair from your face. “Yeah?”

You nodded, exhaling shakily. “Yeah.”

His lips quirked, but he didn’t say anything.

He just leaned in.

The kiss was soft.

Lingering.

Like it was meant to happen.

And maybe…

Maybe it was.

Maybe it had always been leading to this. To a quiet evening, to wine and laughter and the slow, inevitable pull of something neither of you could ignore any longer.

You weren’t supposed to end up at Harry’s place that night. It had started with dinner—just a casual thing, an unspoken agreement that whatever was growing between you should have space to exist outside of fleeting moments and bookstore conversations.

The kids had been there, of course. It wasn’t a date. It wasn’t something you had planned.

But it had felt easy.

Effortless, even.

Like the four of you were already slipping into place, like Theo rolling his eyes at Lily’s terrible knock-knock jokes was as natural as Harry stealing a bite of food off your plate, smirking when you swatted at him.

And then, somehow, it had stretched later than expected.

The kids had curled up on the couch, movie playing softly in the background, their laughter slowly fading into soft, steady breaths.

And then—

Then it was just you and Harry.

Alone.

A glass of wine, the fire crackling softly in the background.

Your legs tucked under you as you sat on the couch, warmth settling in your limbs—not just from the wine, but from this. From him.

Harry leaned back, fingers tapping against his glass. “So.”

You raised a brow. “So?”

He smirked. “Are we still pretending this isn’t happening?”

Your breath hitched.

Because this.

This was happening.

The easy way he watched you. The way your body tilted toward him without thinking. The way you felt calm here, in his space, in this moment.

You exhaled, heart hammering as you set your wine down.

“I don’t want to pretend,” you admitted.

Harry studied you for a long moment. Then, slowly, he set his glass aside, shifting closer.

And when he leaned in—when he brushed his lips against yours, just barely, just enough to give you a chance to stop this—you didn’t.

You pressed closer.

And finally, finally, you let yourself fall.

Right into him. Right into the warmth of his hands, the steady press of his mouth, the way he didn’t hesitate when you kissed him back.

It was slow at first, unhurried and exploratory, like you were both learning something new—even though this had been building for months. Even though the tension between you had been simmering, bubbling over in every stolen glance, every playful smirk, every time he looked at you like he knew exactly what you were trying to hide.

And now, you weren’t hiding anymore.

His hands found your waist, fingers curling into the fabric of your sweater, dragging you in until you were flush against him. He was so warm, the solid weight of his chest pressing into yours, his scent intoxicating—something woody, something clean, something completely Harry.

You let out a soft gasp when he tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his tongue brushing over yours in a slow, teasing stroke.

That sound—it did something to him.

Because suddenly, his grip tightened.

And then, you were moving.

He guided you backward until your lower back hit the edge of the kitchen counter. You barely had time to process the cool surface against your skin before his hands were everywhere—sliding beneath your sweater, mapping the curves of your waist, the dip of your spine, his fingers pressing just firmly enough to make you arch into him.

“Harry—”

He groaned at the way you said his name, his lips never leaving yours as he lifted you onto the counter, spreading your thighs as he stepped between them.

And that was it.

That was the moment everything tipped over the edge.

Because then, Harry was everywhere.

His mouth was hot and insistent against your neck, dragging down, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your collarbone, nipping at your skin just enough to make you whimper.

“Been thinking about this for so long,” he murmured against your throat, his voice thick, husky, wrecked.

Your breath hitched. “Me too.”

He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze. His eyes were dark, blown-out, his chest rising and falling as he scanned your face. Checking. Waiting.

You exhaled, chest tight, lips swollen from his kisses.

“I want this, Harry.” Your voice was quiet but firm. “I want you.”

Something in him snapped.

And then, he gave you exactly what you asked for.

And then, he gave you exactly what you asked for.

But not in the way you expected.

Because for all the urgency—the heat, the months of unresolved tension stretching between you—Harry didn’t rush.

He kissed you slowly, deliberately, his hands steady as they traced the outline of your body, as if he were memorizing you. Like he wanted to savor every second.

And when he finally lifted you into his arms, carrying you effortlessly through the dimly lit hallway, you didn’t protest. Didn’t question it.

You just let yourself be his.

The bedroom was dark, moonlight pooling in through the window, the sheets cool against your back when he laid you down.

And for a moment—just a moment—Harry didn’t move.

He just looked at you.

His green eyes flickered over your face, your parted lips, the way your chest rose and fell beneath him. His fingers skimmed up your thigh, teasing, light enough to make you shiver, before he leaned down, his lips hovering just over yours.

"You’re beautiful," he murmured. "You know that, right?"

Your breath caught.

Because it wasn’t a line.

He wasn’t trying to seduce you. He wasn’t saying it just to say it.

He meant it.

And you could feel yourself unraveling beneath him.

"Harry—"

But your words cut off when he kissed you again, deeper this time, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of your sweater, tugging it up, peeling it off with aching slowness.

His hands traced over your bare skin, up your ribcage, over the dip of your waist. His touch was reverent, patient—like he wanted to learn every inch of you, every soft sound you made when he touched you just right.

Your hands were just as desperate, fingers threading into his curls, tugging lightly as you pressed up into him.

He groaned, breaking the kiss just long enough to yank off his own shirt, tossing it aside before meeting your gaze again.

You exhaled sharply, taking him in.

The tattoos you had only glimpsed before, now completely on display—the swallows over his chest, the butterfly below his ribs, the intricate designs that inked his arms, his stomach, his strong, solid frame.

And then, he kissed you again.

Slower this time. Deeper.

His mouth trailed lower, over your collarbone, down the valley between your breasts, his fingers working at the button of your jeans, slipping them down, kissing along every inch of newly exposed skin.

When his lips met the inside of your thigh, you gasped—gasped, because he was so close to where you needed him, but still taking his damn time.

"Harry—"

"Shh," he murmured, pressing a kiss higher, his stubble scratching deliciously against your sensitive skin. "Let me take my time with you, love."

And then, he did.

He kissed his way up your thighs, parting them further, his hands gripping your hips as his mouth finally—finally—pressed against you.

You gasped, back arching, fingers tangling into the sheets as he licked into you, slow and deliberate, like he was savoring every reaction, every sound that spilled from your lips.

"Fuck," you choked out, hips jerking involuntarily.

He hummed, the vibration sending another wave of pleasure through you as his tongue flicked exactly where you needed it, his hands holding you open, steadying you, grounding you.

And when he slipped a finger inside you—just one, at first, then another, curling them perfectly— you nearly came undone.

Your body tightened, the pleasure mounting too fast, too intense, and you could feel it—feel yourself teetering on the edge.

"That’s it," Harry murmured against you, his voice thick with lust and admiration. "Let go for me, love."

And you did.

Your orgasm ripped through you, waves of pleasure rolling through every inch of your body as your hips jerked against his mouth, his tongue not relenting—**not even for a second—**as he worked you through it, letting you fall apart completely.

By the time he finally pulled back, his lips were wet, his pupils blown, his expression completely wrecked.

"You taste fucking perfect," he rasped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before leaning over you again, caging you in beneath him.

You were still shaking, still catching your breath, but you wanted more.

You needed more.

"Harry—"

He kissed you before you could finish, swallowing your words as he kicked off his jeans, rolling his hips against yours, letting you feel how hard he was for you.

And then, finally, he lined himself up, pausing—just for a second.

His forehead pressed against yours, his breathing uneven.

"You okay?" he murmured, voice ragged.

"Yes," you breathed. "I want you."

That was all he needed.

And then, he pushed inside you.

A broken sound tore from his throat the second he was buried in you—deep, slow, perfect.

And you—fuck, you felt everything.

The stretch, the fullness, the delicious ache of him sinking into you, inch by inch, until he was completely inside you.

"Fuck," he groaned, his jaw clenching, his hands gripping your hips so tightly.

He didn’t move at first. Just stayed there, letting you adjust, letting you feel him.

And then—

Then he pulled out, just enough before thrusting back in, deeper this time.

You gasped, fingers digging into his back, clinging to him.

It was slow at first. Deep and unhurried. Like he wanted to memorize you, like he wanted you to feel all of him.

But then—

Then you moaned his name.

And everything changed.

Harry growled, his grip tightening, his pace picking up, thrusting harder, faster, deeper.

"Fuck, Y/N—" His voice was wrecked, his body pressing you into the mattress, claiming you, ruining you.

And you—you didn’t care.

You wanted to be ruined.

You wanted all of him.

His hand slipped between you, fingers finding your clit, rubbing tight circles that sent shockwaves through you.

"You gonna come again for me, love?" he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear.

"Yes—Harry—fuck—"

"That’s it," he groaned. "Come for me."

And you did.

You shattered around him, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave, your entire body trembling as he followed right after, burying himself deep, spilling inside you, groaning your name like a prayer.

For a long moment, the room was filled with nothing but harsh breathing, racing heartbeats, the aftermath of something that felt inevitable.

And then, Harry moved.

He didn’t pull away. Didn’t let you go.

He just wrapped himself around you, holding you close, pressing a kiss to your damp temple.

"Stay," he murmured, voice soft, tender.

And this time—

You didn’t run.

The smell of coffee woke you before the sunlight did.

Your body was aching in the best way, muscles deliciously sore, the sheets warm and soft against your skin. For a moment, you just laid there, blinking slowly, listening to the faint sounds of movement coming from beyond the bedroom door.

And then you realized.

You weren’t alone.

Not in the way you used to be.

Not in the way that had felt permanent for so long.

You exhaled, stretching slightly before sitting up, pulling the duvet tighter around you.

Harry’s shirt—which you had shamelessly stolen off the floor at some point during the night—hung loosely around your shoulders, smelling like him, feeling like him.

You pushed the bedroom door open quietly, stepping into the hall, and followed the sound of voices into the kitchen.

And the sight that greeted you?

It nearly knocked the breath from your lungs.

Harry stood at the stove, clad in nothing but a pair of low-hanging sweatpants, a spatula in one hand, a coffee cup in the other.

And he wasn’t alone.

Theo and Lily sat at the kitchen island, chattering away, their legs swinging as they watched him flip pancakes.

Theo snickered. “That one’s burnt.”

Harry scoffed, dramatically flipping it onto a plate. “It’s golden brown, thank you very much.”

Lily giggled. “Theo says you always burn the first one.”

Harry smirked. “Well, your mum distracted me.”

At that, you cleared your throat.

Three heads turned toward you in unison.

Theo and Lily grinned.

Harry’s eyes flickered over you—his shirt swallowing your frame, your bare legs peeking out from underneath.

And then, slowly, he smirked.

“What?” you asked, fighting back a smile.

His dimples deepened. “You like seeing me in dad mode?”

You rolled your eyes, stepping forward to grab a mug from the counter. “I think I just like seeing you.”

Harry stilled for half a second.

And then, with zero warning, he was behind you—wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to the side of your neck.

Your breath hitched. “Harry—”

“Get used to it, love,” he murmured against your skin.

Your heart stumbled.

And suddenly, you knew.

This was real.

This was yours.

And for the first time in a long, long time…

You weren’t afraid.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like ❤️‍🔥

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[bettys-redwinesupernova]

FAVOURITE CRIME

rafe cameron x fem!routledge!reader

(reader has NO specific appearance and can be john b’s adopted sister, nothing is specified !!)

SUMMARY: trapped in a deadly chase through the desert, y/n kills to save rafe—forcing them to confront love, heartbreak, and the ghosts of their past.

based on this ask !! i hope this is what you asked for anon, and i hope you enjoy it :) i kinda’ made it very angsty and emotional because that’s always been my strong suit when writing <3

(check out my other rafe cameron & drew starkey works here !!)

WARNINGS: murder (reader stabs a mercenary), detailed descriptions of blood, death, guns, mild dissociation/panic attack, cursing, angst (LOTS) w/ a soft ending, season 4 finale spoilers (but a slight twist from the actual plot of the episode), exes to lovers, mentions of peterkin’s murder, slight suicidal ideation from rafe (?). (lmk if i missed anything !!)

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

THIRD PERSON +

The desert wind howled, whipping up sand in violent gusts as the group pressed forward. The air was thick with tension, the weight of the past few days—weeks, even—settling on their shoulders like an unbearable burden. The heat was suffocating, the air dry enough to sting their throats with every breath.

Y/N’s pulse hammered in her ears, her feet stumbling over uneven terrain as she clutched the scarf tighter to her face. Every muscle in her body ached, exhaustion clawing at her limbs, but there was no time to stop. Not with the Corsairs chasing them. Not with the Blue Crown so close.

She stole a glance over her shoulder. John B was leading the way, his jaw clenched with determination. Sarah was beside him, gripping a makeshift weapon she’d picked up along the way. JJ, Kie, Pope and Cleo were just behind, moving as fast as they could despite the relentless sandstorm threatening to swallow them whole.

And then there was Rafe.

Even in the chaos, she couldn’t stop her eyes from finding him. His buzzed head was covered with sweat and dust, his face smeared with dirt and blood, but his expression was the same as always—intense, unreadable. They had spent the last year avoiding each other, exchanging nothing but bitter glares and harsh words when absolutely necessary. The memories of their past still clung to her, threatening to pull her under if she let them.

They had loved each other once. Maybe, deep down, they still did. But too much had happened. Too many betrayals, too many scars.

And now, none of it mattered. They had bigger problems.

A sudden, sharp noise split through the wind—a gunshot.

“Shit,” JJ swore, ducking instinctively as the bullet kicked up sand nearby.

“They’re gaining on us!” Kie shouted over the storm.

Y/N’s stomach twisted. They couldn’t outrun them forever. The Corsairs had numbers on their side, and they were relentless.

“We need to move faster!” John B barked, urging them on.

But before they could take another step, Rafe suddenly stopped, turning to face the chaos behind them.

“What the hell are you doing?” Y/N demanded, her voice raw from the sand and exhaustion.

“I’ll buy you time,” Rafe said, already moving toward the oncoming threat.

Her stomach dropped. “No. No, Rafe, we all have to get out of here—”

“You need to go,” he cut her off, his voice firm. “I’ll catch up.”

She hated him. She hated how easily he could make these decisions, how recklessly he threw himself into danger. She hated how, despite everything, her heart still clenched at the thought of something happening to him.

“Rafe—”

“Go, Y/N!”

The look in his eyes was final.

Her heart pounded as she watched him disappear into the storm, his silhouette fading into the swirling sand. The others hesitated only a second longer before John B grabbed her arm.

“Come on!”

Her feet moved on instinct, forcing herself to turn away, to follow the others. But her mind was screaming at her, every part of her telling her to stop.

She was furious at him. She was furious at herself.

But she couldn’t leave him.

Not like this.

Y/N broke away from the group before she could second-guess it, ignoring her brothers shouts as she turned back.

The wind howled around her, sand biting at her skin as she stumbled forward. She could barely see more than a few feet ahead, but she pushed on, heart hammering against her ribs.

Then she saw him.

Rafe was fighting one of the Corsairs, his movements fast but desperate. The mercenary was bigger, stronger, and he was winning.

Y/N watched in horror as the man tackled Rafe to the ground, pinning him down. Rafe struggled, his breaths coming in ragged gasps as he fought to break free, but the Corsair had him. The knife in the man’s hand glinted in the dim, dusty light, aimed straight for Rafe’s throat.

And before she even realised what she was doing, she moved.

Time slowed as she grabbed the discarded weapon from the sand—her fingers curling around the cold steel. She had never done this before. Never even considered it. But Rafe’s choked gasp, the raw panic in his eyes, made her body act before her mind could stop her.

She lunged.

The blade sank in.

The mercenary stiffened, his grip on Rafe loosening as a strangled gargle escaped his lips, followed by the maroon liquid. Y/N barely registered the warm, sticky blood that coated her hands, her breath catching in her throat.

The man collapsed.

For a moment, all she could do was stare.

Her hands were shaking, her pulse roaring in her ears. The reality of what she had done hit her like a tidal wave.

She had killed him.

She had never—

A broken gasp tore from her lips.

“Y/N—”

She barely heard Rafe’s voice over the storm.

Her chest heaved, her vision swimming. The blood. The weight of the knife still in her grip.

What had she done?

A rough hand grabbed her wrist, jolting her back to reality. She blinked, eyes snapping to Rafe. His expression was unreadable, but there was something there—something she couldn’t decipher.

“We have to go,” he said, his voice quieter than before.

Her breath was still ragged, her body locked in place.

“Y/N.”

She looked at him. Really looked at him. And for the first time in a long time, all the anger, all the bitterness between them faded into something else. Something raw. Something terrifying.

He was still alive because of her.

She had done this for him.

She swallowed hard, nodding as she forced herself to move.

They ran.

The desert stretched out before them, the storm still raging, but it didn’t matter. They had to keep going.

The others were waiting. The crown was waiting.

—

The cold was a sharp contrast to the suffocating heat they had just endured. It was almost as if the universe had decided that after the chaos of the storm, they were all entitled to some semblance of relief. But for Y/N, the coolness that surrounded her now did nothing to ease the fire that raged inside her chest. It wasn’t just the physical exhaustion; it was the emotional weight of what she had done. What she had to have done.

The group had found shelter in an old, abandoned structure, a weathered building that seemed as though it had been untouched for decades. The walls were cracked, and the remnants of long-forgotten furniture lay in disarray, but it was a temporary haven. There were no Corsairs chasing them, no more sandstorms to blind them. For the first time in what felt like forever, they could breathe, even if it felt like the weight of the world was pressing down on Y/N’s lungs.

The howling sandstorm raged outside, but at least in here, they were safe—physically, at least.

Mentally? Emotionally? She was anything but.

The others were scattered around the shelter, catching their breath, murmuring in hushed voices. She vaguely registered JJ cursing under his breath as he checked his wounds, Sarah whispering something to John B, Kie pacing near the entrance. But none of it fully reached her. The weight of what had just happened was pressing down on her, suffocating her.

She could still feel the knife in her hands. Could still see the moment the blade had sunk into the mercenaries neck, the way the man had stiffened, the way his eyes had gone vacant.

Her stomach twisted violently.

She wasn’t a killer.

But she had killed.

For him.

A few feet away, Rafe sat against the opposite wall, arms braced on his knees, his face turned away. He hadn’t said anything since they had run. Since she had saved him.

She should have been relieved that he was still breathing. That the mercenary hadn’t been the one to walk away. But all she felt was hollow.

Her hands trembled as she looked down at them, still stained with dried blood. Her breath hitched, her throat tightening. She needed to get it off. She needed it gone.

Before she could move, though, Rafe’s voice cut through the heavy silence between them.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

It was quiet. Barely more than a whisper. But it sent a jolt through her, snapping her head up.

Her eyes met his.

He was looking at her now, his blue eyes dark with something unreadable. He looked… haunted.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she breathed.

Rafe exhaled sharply, running a hand through his dust-covered hair. “I told you to go, Y/N.”

“And what? Just leave you there to die?” she snapped.

“You shouldn’t have had to—”

“I had to.”

Her voice cracked, the weight of it all suddenly crushing down on her.

“You think I wanted to do that?” Her breathing was ragged, her chest heaving. “You think I wanted—wanted to—”

She couldn’t say it.

She couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

Rafe’s jaw clenched, his fingers digging into his knees. “You’re not like me, Y/N. You don’t—you don’t do shit like this.”

“Yeah?” She let out a hollow laugh, her eyes burning. “Well, I did.”

His gaze darkened.

“You made me like this,” she whispered.

Rafe flinched.

“You made me like this,” she repeated, stronger this time. “Because of you, I did something I can’t take back. Something I—” She sucked in a sharp breath, her fingers curling into fists. “You ruined me, Rafe.”

His face twisted, something breaking in his expression.

“You think I wanted this?” he shot back, his voice suddenly raw. “You think I wanted you to—”

“Then why do you always do this?” she cut him off. “Why do you throw yourself into danger like you don’t give a damn? Like your life doesn’t matter?”

Rafe’s lips parted, but nothing came out.

“Do you even care if you die?” she demanded, her voice rising. “Because it sure as hell doesn’t seem like it!”

Rafe stood suddenly, crossing the space between them in two long strides.

“Of course I fucking care!” he yelled, his voice echoing off the stone walls.

“Then act like it!”

Their faces were inches apart now, both of them breathing heavily. The tension was thick, suffocating.

“You don’t get to be mad at me for saving your life,” she hissed, her hands shaking at her sides. “You don’t get to make me feel bad for it.”

Rafe let out a bitter laugh, running his hands over his face. “Jesus Christ, Y/N, you don’t get it, do you?”

“Then make me get it, Rafe!” she shouted. “Because I swear to God, I—”

“Because I can’t fucking lose you!”

Silence crashed over them like a tidal wave.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Rafe stared at her, his chest heaving, his blue eyes wide and desperate. “I can’t—I can’t do this if something happens to you. If you—if you die because of me—” His voice cracked, and he shook his head, his expression crumbling. “I can’t, Y/N.”

Her heart clenched painfully.

“You were never supposed to be a part of this,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “I never wanted you mixed up in my shit, never wanted you to—” He exhaled shakily, his hands clenching at his sides. “And then I lost you, and I thought—”

Y/N swallowed hard, her throat tight.

“You didn’t lose me,” she murmured.

His eyes snapped to hers.

“You left me,” she whispered. “You did that to yourself.”

Rafe’s face twisted in pain.

“I should hate you,” she said, her voice trembling. “I want to hate you. After everything you did to my family, after everything you put me through—”

A single tear slipped down her cheek.

“But I don’t.”

She let out a shaky breath.

“I still love you, Rafe.”

It felt like the world stopped.

Rafe inhaled sharply, his entire body going rigid.

“I hate that I do,” she admitted, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I hate that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I tell myself I should let you go—I can’t.”

A broken sound escaped Rafe’s lips.

His hand lifted—hesitant at first—but then he cupped her face, his thumb brushing over the tear-streaked skin.

“Y/N/N,” he breathed, his voice wrecked.

And then he kissed her.

It wasn’t soft.

It wasn’t sweet.

It was desperate.

It was everything they had been holding back for months, for over a year.

Y/N gasped against his lips, her fingers tangling in his shirt as she clung to him, as if she could drown in him and never come up for air. Rafe’s hands were everywhere—on her waist, in her hair, gripping her like he was terrified she might disappear.

Like he needed her just as much as she needed him.

The kiss was messy, frantic, a collision of emotions too overwhelming to put into words. It tasted like salt, like blood, like heartbreak.

Like love.

When they finally broke apart, their foreheads pressed together, their breaths mingling in the heavy silence.

Rafe swallowed hard, his fingers still gripping her tightly. “I never stopped,” he admitted. “Not for a second.”

Her heart shattered.

There was so much between them. Too much.

But right now, none of it mattered.

Right now, all she could feel was him.

(divider by @kodaswrld !!)

betty’s notes ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

this was such a sweet one to write :’) i’m a SUCKER for exes to lovers so if anybody has any drew or rafe requests with that trope then pls drop them !!

i really hope it’s what you asked for anon <3

[moon-ttokki-x]

Hi!! Could I please make a request? I was thinking of maybe a ot8 skz x 9th member reader, where the reader has anxiety and ends up having a panic attack and the members comforted the reader?

hihi anon >< i liked this request. i was actually thinking of writing another 9th member fic when this ask came in, so perfect timing ! here you go <3

dissonance - skz x 9th member with anxiety

pairing: ot8!skz x reader with anxiety

summary: you have a panic attack while performing on stage with skz.

genre: angsty, idol!au, mentions of eating, graphic descriptions of a panic attack, slight implication of sh, fluffy ending, mentions of eating, skz are sweethearts

a/n: go check out my 'skz valentines' day event special' if you haven't already >< !

You love what you do. Really. Being on stage, wearing cool outfits, doing what you love, and of course, singing and dancing and performing with eight of your best friends is the total dream.

You couldn't have asked for more.

But now that you're standing backstage, surrounded by staff members, stylists, maintenance techs, and a countless amount of other people you don't even know, you're beginning to feel a little bit overwhelmed.

You look across to where Chan is discussing something with a stylist; it's like you can barely see him because of the overloading environment, and as you watch, his image slowly splits into two. Like a hallucination.

The performance is in a few minutes, and the noise around you becomes even louder as you begin to make your way to the wings of the stage. It's darker here, at least, but the hustle and bustle doesn't end, and neither does the constant ringing in your ears.

You feel a warm hand press lightly into the small of your back and you look up to see Hyunjin gazing down at you.

"You okay?" He says, adjusting his mic. "I know it's noisy here."

You can't do anything but nod in response, not trusting yourself to speak, save you burst into tears, or rudely snap at him. You've been backstage to events like this countless times, but the overwhelm and nausea that seems to come with it never ends. It always starts to happen the moment you sit down in the dressing room to have your makeup done.

The other members gather in a group behind Chan, who's waiting at the curtain before the stage, and you, who's gripping into the velvety material with white-knuckled fingers.

It all feels too much; the coloured lights, the brightness of the stage, the jumbled, discordant noises around you, and even your own members being near you makes you want to scream. Looking at Hyunjin's face again is too much to even bear, the diamantes under his eyes shining far too bright, and the badges on his jacket feeling far too odd and icky to be fashionable.

Chan, who's turned back to count his members before going on stage, glances at you; he knows how you get with these sorts of events, and you can't bear the sight of his face either. You just want him to go away, even if he's not talking to you. A pang of irritation shoots through you as he begins to talk.

"Y/n," he says quietly, though you can barely hear him through the blood rushing through your ears. "Take a deep breath, yeah?"

He moves a little closer, a hand out to stop anyone rushing by from bumping into you. There's a heart-shaped diamante on his cheek, and suddenly you want nothing more to reach up and rip it off his face. The urge to do it is almost overwhelming.

But even if you wanted to, you can't, because suddenly Chan is shouting something and you all run out onto stage, the cheer of the crowd so deafening you can't hear anything at all, your ears buzzing. You start to move purely out of muscle memory, your subconscious forcing your to dance only due to hours of late-night practices where you repetitively drilled the routine into your bones. But it feels stiff and clunky, almost unnatural to be moving the way that you are.

You barely register singing your part; it must have been incredibly subpar, you're sure of that at least, because Minho turns to look at you a little strangely before moving to jump back into position. But you're so visibly out of breath that he seems to realise what's happening, and he takes over singing your part while you keep dancing. The white lights above you are so hot, almost searing against your skin, beating down on you relentlessly. None of the other members seem to be affected, however.

You wince and scrunch the left side of your face as you almost roll your ankle, and you swear you can feel the makeup crinkling against your skin, the unpleasant caked layer of it seeping into your pores, clogging them with impurity. You desperately reach up a hand to scratch it off, provide some relief, but all the members put their hands up as per the routine, and you do the same, so your current situation isn't immediately noticeable to anyone who's watching. You doubt you're performing at even an average level, but you can't find it in you to care, you're so out of breath.

I can't keep going-

Your clothes feel scratchy and irritating against your skin, the top just a little bit too uncomfortable, your shoes just a little too tight, and the fingerless gloves on your hands are almost too much to bear, your hands going numb. Your hair is done too strangely, the styling making your scalp feel all tight and pressured, and suddenly you can't do anything but drop to your knees in the middle of the rush and gasp, your head pounding so hard it hurts-

Too much too much too much-

Before you know it, the stage suddenly goes dark and you realise that the performance has ended. Hopefully no one saw what happened-

That hope is dashed to pieces as you're immediately swarmed by staff members, all crowding in concern. You hear Jeongin yelp as he's pushed to the side and someone else, Chan, you think, is shouting, trying to create order and get to you at the same time. The crowd is murmuring, whispering, but you can't hear them, your whole being numb and grey with searing anxiety.

The members seem to understand what's happening, though, and you look up through dark, blurry vision to see Danceracha making a barrier between you and the rest of the backstage crew with their bodies, Felix looking over his shoulder in concern. They've finally managed to get through the swarm and you collapse onto your back, simply too exhausted to do anything else despite the din of noise surrounding you like a cloud of wasps.

You feel someone's hands- Seungmin's, maybe, press themselves into your shoulders, and a spicy, warm scent fills your nostrils as you suddenly leave the earth, a prominent weight settling over your being. Chan is lifting you.

The rest of the members begin to make their way through the crowd to their designated group dressing room, you clinging to Chan's shoulders so hard you think you might leave crescent-shaped scars in the skin. But he doesn't flinch, not that you notice, since you're unable to do anything but gasp and hyperventilate. You think you might scream, but nothing leaves your lungs, and by now you've lost complete control of your breathing.

Chan sets you down in his lap once the dressing room door is shut, sitting on the couch, and Minho immediately turns the light off. Dimness floods the room and Changbin kneels in front of you, carefully slipping off your shoes and gloves while Jeongin runs his fingers through your hair, flaking out the harsh gel and returning your slightly sweaty hair to its usual state.

You gasp and keel over just as Jisung takes a hold of your hands, completely calm and in control.

"It's okay, Y/nnie," you hear him say, his voice sounding faint and faraway. "You did so well for us, just try and tune into the silence, it'll help..."

You almost forget that this is what Jisung does when he feels overwhelmed with a panic attack too; he told you once that sitting somewhere quiet helps your head to clear things up a little. He must be right, because your breathing is beginning to slow down.

You look down at your hands; you can't feel them, and they look almost alien through your buzzing panic, like they don't really belong to you. Jisung's firm yet gentle grip has left little white patches on the skin in the shape of his fingertips, the blood not flowing through your hands properly due to the hyperventilating.

Foundation gathers on the underside of your nails as you reach up and desperately try to remove all the makeup, your tears not even penetrating the thick, oily layer of cosmetic product. Diamantes come raining down and gather on your thighs just as someone gently swipes a damp, cool cloth across your cheeks, the fabric coming away the colour of your skin.

By the time all of the makeup is cleaned off, and you're sitting in nothing but the complete base layer of your outfit, your breathing has slowed down completely. You look up with red, teary eyes, your heart still pounding, and meet eyes with Chan, who's still sitting with you in his lap, one hand stroking your waist.

"I can't go back out there," you choke out.

Chan nods. "That's okay, Y/nnie. You did really well performing, okay? I think we should all just stay here a little longer until you feel somewhat better, then we'll figure out what to do, hm?"

You sniff. "I m-messed up the performance, though.."

"It's okay, Y/n," Changbin says softly from where he's sitting, his legs swung over a chair.

"Yeah," Hyunjin adds. "Don't worry."

The room is completely silent, until Seungmin pointedly gets up and moves to a stylist mirror, opening the cabinet and pulling out a packet of makeup wipes. He sits down and cleans his face, matter-of-factly, then tosses the wipes into a nearby bin. Minho moves to do the same, and undoes the clasp of his necklace, tossing all his jewelry into a shiny, clunky pile on the table without a word.

Chan nods in approval. "I think we're done here for today. Let's dress down and clean up, then go back home. I think all of us could do with some rest."

You lie down on the couch while the rest of the members change clothes and wash off their makeup in the adjoined bathroom. Everyone keeps their voices low, and the dimness of the room compared to the flashiness outside almost makes you fall asleep. That is, until Felix appears at your side, holding out a juice box and a couple of wrapped chocolates.

"Here," he says quietly. "It should help keep your sugar up until we get back to the dorms."

You sit up a little bit and accept them from him, sipping tiny little sips from the juice as Felix pats your head and leaves to clean off his makeup.

Jeongin moves to lie down next to you after a while, and Hyunjin makes little origami birds out of the chocolate wrappers while Chan finalises the group's departure from the event.

"Alright," Chan says with conviction as Jisung helps you up from the couch. The members assemble near the door, raring to go. "Let's get out of here. I've had enough of this place."

You fight a weak smile as he shoots you a wink.

I couldn't agree more.

a/n: i should really try and find images that actually match for my headers. sigh

[pacifymebby]

Modern! Peaky blinders with a reader who really likes stuffed animals like they make them bring them to Build-A-Bear to get new ones. like how would they act if the reader wants to make them put a voice recording in the bear that says I love you in their voice. ☺️

Obsessed with this cause it's adorable!!!!! It has been yearsssss since I was in build a bear ngl so I don't know how accurate this will be!

Tommy

🌿 Thinks you're very sweet and that the fact you're still in touch with your inner child is a good thing. He's very precious about the idea of you keeping your softness and so he is more than happy to let you run riot in build a bear or any other toy store...

🌿 When you say you want to make him a build a bear he humours you with a small smile, pretending not to know what you mean. "I don't need a teddy bear angel, whenever I want a hug I find you..." Which of course makes you giggle as you protest. "No I mean I want to make you as a bear..."

🌿 Tommy's not sure how he feels about that, he's not sure the aesthetics of love, peace and hugs that they have at build a bear are really going to be able to capture him however... You're looking up at him with your big, undeniable eyes and he's not one for saying "No" to his girl over trivial things like this....

🌿 And anyway it's worth saying yes and letting you give it your best shot just for the way you squeal and throw your arms around him, jumping up so that he has to catch you whilst you thank him over and over covering his face in kisses as you promise him his bear is going to be the best you've ever made....

🌿 "Well I don't doubt that for a second love, it seems you're the expert..." He's teasing you on purpose because he loves to see you frown, the cute way your brows crease as you try to work out whether he's being rude to you or not. You all hands on hips like "I am, actually."

🌿 Tommy's a little concerned about being seen in Build a Bear, mostly because it's the kind of cheap shot some daily mail pap will take and plaster all over their website beneath unfortunate headlines about him having gone soft or getting "stuffed." It's not going to get to him on a personal level but it could be bad for business if his rivals see it.

🌿 So he takes you out of town for it, drives you to some nowhere seaside town which has one on the high street, where no one will recognise him and you'll be able to do your bear building in peace. He's really banking on British high street shopping having died out completely and luckily for him the shop is empty but for you and him... Sure he could probably have taken you to a bigger store in London after hours, let you have free reign over the shop, but this is nicer... It feels normal and Tommy revels in any opportunity he gets to feel "normal" with you.

🌿 He's thinks it's all a little bit intense, he doesn't really go for "forced happiness" himself, but Tommy is very much driven by the want to keep you happy and so he takes a breath and holds his tongue as you step inside the store together and you squeeze his hand excitedly.

🌿 You take foreverrrrr to pick out what kind of bear you're going to have, holding different skins up next to Tommy who just has to stand there and take it whilst you compare which one you think is most "him" and then when you finally do choose you gasp and say "wait no, I want you to be surprised, you can't see!"

🌿 Which is inconvenient because it means he'll have to either follow you round blindfolded or miss the rest of your bear building... In the end you send him off to choose clothes for Tommy bear... "Tommy bear?" He raised his brow at you with a smirk but when you double down he just chuckles and says "fine, as you wish love..."

🌿 So he has to wander the clothes section peering quizzically at the little outfits and well as he suspected, none of the clothes on offer really scream "feared and revered organised crime leader..." So instead he has to lean into his creative side, tries to imagine who he would be if he wasn't a violent, murderous criminal. He pictures himself sitting on the back of a vardo, stopped by a babbling brook, peace and quiet, far away from any city...

🌿 When he hears your gleeful, sweet call from across the store asking him to come back he sighs, braces himself for whatever crazy little whim has taken you now...

🌿 "Close your eyes," you instruct him when he gets closer, he was making a song and dance of not looking at your bear anyway but you want to be absolutely certain he isn't peaking. "Need you to do something for me Tommy, pretty please with cherries on top..." He knows from the sweetness of your tone you're about to ask him something he's going to want to refuse... And he knows from the sweet way you've kissed him on the cheek and said it again "really pretty please..." That there's no way he's going to be able to say no. Because you sound so happy, the hint of a giggle in your mischievous voice and there's no way Tommy would ever dream of cutting your fun short...

🌿 So when you ask him to record himself saying "I love you y/n" he just chuckles, if anything he's relieved you're not asking something more difficult for him to give you. Making a little voice recording is easy... "That all eh sweetheart? Had me worried for a second... Thought you were gonna ask me to buy you the whole store..."

🌿 He's also morbidly aware that the bear will probably outlive him... So why shouldn't you have a little voice recording just in case something ever happens...

🌿 So with one hand over his eyes he makes the voice recording, completely serious as he says the words, "I love you y/n" completely unaware of the fact that you're filming him on your phone camera as you do. Now you know you'll get into trouble for that but you also can't resist. You never thought you'd get Tommy through the door let alone this...

🌿 You're ever so sweet to him when he's done, giving him the tightest hug, leaving him with a kiss before you inform him that he's going to have to leave again now or he'll ruin the surprise. So he sighs and teases you for being so bossy, tells you to mind your manners and gives you a little pat on the cheek before he turns away and tries to find something to occupy himself with.

🌿 he sets himself down on a child-size stool and rests with his chin in his hands, gazing up at the stuffing machine. He lets out a sigh and smirks at what a strange scene it must look like for an outsider looking in. A man wanted in some places for murder, perched on a primary coloured stool, gazing up at a cartoonish machine designed for filling teddy bears.

🌿 Honestly though he's weirdly mesmerised by the fluff machine, he could stare at it going round and round all day long... In fact that's where you find him when your bear is all boxed up and waiting to be paid for. Tommy just gazing at the fluff being spun slowly round and round, his wide eyes almost holding a childish kind of innocence.

🌿 You refuse to let him see Tommy bear until you both get home, delighting in coming up with all sort of stupid excuses why you can't just show him the bear... "He's shy Tommy... You're putting too much pressure on him, he's got big shoes to fill you know, it ain't easy being the bear representative for Thomas Shelby..."

🌿 And then when you finally do show him the bear you've built for him he's a little bewildered...

🌿 "Y/n love, why am I am otter..." "I don't know... Vibes, it was a vibes based decision and I decided you give me ottery vibes, or the otter was giving me you vibes... I don't know, isn't he cute though, personally I love him!"

🌿 And he supposes that actually your choice was really rather fitting since after all he'd been sitting in that shop imagining himself by a river in the middle of the woods, enjoying the peace and tranquility of nature... So perhaps an otter really did match his vibe. "Aye love, he's great, I think I quite like him myself... You're a very clever girl."

🌿 You have many many cuddly toys but Tommy has one rule, you're only allowed one of them in the bed. It's a fair enough rule really because if you kept all of them in your bed there'd be no room for you and Tommy... But it does leave you with the really rather tricky decision of whether or not you want to evict your current favourite cuddly toy from the bed in order for Tommy Bear to move in...

🌿 Tommy doesn't find out about that little video you took of him in the shop for awhile, only a little later when he catches you watching it by yourself. He hears you giggling and comes to see whats so funny, when he sees himself on your screen he inwardly cringes though he can't help but chuckle at your mischief. "Tut tut y/n, that wasn't very good of you was it?" He asks and though you can tell you're in trouble you can't keep your smirk off your lips, bursting into a premature giggling before you go to make a run for it...

🌿 Tommy isn't the sort to let you pretend you're faster or stronger than him so he's going to have you trapped in his arms in an instant, only agreeing to release you if you swear on Tommy Bears life that you'll never show anyone that video.

🌿 "But it's so cute!" You try to argue. "And so is Tommy Bear y/n you wouldn't want him to lose an ear now would you?"

Alfie

🐻 "don't see why you want to build the bear yourself ziskiet, there's plenty good bears already been built what about them eh?"

🐻 You're not sure Alfie really understands the concept of Build a Bear... Alfie's pretty honest about his confusion too.

🐻 "Now let me get this straight my little ziskeit... You go into this shop yeah? And you pick the teddy bear you wanna build, and then you stuff it yourself, and you put it's little sound effects in there yourself, and then you dress it yourself?" "You give them a heart too don't forget, that's important..." "A heart? Oh yeah I suppose that is pretty important ain't it ziskeit..." "And then when you're done you give it a name and you get a little birth certificate and..."

🐻 "And then you pay them? For the privelige of having done all the work yourself? That right yeah?" You huffing and sighing and glowering up at him because the glint of amusement in his eyes has just let you know that he's been deliberately "not getting it" on purpose just to tease you.

🐻 "Pleaseeeeeeeee" you say as sweetly as you can, blinking up at him with your most adorable doe eyes. Now of course Alfie was never going to say no to his little ziskeit... He just wanted to hear you beg like that, because he finds it absolutely adorable when you beg him for anything. But this... Begging him to take you teddy bear shopping, well it's just about the cutest thing you've ever done... So of course he says yes.

🐻 He cups your cheek in the palm of his hand and strokes his thumb over your skin, still teasing when he coos at you softly before telling you that you can have anything you want, even a trip to this so called bear building factory.

🐻 "Ziskeit I'm a very wealthy old man yeah, and it was actually my intention yeah that you, my dear, would never have to work a day in your life..."

🐻 Now Alfie is a theatrical, dramatic kind of man, and he has absolutely no qualms about shutting the store down so that you can have free reign over the place. He'll take you to the biggest one in London so that you'll have lots of choices and can truly make the most of your trip.

🐻 He hires the place out for the whole evening and tells you you can spend as much money as you want. If his girls dream in life really is to go to work for one evening in a bear factory, or whatever this place is, then he's going to make sure she gets to do it right...

🐻 He wasn't expecting you to want him by your side every step of the way though... When you get there you actually get a bit overwhelmed at the fact that you've got the whole store to yourself and you can choose whatever you want. All the staff are there purely to serve you and its actually a little bit intimidating... So you snatch Alfie's hand in yours, "you have to help me!"

🐻 He doesn't chastise you for being demanding however because he can tell you've suddenly gotten a bit shy, so instead he chuckles, kisses your head and plays along, "of course ziskeit, there's a lot of big decisions to make, can't expect you to make them all by yourself..."

🐻 But he wants you to choose your bear, since you were so excited to come in the first place, so he refuses to make any decisions for you... Just keeps you tucked under his arm and meanders through all your options with you until your shyness starts to fade.

🐻 "So you like the bunnies and you also like this little fella? What is he anyway, some kinda cat?" "That's a lamb Alfie..." "A lamb, well, yeah I reckon you could make quite a cute little lamb... Then again I reckon you could make a cute little bunny too... You know precious I did say didn't I, that you could spend as much money as you liked... Technically yeah, you don't actually have to choose between the two..."

🐻 But you do have to choose because you want to make one perfect teddy bear, one that will be extra extra special and remind you of this very lovely evening forever... And when you tell Alfie that his heart swells as he is reminded once again what an absolute angel he has found in you.

🐻 Eventually you settle on the bunny and you take it to the stuffing machine which Alfie is really fascinated by, "oh well now this is impressive ain't it Ziskeit, what do they call this then eh?" You delight in telling him all about it, losing your shyness and coming out of your shell completely as you try to show him what to do and get him to help you.

🐻 Alfie definitely puts on a show of being confused and clumsy so that you'll have to keep putting your hands on his hands to help him. "Yeah that's better you help me out darlin, you've got delicate fingers yeah, you're much better at this than me..."

🐻 When you go to pick the heart out to put it inside you pause and bite your lip, really carefully considering which one to pick even though they're all the same, so Alfie gets you to close your eyes and guides your hand to delve in nice and deep, "kismet y'see little one, fate..."

🐻 Then you make him give the heart a little kiss before you tuck it inside your bear. Now he knows he looks daft as anything and soft as hell doing that for you, but you held it up to his lips so sweetly, and it gave him the chance to kiss your fingertips too... So he plays along, if not just to see you blush when he lets his kiss linger on your finger tips and scatters them across the back of your hand too.

🐻 When you tell him what you want the voice recording to be he's stunned, coughs to hide his surprise and then shakes his head. He'll do it... Because he wouldn't dare break your heart with a no, not when you've finally started really enjoying yourself without being nervous at all... But first he clears the store. Sends the staff away because he wants to have a "private moment with my girl if you don't mind yeah... An anyone I catch eavesdropping yeah..." He doesn't really need to make a threat, they all know who he is, they wouldn't dream of disobeying him.

🐻 So when everyone else has gone, he pulls you in very close to him, his hand resting on your lower back, and then he asks you again what it is you'd like him to say... "I love you!" You grin up at him and he can't resist the opportunity to make the obvious joke, "I love you too my dear but what exactly is it you'd like me to put in this message specifically?"

🐻 By the time he actually makes the recording you're blushing furiously from all his terrible teasing and your pink cheeks look utterly adorable. And of course Alfie being Alfie he can't stick to such a simple script, he has to add some embellishments here and there. "I love you little ziskeit, all the way to the moon and sun and stars..."

🐻 If there's a time out on that recording it's probably going to cut him off mid sentence.

🐻 When it's time to stitch your bear up he stands over you at the table admiring the nimble way you move your delicate fingers. It reminds him of all the times you've wound up stitching him up after a meeting with a rival gang has turned sour. Softens him up a bit and makes him feel very grateful to have you for his own.

🐻 You spend a really really really long time looking at all the cute little outfits you could buy for your bunny, you keep hovering in front of fairy dresses and cute little t-shirts, your wide eyes blinking up at the different options, totally overwhelmed and spoilt for choice... And Alfie's there reminding you once again that you don't have to choose just one thing, you can buy as much as you like...

🐻 But in the end the only thing you choose is two pink ribbons for her little ears. Alfie is a bit puzzled by her apparent lack of clothing but you absolutely insist that she's perfect just the way she is and he knows better than to argue with you once you get the stubborn voice out.

Arthur

🍂 No one has ever looked more unnatural in a Build A Bear Workshop than Arthur Shelby... he looks totally out of place. With his frown etched deeply into his face and his low grumbling gruff old voice. The way he stands there looking at the place with this creeped out kind of uncertainty in his expression... he knows he shouldn't be there and he knows everyone else knows he shouldn't be there....

🍂 But then he looks at you and he sees just how happy to be there you are, and he knows he's going to have to go through with this... Because apart from anything else you look like exactly the sort of person who should be in this shop, in fact you look like build a bear was designed specifically for you.

🍂 Makes you laugh when you ask him what's wrong and he tries to pretend that everything's fine, "Arthur you look like you've stepped into a horror movie" you tease him but his answer just makes you laugh, how he blushes when he says it, "Well it's just... Everyone seems so happy and uh... Nah it's just that actually... Just feels weird..." He admits realising how daft he sounds as he says it, making you laugh more when he trails off and gives in.

🍂 You're determined that he's going to get involved and help you make your bear because you know that secretly he's going to end up enjoying it, you just need to prove that to him before he'll admit it.

🍂 And he does enjoy it... After he's moved past how unnerving he finds the boxes full of empty bear skins. You think it's funny how he doesn't really want to even go up to them to have a look, how he's trying to hide that he obviously finds them a bit creepy, because he doesn't want to reveal himself as being scared of a toy shop...

🍂 So you end up picking out which kind of bear he's going to make with you. He swears too much for a build a bear work shop and you have to keep reminding him to mind his language because although you've picked a relatively quiet time to come to the store there's still some little kids about.

🍂 Still, when he sees the fluffer machine he stops dead in his tracks and breaths out the phrase "what the fuck is that..."

🍂 I think you'd spend most of this trip with Arthur giggling at him and his dramatic reactions to everything. The way he genuinely seems disbelieving when you tell him it's a machine for helping you fill the bears. You can tell he's kind of intrigued and on the verge of begging you for a turn, the way he watches you filling your bear up slowly... He's watching you and the machine so carefully his eyes full of fascination but when you turn and offer him a go he's hesitant.

🍂 "I don't know love I wouldn't wanna ruin your bear like..." "Don't be silly Arthur, if you help me it'll be ten times better..." Now he has to try and hide the fact that he's gotten strangely emotional about you wanting him to make your bear with you... He covers it up by teasing you and grumbling about "well alright love anything for you eh... Don't say I didn't warn you though lass..."

🍂 But obviously Arthur does a wonderful job because the whole process is designed do that basically anyone can do it, "see easier than it looks isn't it..." You tease him. But he's too focused on what he's doing to be bothered by your teasing.

🍂 He actually finds the stuffing part pretty therapeutic. You can see him get quite absorbed in the process, trying his best to get it just right. He's really concentrating.

🍂 I think he'd be quietly quite into giving the little bear a heart, I'm thinking like Tin Man complex here.

🍂 When it comes to doing the stitches he gets a bit frustrated because it's more fiddly and he's not exactly the most nimble man...

🍂 Now, he definitely blushes when you ask him to do the voice recording... He sort of gets a stutter on him like he wasn't expecting you to ask him that, and also isn't sure why you want his gruff grumpy voice to come out of such a cute bear... Definitely says something along those lines to you...

🍂 "What do you want me to do that for love?" "Well I'm not gonna ask the bloody shop assistant to do it for me am i..."

🍂 He will do it, but he is going to be a little bit embarrassed about it. Not just because he's supposed to be a tough and scary gangster with a tough and scary reputation to uphold but also because it seems like a very soft and very gooey romantic thing to do and not only does he not view himself as someone capable of being soft and romantic (even though he wishes he could be that way) (and even though you do see the ways in which he can be that way sometimes) but he also knows for a fact that other people don't see him as being capable of those things...

🍂 So he feels ridiculous, like everyone's secretly thinking "what the fucks he doing making a fool of himself, who's he trying to kid we all know he's a monster..."

🍂 That's the real reason he double checks to make sure no one is around that might be listening in, he's so paranoid that other people in the shop are going to laugh at him for even trying to be soft and romantic with you.

🍂 Anyway he does it and he goes bright red like a tomato and you think he looks so so so adorable, and when you say this to him he goes even more red and you can't help but kiss him on the cheek and thank him a million times.

🍂 You want to call the bear Arthur and he's like "but that's my name" and your only argument is "well surely you don't want another man to be telling me he loves me..." Which he can't argue with, even though he knows it's a ridiculous argument that doesn't make any sense.

🍂 Will tell you he's never setting foot in that shop ever again... Will obviously immediately capitulate the next time you ask.

John

🌼 Laughs when you ask him to come with you... He thinks you're joking at first and then when he realises you're being serious he chuckles almost nervously and asks "What really? What do you want me to come with you for, you know you can just take my credit card whenever you want flower..."

🌼 "Well yeah, and I would but... I have an important job for you..." "Oh aye?" He grins. He agrees to come, he loves spending time with you and getting to spoil you, and honestly he thinks this will be a right laugh.

🌼 He will not take it seriously at all, even when you tell him how very serious it is... In fact the more stroppy you get with him about how serious it is, the more funny he's finding it... he does want you to have a good time though so he's not too much of a windup merchant with you.

🌼 It's just that he can't help but giggle when you step inside the shop and it's full of kids and you're there taking it more seriously than the 7 year old whose been dreaming of a build a bear for years.

🌼 When you're struggling to choose which bear you want he keeps reminding you that it's going on his credit card anyway and you don't even have to choose, you can have the whole store if you want... "John!” you whining to him, "be serious!" "Flower I don't joke about Build a Bear, this stuff is serious..." "John! Stop taking the piss out of me..." "Eh don't swear flower, there's kids around!" He really loves hearing you whine his name so this could repeat and repeat for hours...

🌼 Every time you do come close to making a choice he spots a different type of bear that you haven't noticed yet and his "what about this one flower?" Makes you have to start reconsidering your choice all over again.

🌼 He doesn't have the cocentration/patience to do any of the little bear building steps, he's too easily distracted pointing out different things, asking what "this thing" does and pointing at some random part of the shop. "What's that for? Eh give us a go..."

🌼 You have to put the heart in and he's giggling about it and you're like "John come on..." Whining at him to be real for a second, which he thinks is extremely cute but that makes him chuckle more. You kiss the heart before putting it in which he thinks is insane but also extremely cute and of course he teases you for it. "Aw flower ain't you a little sweetheart..." Pinching your cheek and fluffing your hair...

🌼 Definitely not afraid to do the voice recording, isn't sure why you want him to do it but will do it simply because you've asked him to.

🌼"So this is the important job is it flower?" He chuckles when you tell him what you need him to do. "Whats the matter girl I not tell you enough? Feeling neglected or somet? You gonna use him to make me jealous?" He is only teasing of course, just trying to make you blush in the middle of the shop to distract from the fact that he's about to make a voice recording of himself being a soppy git.

🌼 But you said it was an important job so he puts his whole chest into his performance. Makes a show of preparing himself for the moment, really playing up his deep breath, closing his eyes and theatrically crossing his hand slowly down his face to prepare for his line... anything to make you giggle.

🌼 Then he holds eye contact the whole time he's doing the voice recording, deadly serious, actually gives you butterflies for a second there... but the second the recording is off he cracks a laugh and starts pissing himself, making you giggle too because his laughter is very contagious and you do also feel a little silly after watching his oscar winning performance.

🌼 Is absolutely going to be a nightmare when it comes to dressing your bear... Will be making the most ridiculous suggestions, just picking up the funniest items he can find or suggesting the wildest fashion moments for your bear... "What about this, for if he ever fancies attending the met gala... Or this for when he's feelin like Sid vicious... Or what about this for when he's uh... Feeling like a princess?"

🌼 Your head will be spinning with all the suggestions he's making and actually you won't be able to pick just one set of clothes, your bear is going to be coming home with a whole wardrobe.

🌼 He's definitely picking the bear up and like holding it up to his face, putting on a squeaky voice and shaking the bear to make him talk to you... "please y/n I've always wanted to be a pro footballer... And a fire fighter... And a sugar plum fairy and a..."

🌼 You will probably need to lie down in a dark room with some peace and quiet after this experience, you'll definitely question whether you ask him to come too next time... He actually brings up next time, "next time you should go in blindfolded and let me make all the choices... It'll all be a surprise..."

🌼 This is the bear I think you'd end up picking with John, cute and eclectic, she ain't no average bear she's literally an elephant... You let him pick the shoes.

Bonnie

🍀Will have a moment where he questions whether its really a good idea for him to risk being photographed in build a bear workshop... he's a semi famous boxer with a cute little face so the paps do try to follow him sometimes, especially when he's out with you because then there's the added gossip of him having a girlfriend... still, he figures that as long as he stays by your side the whole time so that they can't possibly get a shot of him where it looks like he's there alone... then it will surely be fine.

🍀He definitely feels a little silly but goes along with it to make you happy because you're his girl and he's smitten with you... It's not like the bears for him... Then again I do feel like out of all the guys bonnie is the most likely to engage with his softer side, or his inner child... He's not going to feel imasculated by a teddy bear.

🍀 Especially not when the bear in question is a frog!! He definitely sees the frog in the window and gets genuinely boyishly excited. "You didn't tell me there were frogs y/n! Oh my god look at him! He's class, that's class!"

🍀 He doesn't tell you you have to get the frog, but he also won't stop gazing at it lovingly and so you know you have got to get the frog... And he'll be so happy that you're getting the frog.

🍀 Will make little jokes about his bosses to you, pointing at one bear and saying "here, this one looks like Tommy..." Both of you laughing quietly with eachother, coming up with stupid scenarios about which bear Tommy or Arthur would pick and how they'd dress it.

🍀Definitely secretly a bit of a nerd and kind of loves the fact they do Pokémon build a bear... "Y/N can we get this?" He asks stood next to a giant charizard...

🍀When you ask him to help you he doesn't complain, he rolls his eyes at you and tells you you don't really need his help, but he kisses your cheek and helps you anyway. He's pretty good at the stuffing and stitching but he pretends its much harder than it looks and jokes that you're making him do unpaid labour.

🍀 Definitely blushes a bit when you tell him what you want the voice recording to be. Tries to tease you to play down the fact that it's made him self conscious, "I don't know little dove, I don't speak frog y'see so it won't be Attenborough Documentary standard..."

🍀Is too awkward to ask the shop assistant to leave you be for a bit so he ends up having to do the recording in front of them!! Which he is shy about because what do you mean this random stranger is watching him do this...

🍀 A bit like John when it comes to picking the clothes out, very kid in a candy store just flitting from thought to thought at a million miles an hour, a bit over stimulated... Thinks the shoes are class but also... "He's a frog what does he need shoes for, won't that hinder the jumping?" "To protect his feet from all the shit you leave lying around Bon..."

🍀He also picks the frog up and makes him speak, makes him say really stupid stuff to you about how he's a free frog and he doesn't want to be confined by human standards of decency, "Let me be a frog y/n, let me be free" but in the end you settle on a cute little tshirt.

🍀When you get the frog home Bonnie has more fun with him than you do... He'll leave these frogs around the house set up in different poses doing different activities for you to find each day. Sometimes mirroring whatever he knows you've got to do that day. If you've got a long day of studying or working on your laptop you find your frog sitting using the laptop... usually watching David Attenborough documentaries or weird videos about frogs. You inadvertently learn so much about frogs...

🍀 if Bonnie ever gets you a gift he usually sets it up so it looks like the frog is giving you the gifts... Sometimes this is very cute and sometimes it looks incredibly funny... Like sometimes Frog is sitting on the table with a little box from your local bakery, and then sometimes Frog looks like he's about to down a bottle of red wine indie sleaze style... Depends what kind of week you're having.

🍀You start doing this too, leaving little gifts for bonnie with Frog, sometimes you leave eachother little messages and Frog becomes like this daft little way for you to communicate.

🍀Then one day you find Frog waiting for you with a little jewellery box and a note attached that just reads, "will you marry me?"

🍀Now obviously your heart soars and you can't stop smiling, but you can't put bonnie out of his misery straight away...

🍀"So am I marrying you or the frog?"

Isaiah

🐁If he didn't already know you better he'd be surprised at you asking him this... you don't come across as the kind of girl who should want to go on a Build a Bear date... but he does know you so really hes been bracing himself for the day you ask him this...

🐁 He isn't going to go quietly and he's definitely going to grumble about it a bit. "You do know who you're man is don't you love?" He's going to roll his eyes and be so sulky... "What're you willing to do to make it up to me?" But he's only really teasing, putting on a show of being extra grumpy to preserve his "dangerous gangster" persona.

🐁He knew before you asked him that he'd go to the "hellhole" with you one day.

🐁"Didn't realise you were such a softy babe..." And it's a fair point he's making because you do not give off the vibe that you'd be crazy for cuddly toys... You're a woman who matches Isaiah's sulky and arrogant nature, you give major Scorpio/Capricorn vibes, dark makeup, sharp eyeliner, always dressed to seduce and kill... He thinks that as a couple you're going to look very out of place...

🐁But then he's surprised because you really don't look out of place... You light up the second you're in there, sure you seem to have that effortlessly cool poker face on you as you peruse the rails of bear skins, and you definitely don't meet the high as a kite happy the shop assistants bring to the room... but you do soften up in there, especially once you've chosen your bear...

🐁You look so quietly pleased with yourself when you hold it up to show him which one you're getting and he grins... He's surprised actually, he thought you might go for the little mouse... Afterall, you're still his Little Mouse even if you are a femme fatal...

🐁But he loves this choice too, it's very you... "You are fuckin trouble to be fair love..."

🐁He humours you when you ask if he wants a go, it's not that you need his help you just don't want him to be bored and he's looking around that store with a look of bewilderment on his face so you think perhaps he needs some guidance...

🐁So he has a go on the stuffing machine but only for a moment, "Don't wanna ruin your fun mousy, this is your day like..." You know he just doesn't want to run the risk of looking like he's actually into it and enjoying himself.

🐁"You have to give it a heart?" Him raising his eyebrow when you ask if it should be red or pink, "Do they have any black ones?" "Saiah! What are you trying to say about me?" "Oh don't act innocent mousy you're the coldest woman I know!" He's joking with you, he has this running joke that the first time he offered to buy you a drink you said no... That you're really hard to impress and that you did not make it easy for him to get you... But he loves all that about you... He secretly loves how hard you made him work...

🐁Anyway this triggers you having to explain this whole story to the shop assistant who is honestly just baffled to have a peaky blinder in the shop let alone to be hearing about their love life...

🐁 Definitely protests when you tell him about the voice recording... You spring it on him in the shop so that he doesn't have time to think of a good reason to back out. You've been a little calculated and you can see that he is livid you've managed to trick him again!! You always manage to trick him!

🐁But all it takes from you is one little pout and an "I'll make it worth your while" before he is stepping up to the recorder ready to give the performance of a life time.

🐁Teases you and stalls the recording making out like he's about to and then recording some stupid message instead that has to be erased. Messages like "I do not contain contraband goods" "I have the right to remain silent..." "Y/N made me do it..."

🐁But eventually he records the real message and it's lovely, personalised too because he says "I love you little mouse"

🐁 "Don't be too good with them stitches love, never know when we'll have to undo em..." He whispers to you and you bloody well hope he is joking. "Isaiah!" You hiss back, "my teddy bear is NOT going to be involved in any criminal activity..."

🐁Isaiah is the one who picks out the Too Hot To Handle t-shirt. At first he makes out like he's joking but when you hmm and say "Yes, I see the vision, I love it..." He tries to pretend he was being serious all along.

🐁Obviously makes some sly little comment about you being too hot to handle...

🐁 One day you go to give your bear a little cwtch and you think he feels kind of lumpy and kind of sharp in places... So you investigate the stitches on the back and oh my god you're going to KILL Isaiah.

🐁 You open the bear up to find diamonds though so maybe this is a secret you can keep... For now.

Michael

☘️ "you're fuckin kidding me..."

☘️ Out of all the blinders Michael has the biggest chip on his shoulder when it comes to masculinity... He really frets and worries about his image as a violent, dark and mean criminal. He likes to come off as slick and professional, an elite... But also as cold and dangerous, not to be messed with. Wants to command everyone's respect at all times...

☘️ "How the fuck am I meant to come across as respectable buying teddy bears y/n"

☘️ You just pout back at him all, "I don't know, hire the place out, show everyone how minted you are..." You shrug your shoulders and then refuse to look at him or speak to him until he caves... And if there's another thing that bothers him deeply it's the thought of not being man enough for his girl... So he has to cave... He can't have toxic masculinity literally be the thing making him seem like "less of a man"

☘️ You weren't actually expecting him to hire the store but he does, he shuts the whole place down for one night, makes them open for you when the rest of the mall is closed for the evening so that it's just the two of you in the whole building... That makes you feel extra special and also guarantees that he's safe from the eyes of anyone who might use this to ridicule him.

☘️ And because the place is shut down and because he's given very clear instructions that the staff are to leave you alone until you're ready to leave he is safe in the knowledge that if he wants to be soft and cute to you he can be... So he is... Of course he's still Michael, he's still a little brooding and serious... Still wants to have authority and control... But he shows that authority by being extra generous and spoiling you rotten in there...

☘️ You get to make multiple bears for sure, every time you say you can't choose you just have to turn and pout at him and be a little bit cutesy and he caves and gives you exactly what you want, and it comes with little kisses on the forehead or cheek. Holding your hand or walking round the store with his arms around you.

☘️He helps you with the stuffing but mostly because if he doesn't you'll be there all bloody night, you've got way too many bears to make all by yourself. So you put him on stuffing duty and you get to work putting their little hearts in and stitching them up.

☘️"Wouldn't have brought you here if I'd known how much work we'd have to do love, y'know I was hoping to be in bed before 5am..." He's only teasing you and really deep down he does love to see you so happy. And you are so happy, you're so sweet and content stitching up your little bears...

☘️ Which is funny because you're usually quite a feisty, hard to please woman, you come off as so chic and badass, he definitely isn't used to seeing you so calm and soft... But he likes this look on you and definitely decides he wants to try and bring it out of you more often...

☘️ Now, whilst Michael was busy concentrating on his task, you made sure to hide your favourite bear, which has gone unstitched because you have big plans for it... And big plans for Michael too.

☘️ Which of course absolutely floor him when you reveal them to him. "You want me to what..." He looks at you so deadpan you almost question whether he's going to give you what you want.

☘️ And he definitely puts up the biggest fight... "Fuckin no y/n... I'm not doing that... Imagine if that gets into the hands of my fuckin cousin eh... Family meetings will be unbearable!" He doesn't hear the pun until you start to giggle and he is so unamused by your laughing at him. But you can't help it.

☘️ "come on Michael please" you pout at him, giving him your best puppy eyes... He isn't budging though and you know you may have to go to an extreme... You drop to your knees, wrapping your arms around his legs, nuzzling into his trousers, then you look up at him again and it your darkest, sweetest voice you ask him again, "pretty please Michael..."

☘️ Makes you stay down there begging a little while because he enjoys hearing your voice when you get a little whiny, and he enjoys looking down on you from that angle...

☘️ but he does cave and he does do the recording, "I love you y/n..." He sounds a little grumpy but he does do it and you are happy. You reward him with a big kiss and promises to thank him properly later.

☘️ Michael literally locks this bear in a safe inside a cupboard whenever family visit, there is no way he's ever having one of his cousins find that by accident. "You're so dramatic Michael it's just a teddy bear..." "Y/N I would sooner lock myself in a burning building and slow roast myself than have Tommy find that fuckin bear..."

☘️ And that's good to know because it means you've got an excellent bargaining chip now for future arguments. One little video of that bear and Michael's little message, it would take seconds to post it in the family WhatsApp and he'd just have to deal with the consequences... Now obviously this is not why you made the bear... Definitely not.

Luca

🪽 I shouldn't but I picture modern day Luca as being Sopranos esque... Not like Tony's family but the actual New York mafia and how they're portrayed in the show.

🪽 And whilst I think the peaky blinders would be on like the New Jersey mob tier, Luca is above all that... he has so much power and such a serious reputation that he actually does not need to worry about being seen in a build a bear with his wife...

🪽 No one is going to say anything about him, not without literally losing their balls or something. People are very careful with what they say about Luca Changretta and his wife.

🪽 So when you ask he just smirks affectionaly, beckons you over to him, holds your cheeks in his hands and places a lingering kiss on your lips. "anything for you my little lamb..."

🪽 He has a flare for romance and he's a passionate man so he's going to turn the whole trip into an occasion. He will close the shop down but not so that no one sees him going into build a bear... people are going to know he did it... it's just so you can have free reign and take your time without feeling rushed... he knows if he took you there during opening hours you'd just keep letting little kids skip past you in the line and then you'd be there all day..

🪽 And he wants you to feel like your trip is all about you, no one else... so you get the store to yourself and he reminds you that money is no object... "But space is Piccolina... We don't want to have to build an extension just for your teddy bears..." He's teasing you of course... he probably would do that if he needed to.

🪽 He's very cool about being there, browsing slowly, though he's watching you the whole time rather than paying much attention to the bears, admiring you from every angle as you concentrate on your choices. Every time you turn to ask his advice he simply tells you "Whatever you think is right Angioletto, you know best..."

🪽 And then to your surprise he sends you off on your own for a little while, and whilst you're busy wrapped up in your little tasks, stuffing your bears just right and putting their little hearts in, he's picking a surprise out for you... a teddy you completely missed!

🪽 When he comes to join you at the heart station he's hiding something behind his back... and when he presents it to you you gasp and clap your hands together so touched by it.

🪽 "A little lamb for my little lamb..." he says it very suavely and you can't help but blush and get butterflies. "Now why don't you show me what to do next?" So you tell him about the little hearts and how you have to give the teddy a voice and how you can do the little recordings... you don't outright tell him you want him to record something for you but he knows you well enough to know that you'd just love it if he did...

🪽 So he takes the heart from your hand and holds it to his lips, eyes locked with yours ever the romantic... and then when he does the recording he thinks carefully about what he's going to say...

🪽 "luce dei miei occhi, amore della mia vita, finché morte non ci separi..." (light of my eyes, love of my life, til death do us part)

🪽 And of course he's holding your cheek in his hand as he says it and of course he kisses you passionately the moment he's finished up... and of course he can't keep his hands off you holding you by the waist... almost getting carried away... and youve melted like butter at his beautiful words.

🪽 Honestly for awhile there you probably get a little distracted from the task at hand (shopping for bears) and spend a little too much time being desperately in love with your husband...

🪽 Your little lamb bear does not look like something that should belong to a mob wife... She's so cute, and Luca finds this a little amusing... That his wife, who is always so chic and styles, so...well... Mob wife... Has gone and made herself the most adorable, very pink, little teddy bear...

🪽 When you get to the checkout you have quite the little hall, the bears you made yourself all in a little basket, and your new favourite little lamb clutched tightly in your arms. You've already decided this little lamb is your most treasured possession...

🪽 At home you hardly let it out of your sight, you're so proud of it, and you can't stop listening to Luca's confession of love, he keeps warning you to be careful not to wear the batteries out but you're too giddy and in love to listen...

🪽 Luca doesn't tend to travel anywhere without you, but on the odd occasion that you have to be parted you like to listen to his little recording before you go to sleep, it makes you feel safe and loved.

Aberama

🦔 I guess there's a bit of an age gap here and Aberama is getting pretty used to hearing you say things he doesn't really understand...

🦔 For example when you ask to go on a trip to build a bear workshop, he really thinks you mean a literal bear building factory... He's a bit confused as to why you'd want to visit a production line... And when he asks and you giggle he quickly realises that this is one of those things he's misunderstood...

🦔 But he's willing to learn he supposes, even if the idea sounds a little mad to him...

🦔 And Aberama is too old to be worried about looking too soft, he doesn't care one bit what anybody else thinks of him, he only cares that his girl is happy and getting all the love and little treats she deserves...

🦔 Will do some research as to which is the best build a bear store in the country and plan it into the route you're travelling... He won't tell you that's what he's doing, so by the time he surprises you with the little day trip you will have forgotten that you'd asked him about it...

🦔 Your reaction when you see where he's taking you is so sweet, how at first he can tell you're a little uncertain, that you have your suspicions but clearly don't want to get your hopes up too much... But then you're sure that he's taking you there because you're standing right outside the shop and he's waiting for the penny to drop and you turn to him with these wide sparkling eyes...

🦔 "This is what you meant isn't it sweetheart?" He asks with a chuckle when you nod your head and squeak with excitement ever so adorably...

🦔 He lets you lead the way because as we've established he's got no idea what goes on here or what the deal is at all... But he thinks it's so sweet how you explain all the steps and give him a little walking step by step tour/tutorial.

🦔 You ask him to help you pick which teddy to get because there are so many you love but you really do only want to get one and besides you both like travelling light... One of Aberama's many nicknames for you is "duckling" and so you end up getting a little duck, which you name "buttercup" another one of his nicknames for you...

🦔 You think she's perfect because she matches your woodsy little aesthetic and also she's just undeniably adorable!!

🦔 You want him to help you with each step so that he can be involved too, "Cause I've done it before but you haven't and I don't want you to miss out!" You insist, and that is partly true... But it is also partly down to the fact that you find it entertaining to watch him struggle to get his head around everything.

🦔 He's pretty good with his hands and very nimble fingered though so he'd be very good at the stuffing and stitching... When you show him the little hearts to put in the bears he can't help but chuckle... He's not exactly cynical in his old age but he definitely thinks that somewhere there's a very rich man because of this "experience" they've managed to sell to people...

🦔 But how can he fault them when you're revelling in that "experience" right before his eyes and you look so so happy...

🦔 He laughs again when you show him the bit where you do a voice recording, "God they've really thought of everything haven't they sweetheart..." He chuckles, you giggling when you scold him for spoiling your fun...

🦔 But of course he does it... I kind of imagine Aberama has quite a way with words, can create quite sentimental homely poetry off the cuff, something very short and sweet... And like honestly my apologies for not including this but my brain is not capable of writing a little poem right now

🦔 Anyway, he reads it beautifully and so calm and slow that you get a little bit worried the recorder is going to time out and he'll have to start again. But luckily the poems very short and sweet.

🦔 Thinks the birth certificate is absolutely insane and does laugh about it, humours you but you do both have a good giggle about it...

🦔 You can't find anything you want to dress your little duck in in the store because you're very fussy about your woodsy little aesthetic and you want her to dress like you dress... And Aberama can see you're a little disappointed you couldn't find anything that felt right so...

🦔 He works away in secret each night after you've gone to sleep to make a tiny replica of a Pinafore you own, one that's the perfect fit for your little duck... Each night he has to wait until you've fallen asleep, sneak out of bed, sneak your cuddly toy away from the bed too, and then work until the early hours in very dim lamplight so as not to wake you...

🦔 There's a couple times where you wake in the middle of the night and he has to be so quick to hide his work and pretend that he was simply getting a drink of water...

🦔 Then one morning you wake up to your little duck sitting by your pillow in this perfect little pinafore... Your heart absolutely bursts and you're genuinely amazed. "Oh my god... Did you do this?" You can't believe how sweet and thoughtful a gesture it is and you're also incredibly impressed by his handy work...

🦔You show her off to everyone you possibly can which does of course mean that poor Abe does in fact wind up getting the piss ripped out of him by some of his friends... And bonnie, god bonnie won't let him live it down saying things like "here the bairns need new clothes da, what're you doin making clothes for a teddy bear when your own flesh an blood are cuttin about with holes in their jackets..."

🦔 But you're so proud of your little bear and so thrilled that Aberama gave it that sweet little finishing touch, he's not bothered what anyone else has to say...

Finn

🌸 is going to say no... Definitely is bothered about looking soft, definitely will be extremely paranoid about being ripped into by his older brothers and his mates...

🌸 Already knows the things they'll say to him, all the comments about if he needs that for when he has nightmares... All the comments about how whipped he must be if he's building teddy bears with you.

🌸 But he's also definitely young enough that he will just so whatever his girl wants, he's a bit of a pushover and if you tell him you're going and he needs to go with you or he's dumped (not even really a serious threat) he will go...

🌸 But he will be massively awkward about being there, he'll be proper skulky constantly checking his periphery for anyone who might know him... Definitely puts his hood up when you're walking into the store, definitely keeps his hood up the whole time.

🌸 The whole time you're in the store he's got this semi blush on his cheeks, his freckles shaded with a slight pink glow behind them....

🌸 he finds it all a bit uncanny, thinks the bear skins are a bit "fookin weird..." But he goes along with everything because the quicker you get on with it the quicker it's over and the quicker he can get out...

🌸 You spend a lot of this trip laughing at him and taking the piss out of him because he's being a baby... "You're being daft Finn, lighten up babe... You don't gotta be so serious all the time you're Finn Shelby not Tommy..."

🌸 You try to get him to do little bits with you, he just laughs nervously when he's doing the stuffing and then gets awkward about the heart...

🌸 He definitely is a bit mortified when you ask him to do the voice recording... "Seriously babe? Do I have to?" "it's not like I'm askin you to kill someone Finn jesus..." "I'd fuckin rather you did love I'm better at that!"

🌸 he does do the recording in the end but it's quiet and muffled because he mumbles it, he's too worried about other people in the store over hearing him...

🌸 You let him dress it and it winds up looking like this...

AN // happy Valentines day my lovelies, hope this brings you some fuzzy cosy vibes this evening!! This took me like two whole weeks to write :o sorry they don't all come with a bear, there will be more bear analysis soon I think... And sorry some are shorter than others, I really only threw poor Finn in there because the thought of him sulkin in build a bear made me giggle.

Taglist

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[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Can we pleasee have more yandere father stein content??

Yandere Father Stein (2)

The fic it started with | Headcannons

“Are you ready?”

“To kill you after you’ve beaten up my boyfriend for no reason? Very much so!”

“Uh, Professor and (Y/n) the rules for training today is to not seriously hurt each other.”

“...You should make use of the new upgrades I made to your key.”

“Shut it, old man!”

“Alright and start!”

On the level of combat, you’re unique but not all that different from your father

Able to wield your own version of soul force with mechanical upgrades to your actual person

You charge first sending a violent punch in his direction 

Dodging swiftly, he takes the opening to produce a soul force into your back

Maka, Soul, Kid, Kate, Liz, Tsubaki and Black Star cringe having seen this move before 

Fully expecting to hear you scream and writhe like them

But alas you do not instead you take advantage of his pause to latch onto his screw slamming his head into the ground

You don’t wait for him to get out of the crater, folding your palms together and bringing them down

“Soul Strike!” 

A purple flash of light goes out as you slam into his back 

You don’t get another hit in before he’s gotten up again and is running across the desert

Of course, you follow, your fist turning into an open palm, the output of your soul wavelength is immense and everyone watching can tell that this could be fatal for any normal person

Maka tries to intervene but you’re already inches away from stabbing Stein

“(Y/n) wait–!”

Only for it all to stop 

Your eyes dull and mid-lunge you crumble right into Stein’s chest

“Slightly delayed reaction, otherwise good results.”

With ease, he picks up the unconscious you 

Hardly struggling with one hand he puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights it

“What just happened!?”

“I guess this ends in a…win for Stein?”

Kid is the only one who seems to know what happened and he’s very mad about it

“That is foul play! Using whatever ‘upgrades’ you made against them!”

Stein scoffs, “Don’t get upset. They should know better than to let their key get dislodged in a fight.”

He casually walks back into the city leaving the others to get back on their own

Looking down at you, he can’t help but compare it to the memories of your youth

Small and reckless it was always a joy to be able to turn the key in your chest to send you to sleep

Of course he wasn’t the only one who realized this 

“Papa I made friends!”

You used to be so small

“With them over there! They love ma cookin’!”

“Do they?”

“Yup!”

“Figures they are rats. (Y/n)...have you been pulling out the key on your chest lately?”

“Mmm no.”

“I see so you’ve discovered what lying is.”

“What’s lying?”

“What you just did. Tell me where is it?”

“Mmm I don’t know.”

“Well if you don’t want to miss seeing your friends tomorrow better find it. Other wise you’ll be sleeping while I make a new one.”

“I–well…I think I know where it is…wait here!”

As he once again situates you on his operating table the monitor quietly displays your vitals, he wonders how he could be the parent of such a rebel

A monitor rings out, a wall of TVs all for their respective cameras showing 

And on one continuing into the other is the student with black hair and white stripes hopping his fence

“Why is it that even at this age they continue to attract rats? I’ll just have to deal with it...like last time.”

[amyispxnk]

OK I went through a LOT of emotions during this chapter.

"Hi," he whispered to her after her naps. "Did you sleep well? Huh, pretty girl? C'mere."

She made tiny, thoughtful expressions like she was really listening to him. Her little hands were always reaching, always curious. Right now, she was watching the lights with those big brown eyes, mesmerized by the slow shift of the shadows on the ceiling, her mouth parting slightly in wonder. Her fingers curled absently in his shirt, barely grasping, like she just liked knowing he was there.

Before he could stop himself, he pressed another kiss to the side of her head, then another and another, half a laugh escaping him when she wriggled in delight, her little fists stretching open, her eyes squeezing shut like she could feel the warmth of it sinking in.

omg this is too fucking cute I'm gonna explode actually

Joel almost laughed, because—yeah. Yeah, he’d drop dead before refusing that. “‘Course,” he said, voice low but certain. .....

...Her fingers brushed the edge of the desk, and her knuckles paled with how tightly she gripped it. “You’re welcome home anytime, Joel. My door’s always open for you.”

"Maya loves you so much."

I SCREAMED SO LOUD. MY HAPPY FAMILY IS COMING TOGETHER

The door was open again. And that was the thing about doors.

They worked both ways.

SCREAMINGG crying throwing up the writinggg omg

...But then she spotted him.

Her entire little body bucked, like the excitement was too much for her tiny limbs to contain. A bright, panting laugh bubbled from her mouth, and her hands curled, fists flailing like wanted to launch herself toward her.

Joel sighed. That was it. No walking away now.

HE LOVES HER SM AND SHE JUST FUCKING ADORES HIM AND UGHHHH HES SUCH A DAD AND IM CRYING AGAIN

And goddamn him, but he loved it. Loved the small breaths puffing against his collarbone. Loved the way she looked up at him, slow and sleepy, tapping her tiny knuckles against him like she was checking to make sure he was still there. Loved that he didn't have to think about anything, not feel like the whole world was closing in.

Bawling this is so sweet

The kid he’d sort of raised, playing with the baby he was yet to.

WHAT IF I JUST FUCKING DIED.

“It’s… good, y’know? You having this nice thing.” She waved a vague hand toward the baby, toward Leela. “You don't usually let yourself have nice things. Something that’s not just me.”

Losing my mind. I love him sm this is so sweet please nothing bad ever happen to any of them ever thank yyou

This chapter is one of the best fics I've ever read like EVER. omg.

falling | joel miller x fem!oc (part iii)

summary: Joel’s delicate attachment to Leela and baby Maya deepens along with—her resistance, his denial, and the slow, inevitable way he’s always finding his way back to them. As they navigate a freak accident, Ellie sees it. He does too. Almost.

a/n: ah-woohooooo more of Joel being a thickheaded numpty, so enjoy! I would love to hear all your unhinged, lovely thoughts!

It had been a quiet few weeks for Joel.

Not the kind of quiet he liked—the stillness of early mornings, with the wind rustling the trees and a guitar strumming in his hands. No, this was the one that came after a storm, when the air was dense with the scent of rain and the world felt... upside down. Unsettled. The kind of quiet where the damage had already been done, and all that was left was to pick through the wreckage.

The kind of quiet that made a man think too much. It pressed into him, heavy and suffocating.

Since that night in the car, since he’d seen her unravel in real time, the tacit MO had changed. On more welcome news, Mal had stopped coming around. No thanks to him, of course.

Joel saw him through the window the first morning he returned to Leela's place. Mal was coming up the path with the same easy stride, hands in his pockets like he had a right to be there. God, just once, he wanted to knock the teeth off that goddamned kid.

Joel set down his hammer and exhaled through his nose. Bless Tommy for leaving the fun part to him. He rolled his shoulders, cracked his neck, and stepped out onto the porch before the kid could even knock. The heavy door groaned on its hinges behind him, and he let it.

Mal spotted him and gave a lazy wave, stepping forward. “Hey, man. I’m just here to—”

Joel shifted in front of him. Not aggressive. Just there. An immense wall of quiet warning.

Mal stopped short, blinking up at him.

Joel wasn’t even trying to stand taller, but he didn’t need to. He just crossed his arms over his chest, let his shoulders square out naturally, let his stance say everything. He wasn’t fucking moving.

The kid hesitated, confusion flickering across his face. “Uh—is there a problem?”

“I’ll take it from here,” Joel said, voice even.

Mal frowned. “What?”

“I said, whatever it is, I got it.”

There was a pause. A moment where Joel could see the gears turning in Mal’s head, where the kid was piecing things together a little too slow for his liking.

“Okay, but Tommy said—”

“Yeah, well.” Joel leaned forward, just enough to be felt. Watched Mal’s jaw tighten, and watched him shift back on instinct. “Not anymore.”

That finally landed. Mal thankfully rocked back on his heels and rubbed the back of his neck. He glanced past Joel, toward the house, then back, brows knitting together, trying to make sense of what was going on. What he'd done wrong.

"Uh... do you want help, at least?" he offered, cautious.

Joel let out a slow breath, something close to a laugh—if you could call it that. There was nothing warm in it. "You run along now."

Mal lingered for another second, like he wanted to argue, but thought better of it. And like a kid being told off, he tucked his tail and left.

Joel didn’t bother to watch him go. Just turned on his heel, grabbed the door, and went back inside. “Fuckin' pest,” he grumbled under his breath.

The house was quiet—only the soft creak of the stairs, followed by the sound of careful, steady footsteps.

He looked up and saw Leela was making her way down, one hand carefully bracing against the railing. She was in sweats and an oversized sweater, her hair pulled into a low-hanging bun. There was something different about her face today—sharper, cleaner, blanker maybe. Or maybe he was just seeing her in a better light now.

She caught him staring. "Was that Mal?"

Joel simply lied, "No."

She pressed her lips together. Not quite disappointment, not quite relief. Something in between. “Oh,” she said quietly. “Maybe later.”

Joel hooked a thumb through the loop of his tool belt, retrieving the hammer he’d slung there. He twirled it once, catching the handle in his palm.

“Don't worry about it. He’s a busy guy,” he said, keeping his voice light as he crossed her on the staircase. “Lots of shit to fix around town.”

More importantly, Leela didn’t ask why or how. Soon enough, she stopped looking for Mal. Didn’t even question when Joel started showing up every day instead with his old tool belt slung over his shoulder, standing at her door like it was the most unassuming thing in the world. She just looked at him—one glance, one unreadable flicker of those dark, tired eyes—and then moved on like it didn’t matter. Like he wasn’t there at all. Stiffing him, essentially.

And Joel knew that kind of distance. This gaping rupture, widened between people when something sore and hideous had been exposed. When someone had seen too much; known too much. Leela knew she’d overstepped, and now she was pulling back.

Joel knew that feeling. He’d done it plenty himself. That instinct to retreat, to pull the shutters down, to make yourself small. Hell, he’d lived it. Had become it.

So he let it happen. He let her pretend again. Didn't push, didn't say anything. He simply worked.

The nursery was coming together, slowly but surely. The pendant lights were fixed, casting warm pools of gold over the room. The shelves stood straighter, stocked with whatever Maria had been sneaking in—baby books, folded blankets, onesies, wooden toys. And the old fuchsia rug he’d found in Leela’s storage? It tied the whole damn thing together, like a relic of a forgotten life, all lived-in and warm for the baby girl.

Joel stood in the centre of it all, Maya cradled in his arms, rocking slightly on his heels. Not that she could appreciate any of this yet. A safe space of her own.

He had never been the kind of man who cooed at babies either. Hadn’t been that way when Sarah was small, hadn’t been that way in the years since. There was something about them—so soft, so fragile—that made him cautious, like he had to hold back, keep himself in check.

Maya made it easier.

"Hi," he whispered to her after her naps. "Did you sleep well? Huh, pretty girl? C'mere."

She made tiny, thoughtful expressions like she was really listening to him. Her little hands were always reaching, always curious. Right now, she was watching the lights with those big brown eyes, mesmerized by the slow shift of the shadows on the ceiling, her mouth parting slightly in wonder. Her fingers curled absently in his shirt, barely grasping, like she just liked knowing he was there.

She’d been a fussy one lately—tired, restless, wanting to be held more often than not. Lonely. And with a mama like Leela, who drifted too easily and got lost too deep in her own head, Joel figured it wasn’t a bad idea to show her around. Give her something new to look at.

“What do you think, baby girl?” he murmured, shifting her closer, his palm smoothing down her tiny back. “Did I do okay or what?”

Maya blinked up at him, her whole body stilling for a second before she let out a soft, breathy coo.

Joel grinned. “Yeah?” he chuckled. “That a yes?”

She wiggled in his hold, that gummy little smile coming alive, kicking lightly against his ribs, and Joel felt himself exhale—deep, easy, something loosening inside him. She liked it. The nursery. The lights. Him. Maybe none of it mattered in that little head of hers, but she wasn’t crying. She wasn’t fussing. She was looking at him like she trusted him, and God help him, but he wanted to deserve that.

He took her toward the shelves, kneeling carefully with her in one arm, balancing his weight as he pointed to the row of paint cans. “Alright, sweetheart. Let’s pick a colour. What’s it gonna be, huh?” He tilted them slightly, exposing the faded labels. “We got white. Some kinda blue. Green.”

Maya reacted immediately, tiny fist stretching out, fingers grazing toward the muted green.

Joel huffed a small laugh. “Yeah? That your favorite?”

Her fingers brushed the side of the can, fascinated by the cool metal, a quiet coo slipping from her lips.

Joel hesitated for a second, then gave in. He really couldn't help himself. At that moment, he just had to. Slowly, carefully, he shifted her closer, lowering his head and pressing a kiss to the soft crown of her unsteady little head.

She smelled faint and sweet as always, like baby powder and fresh linens, and he let himself linger for a second longer than he should have, feeling the heat of her through his shirt, the tiny weight of her against his chest.

Maya wiggled in response, not in protest, but excitement, legs kicking slightly.

Joel exhaled, something breaking loose inside him.

Before he could stop himself, he pressed another kiss to the side of her head, then another and another, half a laugh escaping him when she wriggled in delight, her little fists stretching open, her eyes squeezing shut like she could feel the warmth of it sinking in.

Maybe she could. Maybe she knew, in that small, primal way babies knew things, that Joel was someone safe. That he wouldn’t let her fall. That he really fucking loved her.

A rustle at the doorway made him glance up from a kiss. Leela stood there, her hand lightly braced against the frame, watching him.

Joel was caught off guard, leaning away from Maya a bit, settling her lower against his chest. “Hey,” he greeted, voice low. “Just givin’ her the lay of the land.”

Leela’s expression didn’t change. She only flashed a tight, fleeting smile before stepping forward, arms extending toward Maya. “You wanna take a bath with mama?”

Maya twisted in his hold, cooing eagerly now, little hands reaching for her mother. Even after everything, her mother was still her favourite person.

Joel let her go, careful as he passed her over to Leela. Their hands brushed, warm skin against warm skin, and he ignored the way it lingered, how her fingers barely curled in his before she took Maya into her arms.

“She’s been good,” Joel muttered.

Leela nodded, running a gentle palm over Maya’s back. “There’s lunch downstairs if you’re hungry.”

Joel studied her for a beat, his fingers brushing idly against his tool belt. “…Did you eat something?”

She hesitated. Too long. Then nodded, slow.

He didn’t call her on the lie. Instead, he nodded back, watching as she turned on her heel, shifting Maya closer against her shoulder. She left him with another tight, fleeting smile before disappearing down the hall.

Joel breathed out a sigh, glancing back at the half-finished room. Maya’s soft, content coos still lingered in the air. The green paint sat on the shelf, waiting.

And for some damn reason, he felt lonelier than he had in a long, long time.

It had taken him eleven days. Too long for a man like him. But he hadn’t rushed at all. He should’ve, but he didn’t. Had he been the same old Joel—good ol’ Texas Joel—this would’ve been a job done in a heartbeat. A blink, and he’d be out of her way. He wouldn’t have noticed things. Wouldn’t have lingered like a moron.

Maybe it was because of the way Leela barely spoke to him anymore. Or that she wouldn’t look him in the eye when she checked on his progress in clipped words and hums, wouldn’t even glance his way when she passed Maya to him like clockwork, a silent, wordless thing between them.

Maybe because when she leaves him standing at the porch at the end of the day, the door closing shut in his face, it didn’t feel like closing a chapter. It felt like a fucking wall going up.

Joel found her in the kitchen that evening, standing by the counter, wrist-deep in soapy water. It was late, Maya was snoozing her little head off upstairs, the house dim except for the overhead light humming low above them.

She didn’t stagger when he entered, didn’t look at him either. Just kept scrubbing the hell out of a plate, though he was pretty sure it was already clean. He dawdled near the doorway, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to figure out what the hell he was doing.

He should’ve left. Should’ve let the silence settle. But he couldn't just leave it alone.

Instead, he cleared his throat and stepped forward, leaning a hip against the counter. “Y’know, you got a dishwasher. It's half the effort,” he pointed out.

Leela gave a small huff. “Electricity’s scarce.”

Joel snorted. “So is water, darlin’.”

She finally glanced at him, just a flicker, then back to the sink.

He tapped his fingers against the counter, searching for something—anything—to keep her in this moment with him. “Made good progress today,” he said. “Maya... she tried to turn on her side. The nursery; well, I just need to fix up that dresser and—”

“Look, thank you. But I’m really tired, Joel.”

She said it without looking at him, her voice level, no bite to it. Just a statement. A locked door. He should’ve expected it, should’ve shrugged it off and moved on. Instead, something about the words, directed at him, sat wrong inside him. All that hurt-people-hurt-people-drivel that Maria used to say came back to bite him in the ass.

He hesitated, shifting his weight onto his feet. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I should get going.”

She said nothing. Just shut off the faucet, dried her hands on a towel, and walked past him, close enough that the damp heat of her skin lingered for half a second longer than it should have. And despite fighting the urge to glance back at her as she left the room, he watched her disappear down the hall.

Joel stood outside her door for a long moment, which he had conscientiously locked, staring at the chipped paint of the doorframe, jaw clenching. His eyes flicked to the porch swing. It swayed slightly in the cold breeze.

Was it juvenile to think maybe she’d prefer his company? Was it fucking brainless of him to crave somewhere to belong? A purpose? Was he meant to die alone in a strange house and surrounded by empty whiskey bottles? Maybe. Probably. But hell if he didn’t wish it anyway.

Joel didn’t want to admit it—not directly, not even to himself—but he wanted to talk to her. Not about anything in particular. Not about that night in the Maranello, or how her little, breathy laugh was possibly the best thing to hear after those roars and clicks of the world beyond, or why she’d started looking at him instead of through him.

He just wanted something. Because before, there had been something. It wasn’t like talking to most people, where you had to pick your words apart before they even left your mouth, where you had to navigate bullshit small talk or forced pleasantries. With Leela, it had been... easy. Unspoken. A warm kind of quiet, the kind where he didn’t have to think too much, where he could just be.

He'll admit it, just this once—he liked that about her. He liked that a moment didn’t have to be forced. That he didn’t have to overthink, that they had a rhythm, a delicate system between them, one that made sense even if neither of them ever put words to it.

But now?

Now, she barely looked at him. Nowadays, when she passed Maya to him, it wasn’t with that quiet, knowing ease or a friendly grin, no matter how tired it had been—it was mechanical, transactional, like handing over a set of keys. Like a reminder that he wasn’t supposed to be here, and he didn’t know what to call that. Didn’t like the way it made his instincts turn over, uneasy, in his chest.

All that lingering had finally paid off, and Joel had found his way in. He wasn’t going to show it, of course—wasn’t gonna give himself away like some fool—but damn if he wasn’t relieved.

After days of unending cold shoulders, after all that stiff distance, this was the first real opening he’d gotten. An excuse. A way to talk to her without forcing it.

He had been fixing a flickering wall lamp that had been bugging him for some time now, in the second-floor hallway, standing on a step stool when—

CRASH.

The whole house plunged into darkness. The light he’d been working on blinked out, along with the rest of them, and then—a groan. A pained, breathy, hitched groan from below. His entire body tensed before his brain caught up.

Then came the wailing. Maya.

Joel’s heart stammered, caught between two instincts. The damn near gutting sound of the baby girl's frightened cries and that groan—that voice—he'd distinctly heard from the basement.

Fuck. His feet moved before his mind did. He leapt off the stool, tools cluttering to the floor, ignoring the protesting ache in his knees as he tore down the hall to Maya’s room. She was red-faced, eyes squeezed shut, fists curled as she screamed, trembling from the shock.

"Hey, hey, Maya," Joel hushed, scooping her up into his arms, and pulling her against his chest. "S'okay, sweetheart. I got you. I got you."

He shushed her, palm stroking warm circles over her back, bouncing her lightly in his arms. His heartbeat was loud, hammering in his ears, drowning everything out but the damn groan still hanging in his mind.

Leela.

She was down there, in that cursed basement, alone. And that sound had been awful.

Joel exhaled sharply through his nose, pressing his lips to Maya’s head before pulling back. More for himself rather than her.

“I'm right here, baby. Nothin’ to be scared of.” His voice was steady—measured—but his hands weren’t. His grip on her was a little too tight. They trembled a little.

Maya sniffled, her cries quieting just enough to slow his pulse, and he took that as his chance. Keeping her tucked to his chest, he made his way down the stairs, near flying, boots thudding against the wood.

His breath hitched as he reached the basement door. “Hey, you down here?” he called, shoving it open with his shoulder, jogging down to the dim space below.

Then he saw her.

Leela was slumped against the wall, obvious that she had been tossed into it, her silhouette barely lit by the glare of an emergency lamp in the corner. She was gripping her shoulder fiercely, rubbing it like she was trying to erase the pain. Her fingers dug in hard.

The remnants of her little "science project" upgrade lay scattered around her. Loose wires, metal scraps, a circuit board still humming with life. The main plug socket was connected. Was she fucking stupid? There was a baby upstairs, and she was ready to risk her home for that dumbass machine.

And her face—Fuck. She had gone pale. Eyes squeezed shut. Her chest rose and fell like she was working through an intense wave of pain.

“Christ.” The word came out more like a breath than anything. Joel took a step forward, but when his eyes landed on the tangled wires, something burned under his ribs.

“The hell do you think you’re doin’?” His voice came out rougher than intended, fear clawing at his throat, disguising itself as frustration.

Leela’s eyes fluttered open, hazy but sharp. “I’m okay. I’ll be fine.” She held up a hand to stop him before he could kneel down beside her. “Just a bit of bruising. Maya first.”

Joel clenched his jaw.

She was right. Damn it, he hated that she was right. Maya, now hiccupping soft little breaths against his chest, was the priority.

“Right,” he muttered, though the reluctance in his voice was clear. He cast her one last look, making sure she was still upright, still breathing normal, before turning back up the stairs.

It took ten whole minutes to get Maya settled, and that was a miracle in itself. He'd resorted to pleading under his breath, but she had continued to watch him, eyes wide, refusing to let sleep take her like she knew something was wrong. She was perceptive. Just like her mother.

Finally, finally, her little lashes fluttered shut, her tiny hand still gripping onto his shirt.

Joel exhaled, relief going awash his tension. “Good girl,” he murmured, before unfurling her fingers from his collar, brushing a kiss over them and laying her back down.

Then he was sprinting again. Back down the stairs, faster than he should have been, hand gripping the railing tight.

Leela hadn’t moved much. She was still slumped against the basement wall, her breaths deep and restrained—like she was trying to breathe the pain away.

Joel came down to a crouch by her feet. “Hey.”

“I'm fine, Joel, really,” she assured quietly.

Though, he could tell she was pissed at herself. She hated being like this—vulnerable, hurting, unable to brush it off and acting like it didn’t happen. But Joel saw it. He saw her. How she'd tilted her head against the wall, eyes staring vacantly at the ceiling.

Leela truly was fine. Bruised, rattled—but fine.

Joel had checked her over once more, ensuring nothing was broken, no serious harm done, and he had to force himself to believe her when she said she’d be okay.

But her hands. Oh, Christ. The dim glow of the emergency lamp cast a dull shine over her skin, and that’s when he noticed—the raw, reddened patches along her fingertips. The unmistakable burn marks where the electricity must’ve bit into her.

"Shit." He exhaled sharply through his nose, scraping a hand down his beard as he stared at her fingers.

She must’ve seen the look on his face because she tucked her hands close to her stomach like she could make them disappear. “Seriously,” she murmured, voice hoarse. “I’ve had worse.”

Joel’s jaw ticked. She wasn’t wrong. And that made something in him burn even hotter.

“C’mon,” he muttered, nodding toward the stairs. “Up.”

Leela hesitated, but the way he stood—the way he waited—made it clear he wasn’t asking. So she sighed and pushed herself upright, and Joel stayed close, arms extended safely around her, watching the way she moved, the way her body reacted.

She didn’t stumble. Didn’t wobble. That was good. No concussion or broken bones. A knot in his chest loosened instantly.

Once they made it back upstairs, Joel had her sit at the kitchen table, lit up from the sunshine filtering through from the afternoon sun. He set a bowl of warm water down in front of her, the steam curling into the space between them. He grabbed a small tin of ointment after a bit of rustling through the cabinets, then a roll of gauze, then paused, eyes flicking to her.

She was watching him. Still. Silent. Waiting.

Joel breathed out, slow and even, then came back over, pulling a chair beside her. He reached for her wrist, gently, carefully, lifting her hands into his own. A silent ask. Permission. Lesson learned from the last time he'd touched her.

Leela tensed for half a second before sighing, letting him take them.

She was trying to play it off like it didn’t hurt. Like it was fine. But as soon as he dipped her fingertips into the warm water, she sucked in a quiet breath through her teeth.

Joel’s grip tightened just a little. He tried to squeeze everything he had felt these past few days into a single word—“Sorry.”

He worked, taking it slow, gently swiping away the dust and grime, watching the way her skin flinched under the heat. His thumbs moved gradually, steadily, like he was afraid to make it worse.

“Y’gotta be more careful,” he muttered, more to himself than to her. “Damn wires ain’t worth all this. Remember, you’ve got someone countin’ on you.”

Leela let out a soft, tired laugh. “I didn’t know I had a nanny now.”

Joel shot her a look. “You don’t. You got me.”

She blinked at that.

Her lips parted slightly, but whatever she was about to say, she thought better of it. Instead, she let him work, let him take care of her, and trusted his instincts, and that felt like something neither of them was ready to acknowledge just yet.

Once her hands were cleaned, he dried them carefully, mindful of the more sensitive spots, before smoothing ointment over each burnt fingertip.

Leela twitched. “Ow.”

Joel grunted. “Ain’t gonna feel good, but it’ll keep it from blisterin’ too bad.”

He finished wrapping the gauze around her fingers, slow and precise, making sure they weren’t too tight. Leela stared down at her hands when he was done, flexing her fingers slightly, testing the bandages like she wasn’t sure what to make of them. Three fingers on each hand.

Joel blew out a slow breath, dragging a hand down his face as he took in the house.

It was quiet. Too damn quiet. God, he hated this. That unnatural kind, where something had been cut short too suddenly—like the whole place had been stunned into silence. The shot-out lights overhead blinked weakly before finally dying out for good, leaving nothing but the cold creeping in from every corner.

It was already setting in. The draft slithered through the cracks in the windows, curling around his ankles, and sinking into the wood beneath his feet. The thermostat had shut off along with the rest of the power, which meant no heat. Not with how damn cold it got out here. Jesus, he'd forgotten to tuck some extra layers around Maya.

His eyes swept the room. A busted power grid. A rattled woman nursing bruises. A two-month-old baby upstairs who didn’t know a damn thing about survival, who didn’t understand that warmth wasn’t something she could just take for granted.

And this woman—this stubborn, frustrating woman—was already trying to stand up like she hadn’t just been thrown into a wall.

"I'll go check it out. Don't worry, Joel, I know what to do," Leela offered, pushing herself up.

Joel shot out a hand, firm, stopping her before she could get any further.

"You ain't fixin’ shit, you hear me?" His voice came out rougher than he intended, but hell if he cared. "Sit your damn ass down. You're stayin' at my place till I get this sorted."

The prospect did not sit well with her. He could see it in the way her jaw clenched, her eyes flicking to the window like she was already searching for another solution.

She shook her head. "I can't—"

"That's not an option."

She looked at him then, her brows drawing together. And he knew what she saw—knew she saw that hard-set determination in his face, the part of him that had already made up his mind.

What she didn’t see—what he’d never let her see—was the way his chest was burning with something too tight, too damn close to fear.

Because he’d walked into cold houses before. Knew what happened when the temperature dropped too low. Had seen bodies frozen stiff in the middle of the night, curled up as if that had been enough to keep them warm. Had seen what happened when people thought they could tough it out. He'd rather never see or smell that ever again.

Now, Leela thought she could tough it out. But he wasn’t about to let her gamble with a baby’s warmth just to prove a damn point. And if she thought this was some kind of negotiation, she was dead wrong. Because he wasn’t giving her a choice.

He exhaled slowly, grounding himself, softening the edges just enough so he wasn’t barking orders at her like some kind of drill sergeant.

“Just for a while,” he said, voice dropping lower. “Till I can fix whatever the hell you fucked up down there.”

Leela didn’t answer right away, lips pressing into a thin line. But she wasn’t stupid.

She glanced up toward the stairs, toward where Maya was still sleeping. Then back at him. Joel could see the exact moment she gave in. Her shoulders slumped as she relented.

He nodded, standing up, already running through what needed to be done. “Good. I'll go bundle up the kid.”

X

Joel hasn't exactly planned to have company. Ever.

Maria and Tommy showed up sometimes. Ellie, too—though not without complaint. She claimed the place smelled like old people and swore visiting would tank her cool factor. But even when they came around, he never let them stay too long. Ten minutes, maybe fifteen, before he was ushering them out the door with a gruff, Alright, get on, and some excuse about needing to be up early. It wasn’t that he didn’t like having people around. It was just—his place wasn’t made for that. He hadn’t made it for that.

It was single floor, nice and compact. He slept on the pullout couch in the living room. Not because he didn’t have that one really sweet bedroom, but because it was easier nowadays—closer to the door, closer to the window that faced the big white house across the street. His sink was a mess of dishes from last night, crusted over and rotting in the stale air. His cabinets weren’t stocked with food so much as they were with whiskey and coffee.

He came home. He ate. He slept. He woke up. Showered. Left. That was it. That was his life. It was enough and to spare.

So when Leela and Maya showed up at his front door, he wasn’t prepared. Not in the slightest.

He scrubbed a hand over his jaw, stepping aside to let her in. “Come on, then.”

Leela ducked inside first, shaking the cold from her coat, eyes flicking around the place as if she were already judging him for it. And maybe she was. Hell, Joel sure as shit would. Because this—this eyesore—was how she was gonna see him. As some tired, deadbeat old man who hadn’t even tried.

Maya stirred against her chest, her little hands fisting in the collar of Leela’s coat.

Joel cleared his throat and reached for her automatically. He needed his calm here. “C’mere, baby girl.”

She squealed at the sound of his voice, squirming, her small fingers flexing, gripping the fabric of his flannel before she finally settled against him, warm and soft. Joel let out a quiet breath through his nose, a strange kind of tightness unwinding from his ribs. He hadn’t even realized he’d been bracing for something.

“She can stay with me,” Leela said softly, slipping out of her coat.

Joel shook his head. “Nah, you get some rest. You’re takin’ the room down the hall.”

Leela blinked, surprised. “And you?”

Joel busied himself with Maya, playing catch and release with her tiny fists, letting her grab onto his finger before slipping it away. “I’ll be fine. Got the couch.”

She frowned. “But you’ve got that bad back.”

Joel sighed, jaw twitching. “Yes, ma'am. Thanks for noticin’.”

Leela’s mouth quirked slightly, just a little, but enough that it softened something in her expression. “You should take the bed, Joel.”

He hummed, shaking his head, shifting Maya a little higher against his chest. “You just shot into a wall and burned yourself, darlin’. I think you’re entitled to a bed.”

She tilted her head at him, her brow pinching together like she was trying to figure something out.

Joel stared back, more stubborn than apprehensive, his grip tightening just a fraction around Maya’s small body.

He wasn’t sure what it was, that look of hers. But damn if it didn’t make him feel like he was seen in a way he wasn’t used to. Like she was really looking at him—not the grumpy bastard everyone in Jackson thought he was, not the fixer, not the old guy sleeping his way through life—but him.

Joel shifted on his feet, clearing his throat. “Look, you’re takin’ the bed, that’s that. Maya can sleep next to you, so she’ll be closer.”

Leela was still staring at him, quiet for a long beat.

Then eventually she sighed. “Okay.”

It wasn’t much, but it felt like that little something Joel had wanted. Like an inch of the cold between them had finally cracked, let some warmth in.

Look, of course, Joel had always known his house was too damn small. He just hadn’t felt it until now.

There was no privacy to be had, not really. The pullout couch in the living room faced the bedroom door, left cracked open just enough for him to see the gentle rise and fall of Maya’s little body curled against where Leela would sleep later. The bathroom was the only one in the house, meaning if she needed it in the middle of the night, she’d have to walk past him to get there.

Not much space. Not much distance.

So when he heard the soft shuffle of her feet against the wood floor, he wasn’t surprised. He didn’t even have to look up from the guitar in his hands to know she’d wandered further inside, drawn toward the small corner of the living room where he kept his workspace.

It was a cramped setup—a shabby studio table shoved against the wall, two half-finished guitars resting on stands nearby. He’d only just started working on them, but it gave his hands something to do, something to create.

Leela’s fingers grazed over the unfinished wood, her touch featherlight. “I didn’t know you were this talented. A luthier.”

Joel chuckled, leaning back against the wall. “Layin’ it on a bit thick.”

She ignored him, curiosity guiding her hands as she thumbed over the strings. A quiet hum vibrated through the air, not a real note, just a sound. She tilted her head, listening.

“Would you make one for me when you have time to spare?” she asked, glancing up. “I’d love to learn.”

Joel almost laughed, because—yeah. Yeah, he’d drop dead before refusing that. “‘Course,” he said, voice low but certain.

Leela’s eyes found it too easily, drawn in like a moth to an old light. He almost wished he'd hid it away.

The picture that had survived time and death, sat on the corner shelf, tucked between a coil of guitar strings and a worn-out rag, the frame dull with dust he never bothered to wipe away. The glass was cracked, a thin vein running through the top left corner, but it didn’t matter. The image was still there. She was still there.

Sarah, grinning wide, her curls bouncing as she leaned into him, arms slung around his shoulders. Joel remembered that day. He’d taken her out to some shitty little carnival on the edge of town, and let her sucker him into one of those rigged ring toss games. She’d won a stuffed bear—cheated, more like, because the booth worker had taken pity on her—and held onto it the whole night like it was the greatest thing in the world.

She looked happy. They looked happy.

And it hit him—like it always did, like it always would—how long it had been since he’d last heard her voice. Since she’d called him 'Dad!' in that exasperated, teasing way of hers. Since she’d looked at him like he was the safest place she’d ever known.

Leela didn’t say anything. She didn’t even reach for it, didn’t let her gaze linger too long. Just acknowledged it, felt it, then moved past it, like she understood that some ghosts weren’t meant to be disturbed. Let them rest.

Joel swallowed. It wasn’t often that someone gave him that kind of space—left his past untouched, let him sit with it without trying to crack it open.

She leaned back against the edge of the desk, brushing her fingers through her hair again—one of those little habits of hers, nervous and absentminded. The strands were overgrown, frayed at the ends, and he knew she probably didn’t have the time to fix it, or maybe just didn’t care enough to. He should tell Maria to give her a trim.

But, she wasn’t wearing that pearl-buttoned nightdress tonight. This one was blue. Smooth. Loose-fitting. The frilled sleeves barely touched her shoulders, and it wasn’t anything special, not really, but—he liked it. That colour looked pretty on her skin.

The thought settled in his chest like an itch he didn’t know how to scratch.

Leela watched her fingers trail absently over the wood grain of the desk. “I owe you an apology, Joel,” she murmured, her voice quieter now.

Joel listened and didn’t speak, just let the words settle between them.

“For how I’ve been treating you.” She swallowed, gaze flicking up to him, uncertain but steady. “You’ve only ever helped me, and you're so good with Maya. I know it wasn’t fair of me to just… shut you out.”

Joel exhaled sharply through his nose, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

But she wasn’t convinced. She hesitated, jaw tensing, lips parting slightly before pressing shut again. There was something she wanted to say like it was dislodged deep, festering, in her chest.

“That night in the car…” She took a breath like it might help balance her. It didn’t. “It wasn't you. I had—before Maya, I was—there was—”

Joel knew that look. The way her throat bobbed, her fingers curling against the desk like she needed something solid to hold onto. Holding herself together. He didn’t let her unravel, just not tonight.

“Stop,” he said, gentle but firm. “You don’t have to explain.”

Leela blinked at him, studying his face, like she was trying to decide if he meant it. So he shrugged, forcing a small, easy grin.

“Perks of havin’ me around. I don’t care for the details.”

A small breath of laughter escaped her. Real, unguarded, softening the edges of her face. He loved to see it on her. “That's a relief.”

Joel leaned forward, rubbing his palm over his knee, the dull ache settling in from the long day.

His voice was lower when he spoke. “It’s just nice to be there, y’know?” He wasn’t good at this—saying shit like this—but it began to get easier with her. “With Maya. And you. There's more purpose than just shooting things beyond the fence.”

Something flickered across Leela’s face.

Her fingers brushed the edge of the desk, and her knuckles paled with how tightly she gripped it. “You’re welcome home anytime, Joel. My door’s always open for you.”

Joel’s chest pulled tight.

He looked at her. And he thought about that damn oak door, how she never locked it, how he’d always given her hell for it in his head. And how, for the first time, it didn’t feel like carelessness.

It felt like trust. Not in this boring town of survivors. But in the neighbour across the street who'd ferreted his way into their lives.

Leela took a slow breath, glancing down before meeting his eyes again. “So, you don’t have to come around just to fix things next time.”

Her voice was softer now. And then—something else. A small, almost shy laugh slipped past her lips, barely there, like she wasn’t sure she was allowed to say this next part out loud.

“Come to eat. To talk. To see Maya.” A beat. “And me.”

Joel felt it then—the shift. It wasn’t big, wasn’t some grand, earth-shaking thing. But it was there. He felt it.

"Maya loves you so much."

Joel glanced at her, unable to hold back the sympathy. He should’ve just let it sit. Should’ve just nodded, grunted something, and let the conversation move on. But instead, he said, low, “That bothering you?”

Leela hesitated, but only for a second. Then she sighed, rubbing a hand over her neck. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Maybe.”

Joel stayed quiet, watching her.

She let out a quiet, humourless laugh. “It’s just... I don’t feel like her mother. Not really.” Her voice was even, but he could hear the strain underneath, the sharp edge of something she didn’t want to say aloud. “I do everything I’m supposed to. Feed her. Hold her. Change her. But it’s just... a list to get through.” She exhaled, shaking her head. “I thought it would be different. I know it's such an awful thing to say.”

Joel felt that like a punch to the gut. He knew what she meant. Knew how goddamn isolating it could be—to go through the motions, do the right thing, and still feel like you’re on the outside looking in.

“She’s yours, darlin',” he said after a moment. He wasn’t good at this kind of thing—at making sense of feelings, at giving comfort. He was trying. “That’s what matters. Sometimes it's not a magic switch, you can't just flip it on and feel it. Sometimes, you grow to love someone. Over time, energy, effort.”

Leela scoffed, quiet, barely there. “That all it takes?”

“No,” Joel admitted. “But it’s good enough.”

She finally looked at him then, something cautious in her expression, something raw. He didn’t push. Didn’t try to say anything else. Just let the silence stretch, easy and open, not asking for more than she was willing to give.

Leela swallowed, nodding slightly, like she was tucking the words away, considering them.

The space between them, once weighed down by hesitation, by careful sidesteps and unspoken rules, felt… lighter. Like the tension that had settled into the cracks between their words was finally easing, letting some warmth slip through.

And that? That did something to him.

His throat worked around something unspoken, and he rolled his shoulders back, shifting from feet to feet, like he could physically shake whatever the hell was loose inside him. The words that wanted to come didn’t.

Instead, he settled on something simpler. Something safer.

“You should get some rest.”

Leela’s gaze lingered, searching, like she was trying to read something in his face. Then she nodded, flashing a grin. “Sure,” she murmured. “Goodnight, Joel.”

Joel held her gaze for a moment longer. His fingers flexed at his sides, a familiar itch settling in his chest, the kind that always came when he stood in doorways when someone was walking away and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to follow or stay put.

He watched her retreat into the room, disappear behind the cracked door, and stand there for a moment before finally turning away.

The door was open again. And that was the thing about doors.

They worked both ways.

X

While on the road, Joel had spent years sleeping in places that barely counted as beds. Hard ground. Rusted truck seats. Creaking, sagging mattresses in abandoned buildings where one wrong turn meant waking up dead. Even now, safe inside these walls, inside this town where people thought fences and routine were enough to keep the bad out, behind homes with locked doors—well, should have locked doors—he never truly slept deep.

Always on alert. Always half-ready. Even in the comfort of a home he could call his.

Joel lay on the couch, stiff as the thing itself, staring into the rough fabric. He wasn’t asleep—he never really was—but he kept his back turned anyway. It felt like the right thing to do, a courtesy or some form of privacy in a house too damn small to actually have any.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that. Long enough for the warmth of the fire to ebb. Long enough to hear the wind pick up outside, rattling at the windows. Long enough to wonder if Leela had finally managed to fall asleep.

He exhaled through his nose and, without really thinking about it, rolled over onto his side, eyes shifting toward the bedroom.

Leela was out cold.

Her hair had been pulled back into a loose braid, but strands had escaped, curling softly against her cheek. One hand dangled into the mattress as if she’d fallen asleep patting Maya and never quite finished. He could see the slow rise and fall of her chest, deep and steady, her body given over to exhaustion.

Joel frowned as his eyes drifted lower. The blanket had slipped, barely covering her waist, her legs left bare to the chill of the night. One knee peeked out, the curve of it catching the dim, murky light of the bedside lamp. He felt his jaw tighten, his fingers flexing at his side. Wasn’t she cold?

But then his eyes landed on the baby in front of her, and the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding eased right out of him.

Maya was not asleep. Flat on her back, legs kicking sharp, barbed movements, her tiny fingers flexing in the air, opening and closing like she was trying to grab something invisible. Every so often, she let out a soft little coo, her breath light, testing, careful not to wake her mother.

Joel squinted. Lifted his head a little. Maybe she was just shifting in her sleep.

Nope, the kid was fully awake. Big, round eyes blinking up at the ceiling, mouth open in a little round ‘o’ of discovery, her hands reaching for her own damn feet, like she’d only just realized they were attached to her.

He huffed, rubbing a hand over his face. He could just leave her be. She wasn’t crying. Wasn’t fussing. She'd fall asleep on her own.

But then she spotted him.

Her entire little body bucked, like the excitement was too much for her tiny limbs to contain. A bright, panting laugh bubbled from her mouth, and her hands curled, fists flailing like wanted to launch herself toward her.

Joel sighed. That was it. No walking away now.

Ignoring the slow, persistent cramp in his back, he shifted, pressing his hands into the pullout and pushing himself upright. His knees popped when he stood, and he winced, rolling his shoulders as he made his way into the bedroom. The floor groaned under his feet, but Leela didn’t stir. She was too far gone, too lost to the bruises and the exhaustion pressing her under.

Maya, on the other hand—beamed up at him, wiggling harder, completely unbothered by the late hour, her tiny hands batting at the air.

Joel sighed through his nose and crouched down beside the bed. He held up a finger to his lips. “Ssh, ssh,” he murmured like she had any damn understanding of the concept.

Her fists continued to flail, little feet kicking the air, and he sighed, leaning down to scoop her up. She fit into his arms easily, the way she always did—small and naming the nook to herself, all warm skin and bundled sleepiness. Sleep fired right out of his system.

“You're gonna wake your poor mama,” he whispered to her.

Shifting Maya against his chest, he glanced at Leela again. She hadn’t moved a muscle, fast asleep. But the blanket had slipped low, barely covering her waist, her arms left uncovered to the cold.

Joel hesitated for only a second before leaning over, taking the edge of the comforter and tucking it around her, careful not to wake her. The fabric pooled at her shoulder, and she sighed quietly in her sleep, sinking into the warmth of the bed, but not waking.

Good. She was finally catching up on sleep. When was the last time he'd seen that girl rest? Never. She'd always woken up the earliest, wandering between her papers and blackboards in the living room.

Maya let out a content little hum against his shoulder, and Joel blew out a breath, stepping back out of the bedroom and into the dimly lit living room. He wasn’t going to bother putting her back on the bed. She was too awake for that.

Instead, he plunged back onto the couch, settling into the cushions and adjusting her against his chest. She curled into him easily, her featherlight weight pressing against his ribs. She hummed again, a soft, breathy little thing, and then—one of her fists landed against his sternum with a dull thump.

Joel huffed, peering down at her. “You tryin’ to knock the wind outta me, trouble?”

Maya lifted her head to blink up again, dark eyes round and glassy in the dim light, looking like she had something important to say. Then her fist lifted again, this time smacking more of a lazy pat than anything with real intent.

He narrowed a playful glare on her, shifting her a little higher against him. He poked at her cheek. “We got some problems, or is this just your way of lettin’ me know you’re still awake?”

She didn’t answer—fucking obviously—but she did something close to it. Her mouth rounded in a small, exaggerated ooh, and her fingers fumbled against his shirt before one of them caught onto his.

Joel felt the soft, clumsy pull of her grip, then the unmistakable wet warmth of her mouth closing around the tip of his finger.

He grimaced, but not in any real discomfort. “Great, there you go. You're lucky you're so beautiful.”

Maya suckled lazily, brows furrowing like she was concentrating really hard on the task, and Joel exhaled, letting her gnaw as much as she wanted.

Joel stared at the ceiling, his fingers absentmindedly rubbing slow, careful circles against her back.

She was a happier baby now. Not screaming. Not crying as much. Just there. Comfortable and safe.

He swallowed against the feeling mashing against his ribs. His jaw unclenched, let his head fall back against the couch, eyes slipping shut. And he let out the longest breath known to man.

It had been years—years since he’d felt this weight, this warmth, this need pressed against him. It was a different life, a different world, but somehow, it wasn’t. His body still knew this, still remembered the rhythm of it, the quiet intimacy of a baby trusting him enough to just be here, curled up against his chest, with no fear, no hesitation.

And goddamn him, but he loved it. Loved the small breaths puffing against his collarbone. Loved the way she looked up at him, slow and sleepy, tapping her tiny knuckles against him like she was checking to make sure he was still there. Loved that he didn't have to think about anything, not feel like the whole world was closing in.

Loved this.

He wasn’t thinking about the past. No, he wasn’t. But if he was, he sure as hell wouldn’t admit it.

The sound of the front door unlocking jolted him.

Joel’s eyes snapped open, his entire body tensing for a fight as his hand instinctively curled around Maya’s small back, protective, ready. His other hand curled into a loose fist at his thigh.

The door eased open with a quiet creak, and a familiar silhouette stepped inside.

Ellie.

“Joel?” she whispered, peering at him in confusion.

Joel just stared at her. Not because she was here—she was always stopping by when she damn well pleased—but because for the first time in his life, he was the one who forgot to lock the damn door.

Maya shifted against his chest, making a soft noise, her tiny fingers still curled around his. Joel gave her a small, reassuring bounce as if she’d needed one.

Ellie, meanwhile, was still standing there, taking in the sight of him on the couch, a whole baby in his arms, and the bedroom door cracked open just enough to hint at the woman asleep inside. The pretty neighbour that had Joel all riled up.

Her eyebrows lifted and mouth twitched as she crossed her arms. “This isn’t a hostage situation, right? Am I an accomplice now?”

Joel sent her a flat look. “Whatever gave that away?”

Ellie then continued to stare at him and at Maya.

It was the kind of look Joel had gotten used to over the years, the one where she tried to figure out if she was hallucinating. Because she’d seen Joel Miller do a lot of things—wrangle Clickers, nurse a cold one, fix up a rifle—but sitting on his couch, cradling a whole-ass baby like that? It was a new one. Like unlocking a new character in a video game.

Her lips pressed together, eyes still flicking between him and the kid, and then—she snorted.

“Oh, man,” she whispered, shaking her head, a shit-eating grin spreading over her face. “I wish I had a camera to capture this gold.”

Joel sighed. “Alright, get on with it.”

Grinning, Ellie plopped herself down beside him, the whole couch shaking, immediately leaning in close to peer at Maya. Almost as if she was the first infant she'd seen in her life.

“Hi, baby,” she cooed, voice going all high-pitched and ridiculous. “Hiiii.”

Maya blinked at her, unmoving, her fists curled safely in her mouth, her tiny brows furrowing as if she were trying to figure out just who the hell this new person was.

Ellie wiggled a finger in front of her. “Here. Go on, grab it.”

Maya did not. She just kept staring, eyes wide, mouth slightly open, utterly mystified by the sudden intrusion.

Joel huffed. “Guess she ain’t impressed.”

“Guess she’s got taste, you dick,” Ellie shot back. Then, her face softened, a little smirk curling her lips. “She’s fucking adorable. Look at those eyes, damn.” Joel barely had time to process the warmth that spread through his chest before Ellie tacked on, “So, definitely not yours.”

His scoff came out before he could stop it. “Oh, real funny, kid.”

Ellie chuckled, finally settling back against the couch, still watching Maya like she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. “How come they’re here?”

Joel didn’t go into the details, never liked to. About Leela’s bruises, about how she’d been too damn stubborn for her own good, about how he’d practically had to drag her in here to sleep in his bed.

Instead, he just muttered, “Blackout. Gonna head back in the morning and check it out.”

Ellie hummed like she knew there was more to it but didn’t feel like prying.

For a while, they just sat there in silence, and Joel simply let himself watch. The room was dim, the fire in the hearth burned low, throwing flickering shadows across the worn wooden floors. The cold pressed against the windows, creeping in through the cracks, but in here, it was warm—quiet, steady. Both in him and around him.

Ellie leaned in closer, her breath puffing softly against Maya’s round little cheek as she wiggled her fingers in front of her face. “What about this? You like this?” she murmured, tapping her tiny nose, and making a series of stupid clicking sounds.

Maya blinked, floored by this, her wide eyes tracking Ellie’s every move like she was watching the most fascinating thing in the world.

It took another few moments, but then—finally—Maya’s tiny fingers reached out, wrapping shyly around Ellie’s outstretched one. Not tight, not possessive, just curious. Testing.

Joel felt that feeling again, twisting deep in his ribs, imperceptive and calm and unnameable. He could get used to that feeling. It plugged every scar, physical and mental, until his shoulders felt ten times lighter.

The kid he’d sort of raised, playing with the baby he was yet to.

And for the first time in a long time, that muddle just… settled. It was late, too late in life for this kind of thing. But hell, cut him some slack.

Joel exhaled slowly, staring into the last of the fire, watching as the embers pulsed and flickered, struggling to stay alive. His hand absently smoothed over Maya’s back, following the slow rise and fall of her breathing, feeling the tiny weight of her against his chest. She was still. Not fussing. Just there.

Ellie shifted beside him, stretching her legs out, resting her arms against her knees. She wasn’t in a hurry to fill the silence. She just sat there, watching him in that way of hers, like she saw more than she let on.

“So,” she finally said, voice casual. “How’re things between you and…?”

She didn’t need to finish the sentence. Just flicked her chin toward the bedroom.

Leela was still dead to the world, sunk into the kind of sleep that didn’t let you turn over, didn’t let you dream. Her hand had slipped out from beneath the blanket, fingers curled loosely against the mattress. He wondered how long it had been since she’d let herself rest like that, without one ear open for some threat, without her body coiled tight, waiting for the next hang-up.

Joel looked away. He shifted slightly, adjusting Maya, keeping his voice even. “There’s nothing between us.”

Ellie hummed like she wasn’t buying it. “Yeah, no shit.” She stretched her arms behind her head, smirking. “She’s way out of your league.”

Joel snorted, shaking his head. “No argument here.”

He didn’t need Ellie to tell him that. He was thickheaded, but he wasn't blind. Leela was… Leela. Stunning in that exotic way, compassionate as a human, insanely intelligent. And him? What was he exactly, a cut-throat? A fighter? A relentless fucking human who just refused to die? Twenty years ago, a woman like that wouldn’t have given him the time of day, much less a second glance. A girl like her, back in the world before, would’ve had a whole life ahead of her, a whole set of possibilities. Not this. Not him.

And maybe that’s how it should’ve been. Maybe that’s why this didn’t make any sense.

He tensed his grip on Maya and felt the way she instinctively burrowed against him, curling her little fingers into the fabric of his shirt. She cooed again, watching his mouth move to form words.

He could be something for her. If Leela wanted it, he could carve out a space in Maya's life, be her constant, be her safety net. Hell, be this baby girl's father. He would compromise in a blink. That was different. That was right.

But having Leela herself? That was something else entirely. That was dangerous. That was selfish. There were too many ways it could go wrong. Too many ways it would end badly.

Not because of him, or her, or anything either of them did—just because that was the way life went. He wasn’t made for this kind of thing anymore. Wasn’t built for it. He was too damn old, too set in his ways. And even if she—somehow—wanted this, wanted him, what then? How long until he fucked it up? How long until he lost it?

The way he always did.

He swallowed hard. “I’m too old for her,” he managed to mutter.

Ellie scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You're fucking kidding. The world ended. There is no standard. And you still care about what, an age gap? Brownie points? Jesus, Joel. You've been through too much to care.”

Joel didn’t answer right away. Just kept his gaze on the fire, jaw tight.

It wasn’t about that. It wasn’t about how it looked or what people would say. Hell, no one would care. He wouldn't care. They were past that kind of bullshit.

But that didn’t mean it wasn’t still impossible.

Because Joel knew himself. He knew what it was like to want something real, to care about someone so much it hollowed you out from the inside. And he knew how fast it could all go to hell.

It was about the fact that she still had so much time. That she could still find someone real, someone better. That she deserved more than a haunted, greying man, who could barely sleep through the night, combing through his days, who lived waiting for the next thing to go wrong.

And she deserved better than a man too tired, too worn down by life, to give her more than what little he had left.

Ellie sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. “Y’know…” she started, then stopped.

Joel glanced at her, brow furrowing slightly.

She didn’t go on right away. Just drummed her fingers against her knee, staring into the fire, her face unreadable. For once, she wasn’t running her mouth, wasn’t making a joke to cut through whatever was settling between them. She was thinking. That alone put him on edge.

Finally, she said, “It’s different. These last few weeks. Even Tommy sees it.”

Joel frowned, not at the words themselves, but at the way she said them—slow, cautious, like she wasn’t just talking to him but trying to make sense of it for herself.

Ellie had always been good at reading him, sometimes better than he wanted. But this—this was different.

She flitted her gaze toward the bedroom, where Leela was still out cold, her body barely stirring under the blankets. Then to Maya, curled up against him, tiny fingers tangled in his shirt, her soft weight pressed into his chest. Finally, she looked back at him.

She didn’t spell it out. Didn’t need to.

Joel swallowed, shifting slightly where he sat, adjusting Maya’s weight in his arms. His hand smoothed down her back, more out of habit than anything else. He glanced toward the bedroom too, toward Leela, who hadn’t moved an inch. Yes, it was different.

But Ellie wasn’t done. She hesitated, rolling something over in her head before finally letting it out.

“It’s… good, y’know? You having this nice thing.” She waved a vague hand toward the baby, toward Leela. “You don't usually let yourself have nice things. Something that’s not just me.”

Joel’s breath caught.

Ellie had always been his reason for waking up in the morning, the one thing keeping him tethered to whatever life he had left. And she knew that. Knew it in the way she carried herself, in the way she fought with tooth and claw to prove she didn’t need him to keep her standing. That he had his own life. But now, sitting there, she wasn’t mocking, wasn’t teasing. She was just… saying it. And she was goddamn right.

For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t just pushing forward because he had to, wasn’t just surviving out of habit. He wasn’t looking over his shoulder, waiting for the axe to fall.

He had something to come back to. Something steady. Something small and warm and his, even if he didn’t know what the hell to do with it yet.

He looked down at Maya, at her tiny, trusting weight in his arms, at the way she twitched slightly in her sleep, lips parting around a breath. His hand smoothed over her back again.

Ellie saw the moment it clicked. The way his face shifted, just slightly. She smirked, satisfied. And that her good work here was done.

Then, just like that, she clapped her hands on her knees and stood up. “Well,” she said, voice slipping back into that familiar teasing lilt, “guess I’ll let you get back to your hostage situation.”

Joel rolled his eyes, settling deeper into the couch as Maya nuzzled against his chest. The kid was out cold now, her little fist still tangled in his shirt.

Ellie was already heading for the door when she threw out in a whisper, “Oh—almost forgot. Maria asked me to tell you to bring your girl by the dam sometime this week.” She smirked, holding up air quotes. “Said she’d like ‘inventor insight.’”

His expression deadpanned. “Maria ain’t letting her go anywhere near machines.”

Ellie raised an eyebrow. “Ooh-kay. Controlling much?”

Joel gave her a warning look. “Ellie.”

She dismissed him with a wave. “I’ll just tell her myself.”

Joel exhaled sharply through his nose, already seeing how that would go. If Leela knew Maria was interested, she’d want to help. She’d go, eager to prove herself, eager to be useful. And then she’d get herself hurt again, pushing past whatever limits she had, just like she always did. That wasn’t happening.

“She’s stayin’ away,” he muttered. “She’ll go, then want to help. Overdo it. Get herself hurt or worse.” He gave Ellie a pointed look. “Better not.”

Ellie let out a sharp laugh, all evil intent. “And you’re telling me there’s nothing between you two?”

“Ellie,” he hissed, too fast, too sharp—just as Maya stirred slightly against his chest, her little face scrunching. He froze, holding his breath, waiting to see if she’d wake.

Ellie’s smirk was damn near insufferable.

“Denial,” she sang out, drawing out the word like it was the funniest thing she’d heard all day.

Joel sent her a flat look.

Ellie just wiggled her fingers in a wave and made for the door once more. “Night, old man.”

The door clicked shut behind her, leaving him alone in the quiet house, the fire crackling low in the hearth. Joel exhaled slowly, his hand smoothing absently over Maya’s back again.

Denial. Maybe. He wasn't ruling it out yet.

X

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[ladyhoneydarlinglove]

{one piece, zosan, ficlet} first impression

(i seem to have gained a sudden influx of new followers who i'm assuming found me through ao3? so uh, hi! i'm sophie. sometimes i write things. usually those things end up being very long. so here's a little ficlet from that time i challenged myself to fill a bunch of prompts while keeping it under 1K, then gave up after doing two lol.)

~~~~~

Rating: G Notes: pre-relationship

The first time Sanji heard the name Roronoa Zoro, it came from a table of drunk Marines.

He had come by with a few more bottles of wine for them just in time to hear one saying to the others, “I’m tellin’ you, everything you’ve heard about Roronoa Zoro is true! That man’s more demon than he is human!”

“Rubbish,” scoffed another. “He’s just another lowlife bounty hunter, ain’t nothing to be scared of.”

“You didn’t see him at the base last week,” the first man muttered. “Brought in a body he’d cut clean in half. Just dumped it in front of us and asked for his payment, like it was nothin’. He looked right at me and I swear his eyes were glowin’ red.”

“Were his eyes glowing, or were you just drunk on shift again?” someone else piped up, and Sanji got caught up in the ensuing brawl when someone carelessly knocked an entire plate of pasta on the floor.

He didn’t think much of the marine’s story until a few weeks later, when he heard the name Roronoa Zoro again; this time coming from a group of nearby islanders out celebrating their Mayor’s birthday. 

“They say he’s more monster than man; a demon in disguise,” a pretty lady with chestnut hair and plunging cleavage said, smiling coyly at Sanji when he handed her a free aperitif and making him swoon.

“Probably true,” the Mayor laughed. “Certainly no man I know could have cut down ten pirates in a single blow. But he saved the village from them, so I can’t rightly complain.”

“Did his eyes glow red?” the lady asked, hiding her smile behind a delicate hand; Sanji had never been more in love. “I’ve heard gazing into them is like looking into the fires of hell itself.”

“I don’t know that I’d go that far,” the Mayor answered. “Though I will admit, his stare was quite intense. I felt like I couldn’t look straight at him.”

“How fascinating. I’d love to meet him myself someday,” the lady sighed dreamily, and even though Sanji didn’t know him, he decided at that moment that he hated Roronoa Zoro, and if he ever met this so-called demon, Sanji would show him what real hellfire looked like.

Stories and gossip flowed more freely than wine at the Baratie, and tales about the Demon of East Blue kept coming in; his unmatched skill with a blade, the incredible haul of pirates both dead and alive he’d dumped at naval bases, the evil red glow of his terrible eyes. If he so much as looks at you, you’re already dead, Sanji heard whispered more than once. 

He didn’t buy that for a second, but he did start to wonder what the pirate hunter’s eyes actually looked like, given how often they were mentioned, always with an undercurrent of awe and terror. Maybe they really were red. Maybe they really did glow. Sanji doubted he was really a demon from the depths of hell, but then again, he’d heard stories of impossible things out on the Grand Line from Zeff plenty of times. Maybe he was a devil fruit user, and his power was somehow held within his eyes.

Slowly, an image of the infamous Demon of the East Blue began taking shape in Sanji’s mind, and while he couldn’t have said exactly what it entailed, it was definitely something only vaguely human with terrible, glowing red eyes. So when a swordsman with by the name of Zoro showed up one afternoon at the Baratie following his captain-come-Zeff’s new chore boy, it didn’t register to Sanji that this was Roronoa Zoro until the idiot challenged Dracule Mihawk to a fight, and one of Don Krieg’s men started screaming about a pirate hunter.

And as Sanji stared at him, this myth of a man, this terrifying swordsman, this supposed demon from the depth of hell itself, he only had one thought. I can’t believe no one’s ever mentioned how fucking stupid his hair is.

[shysuccubusstuff]

Xavier meeting the real you pt. 1:

Summary: So what if Xavier finally met the real you?

Note: Lately, I've seen several tiktoks of people talking about how the men of L&DS wouldn't look their way if they were actually real... WHICH I DISAGREE. Happy Valentines day by the way, I've been so busy and uni has barely started...

Xavier:

Xavier, who just as he is about to finish killing the last Wanderer gets swallowed by a strange portal, the light at the end blinding him for a few seconds. As he slowly got used to the new source of light, he soon noticed something. The place he had appeared was definitely not the place he had known before. Slowly, he got up, his legs almost giving up as he slowly looked out the window at the room, the few things that he was able to see were much different from what he had seen before. The buildings were much shorter, even if the cars and people that he was able to see were similar to the ones he had grown accustomed to see. Finally, he turned around, seeing you in your bed. Your face was completely flushed, trying your best to accommodate the few strands of hair that were falling in your hair while you used your other hand to try and hide your (slightly) shameful pyjamas from him. Your mouth had become completely dry, your phone still in your hand as you tried to stop yourself from screaming at the top of your lungs.

"... Where am I?" Xavier finally spoke, his hands still wrapped around his sword, his hunter uniform torn in a few places. "Who are you?" His voice sounded strangely familiar, almost as if you were listening to the first chapters of the story you loved so much.

"I... What in the...?" You slowly looked towards the screen, noticing how the game had suddenly crashed, a strange screen freezing the game just before you finished the stage. "I... I don't know, I really don't know, I was... I was doing my... and suddenly you were... you were here! With your... your sword, and your-- your uniform, and that... that shiny grey hair-- Anyways! I really have no clue how you-- you moved out." You kept trying to get the game to restart, opening and closing the game as an attempt to maybe... get an error and reset everything? At the same time, you kept pinching yourself, how could you evnen imagine having THE Xavier, the pretty boy next door in your own room in the middle of the night? Xavier slowly blinked, almost as if he had started to comprehend the situation he was in.

"I suppose this must be some kind of... effect of the protocore field. Since my phone doesn't even work, I suppose I will try to find somewhere to stay for now, I'm sure I will be able to find somewhere nearby." Just as Xavier was about to leave your room, you grabed him by his gloved hand, your body moving towards him as if you were the one inside the game.

"Wait! I think you should stay, I doubt your phone even works here, how am I supposed to find you? I can let you stay here, my room is fine-- Or maybe the sofa? I don't really know which one you prefer." Xavier stood confused for a second, finally deciding that your idea was the most plausible one, deciding to accept, apologising for the inconvenience as he finally hid his sword. "You should take a bath, I can try to search for some clothes that could fix you? I'll get to it, the bathroom is next to the--Oh right, you have no idea, I will show you the apartment" You quickly got up, ignoring the stupid pajama you had decided to wear that night since it was the confiest, after all, who would see you like that?...

Anyways, you moved around your small flat with Xavier following you behind, his face making small expressions each time you showed him something that he had never seen before. As soon as you finished showing him, you left him in the living room, almost running to your room to search around your wardrobe, finally being able to see some oversized clothes you had bought a few weeks ago. As soon as you gave them to him, he thanked you, making his way towards the bathroom. That was when you finally noticed something, the uniform had been torned, with a few of them even reaching his skin, the bleeding had already stopped, but the wound was still there. "If... If you don't mind, I would like to heal your wounds, I think they can get infected because of the battle." Xavier's eyes fixed on you, almost being able to tell what he was thinking just from the slight change on his gaze.

"That's fine, I will let you know when I'm done." With that finally set and done, the two of you moved to where you had to, with you still trying your best to understand just what the hell had happened with the game. A few minutes after, Xavier called out to you, making you get up from your bed so you could take the kit, rushing to where Xavier was. Shortly after entering the living room, you noticed something, Xavier was sitting on the sofa, his whole chest being unclothed as a few drops of water still fell from his hair. You swallowed, trying your best to avoid screeching as if you were some kind of animal in heat. After all, you would have been completely allowed to do so in your room, still, you clenched your fist, taking a deep breath as you sat down in the sofa, silently, you opened the kit, taking out the hydrogen peroxide and starting to disinfect the numerous wounds that were covering his arms and chest. You were confused, your mind rushing as you tried to find a reason why would Xavier do something like that for someone like Xavier to be able to undress himself like that.

"I'm sorry for annoying you once more." Xavier kept quite for a few minutes, the silence only being broken each time he let out a low hiss when the sting became too much. "This must be uncomfortable. After all, we met just a few minutes ago, I know this sounds crazy, but you remind me of... a certain someone." Xavier smiled softly, making your heart ache a bit as you realised that his memories were still filled with memories of the fictional "you". You hurried your hands, trying your best to not feel your heart slowly break as you kept reminding yourself of just how different you were from the you in game. Despite your poor attempt, Xavier was able to notice the change in your demeanor, his eyes drifting to your face as he saw you. "I did not mean that in a wrong way, I'm sorry if that was rude." Xavier clenched his hands, his expression changing to one of concern. "I... I'm just worried, I left her there, in the protofield, she's more than capable of fighting alone, I know that--" You were finally done with the small treatment, closing the kit as Xavier kept talking about the charming you he had fallen in love with.

"It's normal that you're worried about her, she's... your lover I assume." Xavier's face reddened for a moment, making him almost choke on the glass of water you had brought to him. At the same time, he looked confused, how was it possible for someone that seemed to be from a completely different universe to know so much about his reality? Still, he smiled with kindness, taking the sweater you had given to him as soon as you were done. "I will take my leave, you can sleep here, I left a few blankets, let's talk tomorrow. Rest well." You rushed to your room with the kit still in your hands. You left it in your desk, your eyes starting to get a bit wet because of the heartache you felt. You knew it didn't make sense, but how could you not react like that after you had finally meet the person you considered to be the love of your life? (At least if he had been actually real...). Confused by the past hour events, you threw yourself to your bed, trying your best to fall asleep without the soft voice of that sweet silver haired boy.

[rory-multifandom-mess]

In your Out of Tune AU, how would you describe Boxten and Poppy’s friendship both before and after the nightmares started getting worse?

Also any just fun facts about their friendship?

(The starter duo (trio usually but I love the duo as well) makes me ill. I am so obsessed with them and love whenever an AU shows their dynamic and puts importance on it I SCREAM/p)

(So thank you very much for making this au and traumatizing my son I very much appreciate it and I’m excited to see more)

AAAUHH!! ty for the kind words! the reception for this AU has been amazing and has just blown me away. Ok anyways to answer your question:

Before the nightmares became horrifically bad, Boxten and Poppy’s friendship was just as you see in canon. Basically extrovert adopts the introvert. Poppy is excitable and chatty, and she would constantly try to involve Boxten in things, and he would gladly join in cause this is Poppy! She’s his best friend, she could never lead him astray :D and then she proceeds to do something dangerous for fun and he’s like “OMG POPPY NO-“

during the lead up to where Boxten’s nightmares are now, Poppy didn’t actually notice his behavior starting to change. She isn’t very observant (DIVINE ADHD DIAGNOSIS BLAST), so it was only when he began to physically look more exhausted and complain about random aches and pains that she actually noticed something was wrong.

Nowadays is different, obviously. Poppy feels closer to him as a friend than ever, constantly looking out for him and all, constantly trying to make sure he’s okay, but she also feels like she failed him at the same time. She feels terrible for how long it took for her to notice something was wrong and thinks she’s a bad friend for not realizing he was acting different immediately. (i may or may not be somewhat projecting)

Boxten, on the other hand, still considers Poppy as his best friend. She’s caring for him, and he appreciates her looking out for him even more than before. But he also feels bad for burdening her. He feels bad that, because of his pain, she’s now changing the way she acts just for him. He hates that. He hates being a burden for everyone because of something he can’t control. He feels like she’s too good for him.

…. now that i think about it, they sorta swapped roles. Before, Boxten would look out for her since her recklessness and impulsiveness would tend to get her in trouble. Now, Poppy looks out for Boxten because his poor judgement from the sleep deprivation gets him in trouble. Funny how that happens

Unfortunately I don’t have any fun facts right now since I’ve been extremely focused on the refs, but maybe I’ll think of some eventually!

Thanks for the ask!!!

[neunnnnnnn]

⋆｡˚୨My extraterrestrials experiences after shifting୧˚｡⋆

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

extraterrestrials- "They are beings or life forms that originate from outside Earth, typically from other planets, moons, or even different galaxies."

Okay apparently they are Aliens and not Spirits or ghosts( That was my mistake, but I lowkey still think they are spirits.. atleast through my experiences)

One thing that surprised me was that extraterrestrials exist, it was one thing no one would convince me were real because it didn't make sense to me in anywayyy, I couldn't fathom how they were other beings like with flesh that existed with us but it changed after I first discovered shifting.

I'll mention 6 of them because there are honestly alot I could write a whole ass 20 pages and I'm not even kidding.

I WILL BE REFERING TO THEM AS "IT" or "THEY" BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THEY HAVE GENDERS.... well I honestly couldn't tell.

I assigned them names because why not, except from one who already had a name.

LONG POST AHEAD‼️

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

Lina☾

I first met Lina when I 1st astral projected for the 1st time, I kid you not I was scared asf. And its understandable because I was still beleving that spirits and demons are scary and that I am going to die if I ever meet one. Lets just say I screamed myself back into my body and started going to church again😃. We met again after 2years because I was so scared that I did not attempt anything spiritual for 2 whole years!!.

I tried astral projecting again and they came to me as soon as I was exploring outside my room. Again I was scared asf but I kept telling myself that I was safe and in control. I tried speaking to them at first but they was just staring at me and I was starting to get uncomfortable and I wanted to leave but I didn't know if it was going to attack me or not.

As I started to leave they talked to me, but it was telepathic because... okay first of all it had no mouth but I could hear its voice in my head. ( and I have to add that it had no normal voice but it was like static? that's the only way I can describe it.)

Anyway they asked me where I was going to which surprised me because...wtf why would they ask me where I'm going. I was legit scared and was finding a way to leave and it said something that shocked me that I even made a post abt it ( The post).

I didn't get to answer them and they disappeared and I was brought back to my body. I have never seen them again and I would lowkey want to just to show it how much I've improved now😂.

2. Areꕤ

I am so sure she is a female because of the aura that she was emitting to me felt so safe and cuddly.

I met her after my first time shifting. I still remember that feeling that I had of not wanting to go back to my cr but at the same time fearing that I might miss my parents if I decide to just stay here, I went to bed in my reality and said my safeword but instead of returning to my cr I went straight to the void. I didn't fully understand what the void was at that time so I assumed I was dreaming or something.

I suddenly started feeling my surroundings changed and I was in a field, I told myself that I was lucid but it didn't quite feel like I was in a lucid dream but I knew deep down that I said that because I didn't want to scare myself.

I suddenly had that feeling that I wasn't alone and when I looked to my right she was there literally close to me that I screamed a little. I moved away a bit and I remember feeling safe even though she had scared me. She was actually really helpful, because I kept asking questions after questions and even asked her if she's been to earth and she said yes but she didn't stay because of how low vibrational it was😭. One thing I will never forget is when I asked her If I should permashift or not because at that time I was so desperate to leave my cr but I was scared to leave my family and she said, "Reality belongs to you and only you, wherever you go your loved ones will also be there with you" I cried my eyes out lmao but it honestly changed the way I viewed permashifting. I still am planning to but I am now not in a hurry.

I have seen her again and I last saw her last year at around the time I was taking a break from shifting.

3.Beau𓇼

This one was interesting and kind of playful and I'm glad that I got to meet them after I had gotten rid of my fears.

They were in my Lucid dream and it appeared after I tried making a portal to shift to my WR. I was a bit frightened because it kept on changing forms? like it would change into my mom then my s/o then my teacher, it was honestly confusing and I asked them what they wanted and that's when it changed into its original form. Idk what to say to them and I assumed that maybe they were friends or atleast knew Are. But it didn't because it looked at me like I was crazy when I asked them about her.

Anyway I didn't really know what to do so I just kept on exploring the dream while they were following me around. I had a feeling that it was a child like around 9years in human age but who knows. they ended up scaring me awake tho😂.

Oh and I've never seen them again.

4.Slay⚘.

This is a recent and when I say it was kind of mean. And it was when I astral projected. The minute I opened my eyes it was in my room, ofc it scared the living shit out of me that I "ran" (not really) out of my room and it kept on following me, and I just screamed at it to leave me alone. And it did but I was scared that I just went back to my body 😭✋🏾

5. Doe༊·˚

Appeared to me while I was in my 80s reality and told me that they knew I was not from this reality ( the 80s one) and I was ofc shocked to my coreee because I thought they were going to prevent me from going back to my cr🤦🏽‍♀️.

They were a bit talkative, they were asking me alot of questions from why I shifted, to my life in my cr and I was lowkey skeptical that they wanted the info to take it to the government( The movies that I've watched!!! Omg 😭) Anyway I was answering some questions and was also asking them some but they refused to answer some but they said that they approached me because they could tell that my soul had recently arrived there!!!, which was honestly fun to hear, like they can tell if someone shifted here!!?

Anyways I didn't see them again when I recently shifted to my 80s reality.

6.Yui♡

That was there name when I had asked. They came to me in a lucid dream as I was flying but they were impersonating my childhood friend. I easily noticed and told them to reveal its real form and they looked shocked that I easily found out, but at this point it was easy.

They refused and wanted to stay in that form and I was like okay, whatever makes you happy I guess. But I had a feeling that they wanted something because I honestly don't think they would approach you for the fun of it?

But yeah they continued to hang out around me which was weirding me out because it making me become aware that the place that I was... was in my mind, like it was making me become so aware I didn't like it and I woke myself up.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

Yeah I guess that's it ofc there are some that I didn't mention but I felt like these were the more interesting imo.

Shoutout to these beautiful people for asking me to make a post about it <3 ( @gonfreecs123) (@vwrtual )

I am happy to answer any questions you have🩷🩷

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Weekend Ramblings

Thame·Po Episode 10

Yeah, I'm late but my brain was not working properly on friday, so, now works. Congrats on the sex! I love this friend group so much. This episode was a lot. First of all Baifern needs to go touch grass. I did appreciate that the show went there, all things considering, but she made me mad. And not that I needed more proof, but Po is a better person than me. Also I hate Pemika and this whole thing around idols and dating. It's insane, but obviously eventually the company will come around, cause glass houses and all that. The PepperGam noble idiocy thing was a bit whatever, although still heartbreaking, but I'm hoping this means that our mains won't follow in their footsteps. This show is as close to perfection as I have seen from gmmtv in a while, so let's not ruin it. The best part was definitely seeing the group supporting each other. The hand holding at the press conference had me all emotional. I'm giving up on screaming at Thame. I guess since they were technically already caught, he's not bothered. Not that he acted like he ever was. Thame and Po continue to be them. I just love how even through all this, they keep checking in on each other.

GelBoys Episode 2

Never has a show made me feel so ancient. Also this show is a massive reminder of how much I absolutely hated all that love drama in high school. I had zero patience for it. Obsessively rereading messages, overanalysing every word to find some hidden meaning, wondering, Does he actually like me? Honestly, I’m exhausted just thinking about it. And on top of that, I’m beyond grateful that I didn’t have to deal with any of it in the era of smartphones, social media, selfies, apps, and so on. So much angst. I guess playlists are the new mixtapes. It's certainly easier. I continue to really like the atmosphere, it feels very grounded. And although I like Fou4Mod, I adore Baabin, so I'm not a huge fan of the way Fou4Mod is using him to make Chian jealous. Like since he's his bestie, he could've at least been honest. I'm sure he'd be on board. And I know he's gotta learn this for himself but, Fou4Mod, sweetie, this is a terrible idea. You are going to be crying a lot on that train in the future. But, I mean, who hasn't done that before?

Perfect 10 Liners Episode 17

I got YothaGun and PondSand. What a joy! I really could watch Perth do anything but seeing him being the biggest love sick puppy is a special treat. Faifa seems to have a bit of a savior complex, which we kinda knew but it's pretty obvious now. I love characters that hide their pain behind a smile, and he's so kind on top of that, so of course I love him. I also liked that he noticed Wine's overall mood and checked in with him about boundaries. I'm hoping Wine can break some of his walls and perhaps teach him the word 'NO.' I'm thinking maybe we won't get a side couple this time because we have enough couples to check in with, in between FaifaWine stuff, but we'll see.

The Boy Next World Episode 7

First of all, it was great to see Thorn/Tong again, I keep forgetting this is part of the TharnType Universe. As I said last week, BossNouel can bring it in those scenes, but I still feel like I'm watching RainPhayu. Now Cir, you had to see this coming, no? I mean you only had like a million chances to come clean. I feel bad for Phu, but I gotta say, last week I thought he might have an inkling about this, but maybe not?Now…for that ending and the preview. So not multiple universes, but something else is going on. He's dissociating. I'm intrigued and worried if they will land this part of the story. It seems we'll be getting our beloved amnesia trope and I'm so excited about it. Honestly I was thinking maybe he doesn't really have amnesia and he's faking, but wouldn't that be a bit much, all things considered? I mean, they’re going to end up together, so I’d really love to not completely despise Cir by then. The second half of the episode was strange though, pace wise. It felt a bit disconnected, and rushed. Part of it might be intentional, given Phu's state of mind, but it still felt weird to me. The sides are kinda cute, although I must admit, Wim gets on my nerves a bit. That dude must end each day with a tension headache. Like seriously, he's so tense it makes me stressed. And also, why is he so annoyed by Jin?, cause like he listed a bunch of stuff but honestly I don't see it. Wim needs to forget about Cir for 5 seconds and focus on something else. This animosity feels a bit forced.

Sangmin Dinneaw Episode 8 [Finale]

I honestly don’t even know where to start. I’ve come to expect a certain level of whiplash from this show, but this was on an entirely different level. We went from child abuse and murder plot straight into that cucumber scene. I can’t even begin to imagine the thought process behind it. This was a roller-coaster, and not in a good way. That said, at least we finally got a storyline where a guy gets revenge on his abusive parents, so that wasn’t terrible. But the fact that the hotel dude didn't get run over is unfortunate. Now that it’s over, I genuinely don’t know what to say. The main couple was cute enough, and the sides were decent, but overall, this whole thing was a mess. Honestly, the ending was the only part that felt even remotely normal. And still I'm not sure about the amnesia. But who cares? Most of this makes no sense and I'm not gonna waste any more time trying to figure it out.

[deepsthroats]

PUSH2START: rafe cameron gets turned on when reader (THEE brand-new hot young singer), went to outer banks to record her next music video, from her smash summer song.

———————————————————————

NOTES: HEAR ME OUT that idea came into me bc i think tyla and drew would make such a hot couple mdjjdjdj…also english is not my first language, so apologies for any mistake!

WARNINGS: male masturbation,erotic fantasy, rafe and his disturbing troughts about fucking reader.

“Jesus..fuckk” rafe’s dirty words sounded more like a curse while stroking himself to the image of your doll-body, tan sun kissed skin and bambi eyes. God, you were just so fuckable- the way ur hips were movin while dancing to “pushin' on my buttons with no hesitation”, -makin rafe actually wanna push all of your buttons deeply…he remembers your foreigner accent calling him:

“Hay Mr. rafey cameron” you said with a big smile, on your way to hug him. He hated how he loved that hug so much, stayin’ a litte longer with his hand on ur waist, squeezing a lil’ bit.

A big popstar like you coming to a small city like outer banks of course kept the place curious. Everyone were looking foward to meet u ever since the media leaked the place you were going to shoot the music video for PUSH2START. But u def didn’t disapointed. Everyone were stunned not only by your unreal beauty, but about how kind and sweet was your personality. You made sure to take pictures with all the fans, talk to them, and even payed some food for the tired fans.

The Cameron family, as the richest clan livin in outer banks, were the ones taking care of the whole musicvideo. The shoots, the recording, the marketing…everything. So, ofcourse rafe cameron would be present. Sarah and Wheezie were having a blash about meeting the most pretty, talented, funny and successful it girl of the time. Mr Rafe, could not care less..i mean, he did in fact not give a fuck about pop divas, so it was just another boring ass event he would have to attend cuz hes ward’s cameron son.

That changed the minute he saw you. WHATTHEFUCK-the only thing that passed by his head. He could not move or speak, cuz all the blood from his body went straight to his cock. He had too many thoughts- all ending up with you screaming his name while he pounded hard into your tight pussy. was a fucking torture to him watch you all day, seeing you with those small jeans, top cropped, showing your belly piercing he desperately wanted to lick, and your pretty legs that we wanted to grab and squeeze.

In fact, he did tried to flirty with you all day. Calling you princess, beauty, doll, honey…tried to keep eye-contact, laying his hands on your body- but you were just naive and innocent. You had this confident hot woman recording the music video, but you also had a very sweet and kinda dorky girl in the behind the scenes. Rafe wanted to get you all for himself, and beat the hell up of any boy who tries to hit on you. All these patetic losers guys could not workship you the way he would. FUCK you were driving him insane and honry as hell.

So, when he got home, his dick hurting for so much time being hard, he opens his phone, and finds the pic he was taking of you. Rafey’s mouth started to salivate just by looking at your wet skin- he wanted so bad to get you like this-. He zoomed at your perfect face, and lowered his hand at his drooling dick, givin a long squeeze. took his pants n brief almost immediatly, he was high by how honry he was.

Cameron felt at his stomach his pink, big cock, leaking precum on the top of it, and slowly started to move. Stroking himself meanwhile movin hips, imagining he was slamming the hell out of you-pushin all of your buttons-felt so goddamn amazing. It was so hard to keep holdin his phone with ur pic w the free hand, so lost in his imagination and burning desire.

“Oh my princess..fuck” he screams when his orgasm hits like a bomb in his body. Cum were all over ur picture from his phone. And one thing he knew- he needs u badly and it must make HASTE.

[lotus-pear]

i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

[luck-of-the-drawings]

EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?

[axolau]

TRANSFORMERS PRIME RANT

content warning: discussions of physical/psychological abuse

I’m going to try to write a rant but we’ll see how good I am at stringing my words together.

I love Transformers Prime with my whole heart, particularly Starscream, and despite and because of this, I don’t like the way his character plays out in season three.

After Starscream rejoins the decepticons at the end of season two, the abuse he receives from Megatron gets way worse. Megatron physically beat Starscream quite often in season one, and as season three progresses, this treatment is on full display and gets so much worse. And these abuse scenes are genuinely horrible and upsetting. Megatron physically dominates Starscream, who is much smaller and thinner, and the show spends a lot of time emphasizing his fear and screams as Megatron beats him.

Alongside Starscream’s abuse getting worse, he also gets significant Stockholm syndrome in season three, which makes the whole situation one thousand times ickier. While in season one Starscream tried to usurp and fight back against Megatron, now he looks up to the person who is actively and regularly beating him half to death.

But there’s nothing wrong with depicting a toxic character dynamic, it’s how the narrative frames it that matters.

Starscream gets treated worse by Megatron while thinking better of him as the show goes on. And the only people we get to see this ugly situation through the eyes of are Starscream and Megatron, who both think this is fine in one way or another.

We never get to see any other character acknowledge the abusive relationship. The autobots are totally oblivious or totally uncaring that it’s happening, and you can bet the other Decepticons aren’t going to do anything about it. Even after Megatron leaves behind his goal of oppression, he shows no regret of how he’d treated Starscream, the person who he had arguably made suffer the most. He just shouts at him and makes him flinch one last time then abandons him. He continues to mistreat him then leaves him behind. Leaves behind the person who he had physically and psychologically destroyed for thousands if not millions of years. Although I don’t expect Megatron to show sympathy for Starscream, since his ‘redemption’ was just him retiring and leaving everyone else to clean up the mess he made. (I have good and bad feelings on Megatron’s ending, but I don’t want to get too sidetracked)

What matters is, without Megatron acknowledging the horribleness of the situation, and without the autobots being aware of it, the only person who can acknowledge how toxic the situation was is Starscream.

But he doesn’t get this chance. His arc ends when the Predacons beat him up for revenge.

Starscream is an abuse victim, and he is never given a chance to heal. No character, himself included, ever fully acknowledges how problematic the situation is. He is never given a chance to be powerful. Over and over again he is forced to be weak and without agency. From the start of season three to the end of the movie, his character is a slow trickle into suffering more and more, being beaten down again and again until he doesn’t get back up.

When watching the show, I was fine with the amount of frightening abuse they were depicting on screen because I thought they would have some amount of healing from it. But it just gets worse and worse until the show ends and that’s it. It just feels like abuse for the sake of abuse at this point.

But the thing is, I’m not even opposed to Starscream having a bad ending. Let me explain.

I think it makes sense after him being conniving and evil and power hungry and cruel for his actions to catch up for him, and for him to be humbled in one way or another.

The thing is, they depicted Starscream’s fall to shame without ever giving him a moment of power. There’s no climax in season three where he takes control of his life again. There’s no moment where he gets to be more than humiliated and shamed.

Starscream is a victim, and he’s an abuser as well. He treats everyone around him horribly. He is a perpetuator of the cycle of abuse, where, after being abused by Megatron and others, he started to replicate their cruelty in order to have power.

The story needed to recognize him as both an abuser and a victim. It seemed to think these cancel out. That Starscream being beat by the Predacons in the end is the consequence of his abusive actions towards others coming back to haunt him. But just as a middle school bully doesn’t deserve to go home and be bullied by their sibling, an abuser does not deserve to be abused by another person. No one deserves to be abused.

Starscream being abused doesn’t pay for his crimes. And he isn’t just being humbled for treating the predacons badly; he’s being tortured.

As an abuser, Starscream deserved to see the consequences of his actions in some way, but as a victim, Starscream deserved any kind of moment of victory.

All this to say, this isn’t about wether or not Starscream deserved to be beat by the predacons (although I maintain that we should have better mindsets about paying for our crimes than “abusers deserve abuse”). This is about the fact that he deserved to see a shred of honor before his fall as well.

This is about the fact that as an abuse victim, he is given not a shred of dignity or an acknowledgment of his pain. His descent in season three isn’t even a character arc. There’s no growth, no resolution, no rising or falling climax. Like I said before, it’s just him suffering over and over, until the series ends.

Starscream is perhaps a good, although tragic, depiction of an abuser: a character who treats others poorly until it finally catches up to him. But he is a bad and problematic depiction of a victim: someone who never gets to be seen, even by himself.